Something I recall from youth: expert - ex is a has-been, spurt is a drip under pressure; so an expert is a has-been drip under pressure
I don’t think it’s funny to me anymore, but had I ever seen anyone in that shirt it’d have been the funniest thing to say when I was 14
Coward move. Stand up for yourself
Sometimes it’s good to let your freak flag fly, other times you have to pretend you didn’t see that look on a coworkers face when someone said “Good Girl”
Yeah, sometimes you gotta pretend you don’t get mad leather vibes at the office Halloween party. Gotta leave your worldly awareness at the door. Just let Jenny in accounting be Cat Woman, vanilla style.
I’d be looking askance at whoever it was that said “good girl”, TBH. I can’t imagine saying that in a workplace to anyone who isn’t a literal child.
It was actually said to a therapy dog that was there for the day, but I saw a reaction, then she saw me see the reaction, and we shared that look of “I know you know that I know you know” and we both didn’t want to have further complications so it was never brought up.
Ah, fair enough! I forgot therapy dogs and guide dogs are a thing for a moment, there.
I wear a chain with a padlock around my neck, that’s not enough?
Is your kink lockpicking lawyer?
my friend made me take the bdsm test and it returned 97% vanilla. I don’t have this problem lol
Also something I’ve learned recently is that I’m like super un-sex-driven. Like I have a drive but it’s like 10 mins before bed a couple of times a week. I cannot fathom how people could cheat on their partner because they’re horny, I just don’t really get it.
You know the trend of putting 10 people’s phones open with TikTok together and if you get a thirst trap you’re out? I did like 20+ and this is the closest I got
As someone with a high sex drive, I still don’t understand cheating. If your horny and your partner isn’t around, or in the mood, just have a wank and go on with your day. It ain’t that difficult.
abstinence just makes it all that more fun when you do have a go
Some people just suck in not fun ways
how is that not a thirst trap, look at him…
maybe I have a problem
No problems on more porn options.
Ngl I typically just avoid or info dump, depending on the company. If they’re direct though I ain’t gonna lie. You opened this can of worms, you’re gonna go fishing.
Though there have been times I have advice but that’s more “the kids are asking age appropriate questions.”
You opened this can of worms, you’re gonna go fishing.
Ohh so that’s what that phrase came from.
<.< Full disclosure, I made that up on the spot. And a quick google suggests there is no full saying, it means “you opened us up to more trouble/problems” where the worms are the trouble/problems in question.
Too late. We’ve just witnessed a false “the full saying” be born. It will be remembered alongside such classics as “oftentimes better than a master of none”, and “satisfaction brought it back”
Well played. It makes a lot of sense.
Yeah hearing the full phrase is fun. Like “speak of the devil and so he shall appear”.
I’m learning all sorts of things today :)
But you don’t buy cans of worms?
If you count a plastic tub you do
You opened this can of worms, you’re gonna go fishing.
nice one, i gotta remember that one!
Quality Stamets post 👍
My kink has never come up in vanilla conversation.
i guess we’re playing 20 questions:
1
does it involve tools (ie, you can’t do it with only naked people)
Mine does. Usually more so in one month than any others.
you got they Santa clause Clause fever
the claussy
I can’t pretend to be apalled, I just pretend I didn’t hear it, and I have quite a lot of fetishes, with a lot of weird and/or gross ones among them.
“why would i be appalled? i’ve been on the internet since a kid, i’ve seen everything, this shit ain’t nothing to me man”
No I don’t. 😎
i was once with my kids at the park.
a mom my kids were playing with started talking to me.
she began complaining about tentacle hentai…
had to act like I never heard of that.
not sure if that counts as a normal conversation.
The fact that a stranger/acquaintance thought that was an appropriate conversation in a park with kids around says a lot more about her than it does about you. I’d feel more comfortable around someone who secretly likes it than someone who openly talks about hating it.
I’d say she got undiagnosed autism or something. but then again, I have diagnosed autism and know not to talk about tentacle hentai to strangers
We don’t count??
not sure about you. but i can go from 1,2,3 all the way until I get bored
I’m not sure about you, either, because I can go from 1,2,3 all the way until I get boned.
I don’t think tentacles HAVE bones…
To be fair, neither do human penises.
What’s there to complain about? Did she some how run out of tentacle hentai?
The lack of (consensual) tentacle-fucking creatures IRL is infuriating.
Consentacles if you will
you know what i have been contemplating: ass-worms might do the job?
enjoy your tapeworms, just make sure you wash your hands before cooking
how would you feel to learn about tentacle porn, and also that there are no fuckeable tentacle monsters in real life?
Can we agree that it is strange.
because those tentacles aren’t doing anything, they are only playing with their beaks.
and getting eaten out by a sharp beak hurts my clitoris, and I am a cis dude.
No living tentacle monsters to fuck but there are plenty of tentacle shaped dildos out there
Wait, sex is real?
no, sex is complex, sometimes purely imaginary.
Don’t be ridiculous.
is it?
mine is mostly imaginary
At least just “mostly”!
Them gotdang’ol tentacles I tell you hwat.
Are you sure she wasn’t “subtly” trying to bring it up to you to test the waters to see if you might want to get freaky?
probably, but the question is not which one, but how many STDs would be involved
The trick is to get enough STDs at the same time, that way they all kill each other.
Wow now that sounds like a bad dragon dream
Or Bad Dagon?
gosh I would never choose to have that kink!
…
…
we don’t choose the kinks we have, the kinks we have choose us
Oh no, that sounds terrible! Now let’s both take the BDSM Test to make sure we know what other kinks to steer clear of.
Now why did you have to go and post this? I guess I need to figure out what “submissive” and “rope bunny” mean now.
A good time, typically.
I took the test for fun and randomly picked answers.
Rope bunny? Brat?
(Principal Skinner meme)
I took the test for fun and randomly picked answers.
If you say so.
Unless you’re in a group of furries. Then it’s either a poker face, or suggestive exclamations of OwO and UwU.
ÒwÓ
övö
Aggressive furry noises
me when grls r brought up in vanilla conversation:
hm? grlzsies? nevr heard of em -
gosh i wish i had hair like that!
idumo - in the convs i hav been in - peeps r open n r lik “yea nu i cm see thad” which is cool - so like - sure, if ur talkn to ur parents or waterever…
also lik - if one has a common one - like i feel bdms (or bsdm or bmsd… dun rembr - is those lettra tho!) is popular enough thad jus sayin thad general thng is lik “yea, thads fair”
ehh any kink, no matter how common, can be shamed
like foot fetish is really common but people still find it very weird, just like bdsm
i guess your group of people might just be more open about kinks
You ok? Sounds like you’re having a bit of a stroke there…Ah, I see now. I had a chance to go through Smorty’s comment / post history. New Lemmy lore discovered
Smorty is a staple of the Lemmy community. Sure they can talk a little different but we gotta love the weirdos too.
she’s ok, she just writes like that
funi u say dis, i made a post beforehand for peeps exactli like u.
i am nt boring anymor, i hav ascended the “medium temperature” now. infact, i will mek a new one detailing exactli dis.
whadis it?
A gif.
ooooooh ur right - yea.,… i didn see it animate >v< my mistake
Don’t you dare change for anyone, smorty! Unless it’s something that you really want.
