Is it blasting though when she then turns it against herself? She’s actually asking what it is that makes her need outside validation to feel good.
How do you DO that?
I don’t need validation from other people to be happy. Hope this helped.
It’s funny. I got a promotion a bit ago and I announced happily to my family that my career progression has ended for good.
I don’t want to grow in responsibility, in don’t want to work extra hours, I don’t want to study for work, I don’t want to “network”.
If yearly rises somewhat follow the cost of living (relatively common in my workplace), I don’t even want to job hop.
I want to cruise at work and live my life.
Some still don’t understand because “line go up” mentality.
“How dare you be satisfied with your lot and content with who you are???”
Exactly. His natural predisposition is to be happy and hers is to be miserable. Sadly, her miserable is probably stomping out his happy
Dated someone like this. She needed constant external validation. Had self-esteem issues. Narcissistic. Never satisfied. Extreme anxiety. Separation anxiety. Hot and cold all the time. Always hopping from new infatuation to the next.
I was already deep in corporate and she couldn’t understand why I was content when I found something stable. We split when I got tired of the constant cheating and dumped her. Everything was a pissing contest and she always had to win. She was furious I dumped her first, even.
She’s successful now but still never content. Found out she was bipolar which explains so much from the past.
Have a friend same kinda deal. Not the cheating thing but is poly so it’s a vibe. Grew up poor, got a degree decent job decent pay. The MOMENT she got stable she wanted to go back to school for a doctorate. Student loans, stressing herself out to high hell. Current events got her having mega breakdowns cuz her field is affected. Broke again. The cycle continues
Edit: also bipolar…clearly
Did we date the same person?
Hah, you never know. She does go through partners at an incredible rate.
If you actually read the post, she’s not “blasting” her husband. She’s seeing him be perfectly content without chasing all those markers of career success, and questioning why she cannot do the same. She’s realising that she relies on external validation to feel happy, and that that’s not a good thing.
It’s the literal definition of a humblebrag though. Or at the very least, worded in a bait-ey way to try and get attention from appearing to be controversial. If you strip away the style and fluff from the post, then yes you can read it in the way you’re saying. But that controversial-ness is clearly intentional.
At the most charitable, it’s a failed attempt at humor. The less charitable read is that the second half of the post is just providing some plausible deniability to her being yet another insufferable Linkedin self-promoter.
Yeah she doesn’t speak bad about him for it. She does pose the question at the end to others if it would change their views of people they knew if they didn’t want those types of accomplishments though. She doesn’t answer if it does for herself necessarily, so there is not really any clear answer. It’s pointless to analyse.
That’s the kind of people who constantly change positions, switch projects, get promoted etc. The success of the projects depends on stable people like her husband.
These people in the comments are so fragile.
Holy shit. That dude needs to run as fast as he can away from that and towards a puppy that will help him delete facebook and hit the gym.
This is LinkedInLunatics. I think she deserves to be Queen here.
“There is so much to unpack and learn from an exchange like this.”
Yeah, no kidding.
Husband’s probably regretting some life decisions right about now, and I guarantee they’re not related to his not getting any awards or certifications.
Given that this is a self-promoting self-appointed CEO of a Virginia based IT consulting firm with… very few employees, idk, man. The “husband” in this non-exchange seems like a prop for marketing material.
The last line says it all. She’s just selling certification training. None of this is sincere.
Seems like a shitty way to sell certifications because like yeah I would be perfectly fine going a year without getting a certification. Do you have imposter syndrome that bad that you need to waste money in order to feel competent?
It got reposted, which is all that really matters. I’m sure there’s some Girlboss middle manager by way of Microsoft or Amazon or Langley who will click with this.
Do you have imposter syndrome that bad that you need to waste money in order to feel competent?
This could easily have been chucked out with ChatGPT alongside a dozen other A/B tested solicitation strategies under other accounts with different Avis and company names.
You can’t take any of this at face value. Is this company real or is it just a shell to wrangle business for an offshore bulk cert program? Is this profile real or is it a front for a bunch of hustlers in a boiler room? Is this conversation real or is it just some scripted nonsense intended to grab your attention?
I’m betting it’s fake top to bottom. Six workers in Indonesia cranked it out along with a thousand other profiles during a 12 hour $20 shift. Responding to it would be as wise as answering a call to Scam Likely and immediately blurting out your SSN.
Pretty sure the “you” in the post you’re responding to is the “you as in one as in some hypothetical person” and not “you as in UnderpantsWeevil” – perhaps not but I’ve definitely been in this change where I use “you” instead of “one” and had people jump all over me for attacking the op.
Wouldn’t be surprised if all this crap is being written by ChatGPT nowadays with no input from a real person.
Now thinking about it, LunaticdIn seems like the most fertile ground for AI to take over with this sort of bullshit.
The title of this post is misleading. She’s not blasting her husband. She’s wondering why she can’t be content without these things.
Could you go a year without a single new certification, interview, award, promotion, and be OK with yourself for it?
No but I have ADHD and collect knowledge like trading cards in an attempt to appease the screaming boredom. Wonder what got her all twisted up?
Lol I have ADHD and Im the same. Love learning something new even when it has no real use to me.
Probably needs a dicking down
That doesn’t read as much as blasting her husband as it does as blasting herself.
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Yeah I read it the same way too. That being said, this woman probably needs a therapist more than LinkedIn, but I guess that’s why this community is called LinkedInLunatics
I didn’t pick this for its grounded view on reality.
Yes, but it reads more to the tone of “my greatest weakness is I am too successful”, like it’s more about bragging about herself than it is actually being introspective.
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Reread the post, this person^ is right
The lunacy part is posting this to LinkedIn rather than discussing in private with a therapist.
She’s sharing something she struggles with because she believes other women may struggle with it as well and knowing you’re not alone is help in and of itself. It isn’t even something that personal. The only lunacy I see here is all the comments that insist sharing your feelings is lunacy.
Nah, I mean, sharing this on LinkedIn is basically a “humble brag”, LinkedIn is all about marketing yourself as a professional brand. If she needed an outlet she’d discuss this with a friend, a coworker, or even an actual social media platform. It’s basically like “I can’t stop crushing goals, my husband is content just existing, is there something wrong with me? Why am I such a beast? Why is he content being lame? Anyone else feel this or am I in a minority of overachievers?”
Not even bringing up the fact that this is very publicly scrutinizing her husband, or at the least, airing out her laundry. I’d be furious if someone shared a private, intimate conversation just to make a point for social media validation. But then again, I’m a pretty private person.
I think if she was actually crushing her goals, she’d do so in silence. That’s what most overachievers actually do.
Nope. It’s doesn’t seem like that at all. Sounds like you’re unable to see other people’s perspectives, though.
LinkedIn is not a venue for discussion though. Only people born into extreme wealth have the privilege of saying anything other than “I love corporations 😍” on their LinkedIn profile.
It’s not meant to be a discussion. She’s just looking for peers that may feel the way she does because sometimes a “me too” is enough. I have no idea what the rest of your comment is trying to say.
What I read: I require external validation instead of finding it from within.
Realistically all these achievements mean nothing when you die and are forgotten. It doesn’t necessarily invalidate the work and accomplishments but I’d argue it doesn’t give an individual the “higher ground” to belittle a partner on social media; they may not value it the same.
I require external validation instead of finding it from within.
I am not on LinkedIn, but from the outside this seems to be the trend there.
Where is the belittling?
Is this a rhetorical question? Or does this comes down to perspective? For the latter I would explain it as me seeing contempt from this person’s messaging around their partner seeming OK with not achieving things she defines as important. She then takes, what I would consider a personal conversation, to social media for what I can only assume is support from like-minded people to validate her.
TL;DR the premise itself is belittling
Is it? It seems more introspective than anything. She acknowledges her initial confusion at his contentment despite not achieving those things, then turns right around to ask why she herself has trouble finding contentment that way. She only really brings up the “belittling” comments to immediately subvert them.
She lives to work
He works to live
Tune in for the next season of Never Happy
Or she grew up in a society where women have to overachieve in order to get the same recognition as men and now she struggles with a need for external validation like many other women.
This must be doubly as true for sectors like IT.
I think I just learned how to understand my wife a little better.
regardless of sex, anyone making this claim is clearly broken inside. kinda sad.
Right? I feel like this is so obviously not about sex & my life is a clear example to that.
For context, I’m a trans woman who works in tech.
Five and a half years ago I was miserable as hell from relying on external validation. I’d never been happy with my birth sex, but I’d stuck it out for years, duct-taping my happiness together with academic or career achievements, working myself to the bone just to achieve some degree of stability at the cost of my mental health, relationships, happiness, sex life, etc.
For all intents and purposes, I was treated by society as male during that era of my life… albeit of the gay sort of feminine and very depressed variety. I also had a laundry list of accomplishments each year and could not fathom being happy with myself unless I collected them all like pokemon.
Sex changes are like the world’s most opposite thing to external validation. I went from being a white cis male to… well look at what society thinks of trans women. There have been many many times in the past half-decade in which I felt like I’d jumped off a cliff, that I might lose my career, that I’d struggle harder to get ahead, that I wouldn’t be taken seriously anymore.
And some of that was true—I definitely deal with misogyny and transphobia now in a way I never would’ve before. I do feel I have to perform 2x better than before in order to achieve the same sorts of recognition… and I have to now for some reason look good doing it (whereas before I could basically ignore my body, wallow in dysphoria/depression, and still be given credit).
But… what have I done career-wise during the past 5 years? I’ve flatlined. Honestly? I “met expectations” for a half-decade straight. No awards, no accolades, just “did that thing and went home.” I was too busy both emotionally and practically with a whole freaking sex change outside of work. And nobody has come to eat me, even though at this phase of my life most coworkers don’t even know I was once male. Heck, if anything, I look at a lot of my cis female peers and they’re having kids which (unfortunately/unfairly) amounts to practically the same thing.
Before my sex change this would have been unthinkable to me. My entire happiness and sense of identity was pinned to my career. And that was was literally THE duct tape on the joke that was my life. The thing I only way I could manage to keep myself male. Literally the biggest lesson career-wise that my sex change has taught me is that it’s okay to have eras in your life where your career just vibes for a bit while you short your shit out.
So… I just don’t think this is a male vs. female thing. It’s a running away from oneself and trying to cope with your misery via external validation thing. It IS true that when you’re read as female you DO have to push ahead. Chances are, similar to how I felt I had to alienate myself for my career in order to get to a place where I could afford a sex change, this woman felt she had to do the same in order to establish herself as a woman in tech. The barrier to entry is higher.
But once you’re there and established it’s like, girl you can chill now, it’s gonna be fine if you’re fine, maybe with a bit more stability and a bit less pay.
