Mother Mary - eviltoast

So, let me get this straight. Joseph notices that Mary is pregnant. Joseph confronts Mary about it. And Mary replies: err, hmm, I know, the angel of the Lord came down and impregnated me. We’re going to have the child of God. And Joseph is like: okay, cool.

  • tomatoisaberry@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Even Biblical writers were not that dumb. They said Joseph was all, Bullshit, but I still have the feels." So he was going to quietly break their engagement.

    Then an angel appeared in his dreams and said, “It’s true, bro, you can trust us.”

    Not saying it’s a great story, but it’s slightly more believable.

    • rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com
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      11 days ago

      Thank you for this. I’m also an atheist but like, come on, at least read the part you’re going to criticize. He was ready to leave her and have her be a public disgrace until the angels showed up to convince him.

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      There’s a non zero chance that marry gave him an epic blowjob.

      Alternatively, slipped him some special shrooms or something.

      • MagicShel@lemmy.zip
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        11 days ago

        “The Lord claimed this hole, but left these two for you. What do you say? Stay?”

    • DigitalNirvana@lemm.ee
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      11 days ago

      tl;dr : the word translated to young woman, and that was later changed by translators to virgin.

  • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Mary: I was raped by an occupying Roman soldier who impregnated me, my family will murder me…

    Joseph: we’ll say god made you with child and we’ll get married, fixed.

    At least that’s my theory on the whole thing

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    11 days ago

    It’s a rehashed, remade, repeated story.

    A lot like how we all all repeat and repost memes on social media.

    Someone came up with the original story a long, long, long time ago and it got reposted. Then the Egyptians told the same story, then the Greeks, then the Persians, then several other middle eastern tribes (I don’t know the details but it was a repeated story) … girl gets mysteriously pregnant, claims god dropped his seed and now she’s carrying the baby.

    No one knows who the original OP was … probably some hunter gatherer that left his girl for a month and came home to find her pregnant and now had to come up with a story to explain it to people. Then his original post just got repeated a thousand times.

  • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    It’s all made up. Don’t take it so seriously. FYI, there are also no such thing as invisible wizards in the sky that grant wishes.