There’s more than one. I saw one of them lately, she’s doing good. We talked and hugged. That felt good, a little closure.
Mostly I don’t know since I am so bad with people and they stay the fuck away from me which, good for them.
There’s some I really grieve for. The things I couldn’t do. The things I was too bad at.
I hope all of them are better than I am.
My high school boyfriend who I fell in love with when I was 12. The trouble was he was 16, and then I was 14 and he was 18, and at the time I didn’t understand what the problem was. We had a brief moment together when I was 14 and he 17, and nobody but the two of us has ever been so in love. Never felt anything like that in my life again, it was like a . But then I was too young and he got kicked out of his parents house and moved away. I caught up with him on Facebook by accident, and he was this lovely smart pleasant progressive person who loved Obama and Trudeau. I quit Facebook for a while and when I went back he was a Trump Qanon psycho despite being Canadian, albeit born in the US. It’s like seeing someone catch leprosy or something. Like they had a brain infection and came out with a totally different personality. I am way more left than Obama and Trudeau, but he at least reasonably believed in progressive politics. Suddenly he was an antimasker making shitty comments about trans people. Obviously I ended up dodging a bullet because that’s a no go for me, but I never felt such pure love in my life as I did for him and it hurt terribly to see him become this lunatic even if we weren’t together.
The far-left to far-right pipeline is wild.
It’s like they had no ideological consistency in the first place.
He was not at any time far left.
Or, you could have been the one to keep him sane.
The power of love is the most powerful power of all
Never really had the chance to get off the ground. But I really truly loved him. I couldn’t eat or sleep the feeling was so strong, and it was the same for him.
They all got away. I don’t know how any of them turned out; because I disappeared and became lost.
Hah, relatable
I’ve been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My “ones that got away” were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should’ve seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.
Anyways, it’s not like an active desire I have. I’m really lucky - I’m married to a great guy, and I truly believe I’ve chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I’ve met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn’t taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.
If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that’s gonna judge you isn’t worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you’ve got your whole adult life to be serious.
Maybe it’s how I’m wired (I’m demi) or because I did get it out of my system, but I find the sentiment confusing. I know of several friends who’ve had way more partners and hookups than me, but they still seem to feel unsatisfied. Like they regret not doing even more.
Maybe there is a magic number that one can hit that leads to a satisfying sexual history, but from the outside it looks to me like a type of dysphoria - that is, of the people I’m thinking of, I don’t believe they’ll ever feel complete.
Married 20 years and also a serial monogamist and this is great advice IMO.
I don’t have a “one that got away” either and I’m madly in love with my wife but yeah… I definitely could have had more fun. Get out there.
I saw her crossing the street (not at a crosswalk). Beautiful, confident, zero fucks given, I was immediately in love. I debated pulling over and seeing if I could go back and find her, but it happened too fast and there was no good road to turn onto. Oh well, even though she didn’t have a collar, she probably already had a home…
had me in the first half…
Last I know, she’s living a successful life doing what she wanted to do. Good for her.
I got her back about a year or two later. She’s currently about 1m to my right, and now that 15 years have passed we share a house with four kids and two cats.
… So she didn’t get away?
Kind of. For a while she did. I moved abroad, and we both concluded that chapter to be over. A couple of years down the road I was visiting the old country (passportrenewal, iirc), and I happened to run into her the day before I was supposed to fly home. But then this volcano erupted, grounding all flights in Northern Europe for a while, and during this extra time we ended up picking up the thread where we left it.
People always talk about looking for the silver linings, and here you are finding love in part because of a major disaster. Good for you!
The one that got away is currently posting this comment.
She was a he when I wanted him. Came out as transgender a few years after.
Cool gal, tho.
I’m in my 50’s. I have had 3 that got away (2+ years living together). I get along with them famously. They are doing good-great, probably because we never got to life-partner stage. I’m not perfect by any means, so our non-matching characteristics, and my inability, then, to understand mutual acceptance then would have probably soured things long-term. Great memories and lived experiences. Nobody can take that from us.
My ex wife and mother of kids and I had 8 great years. 4 OK, and 4 crap years. We can barely communicate now.
Not sure where she is. She was smarter than me and never really got into the social media thing when it was starting and so nearly twenty years later, I’ve not been able to find a trace of her in terms of social media presence.
She was very much a hippie. But not in a run around barefoot with flowers in her hair doing LSD hippie. Just more in a sense of really down to earth and loved doing things like making soap, or being out in nature. Just really not materialistic at all. Which I appreciated at the time, but something happened, she misunderstood my reaction to it and left me with the belief that she was crazy. And maybe she was, but I should have handled it better and explained things to her in a way that could have kept us together. But that’s life I guess.
I wish I could’ve been better for her. But, I couldn’t and I guess if she’s happier now I’m happy for her too.
There was one friend who got away. She was single when we met through a common friend group,but she got together with one of my best friends. And while we were close, neither of us overstepped any boundaries. When she later ended that relationship she moved away for Uni. We hooked up a few times after that, but it was always more of a “drunken/desperate” hookup the day after - or that was what we, especially her, tried to tell ourselves,not wanting to risk our friendship.
I moved abroad, married (she was there), got a kid, couldn’t be happier. She is successful,but I don’t know more about her - she basically cut all contact after we met (for a normal coffee) and I had my kid with me…
Tbh, I still miss her a lot, especially as a friend, but sometimes I also wonder “what if”.
I had a huge crush on my god parent’s (friends of the family, not actual family) daughter growing up. I asked her to marry me when I was, like, 8 (she was like 16 at the time iirc)? She got married years ago and I was actually wondering about how she’s doing the other day; but I don’t know how to contact her.
I know it sounds kind of corny, but when I met her I physically fell for her. She was sitting on a desk and I tripped over an extension cord in front of her. We knew of each other but we never really talked until that day. She laughed and asked for my number and from then on we hung out everyday. Eventually, I realized that I was happy just being with her. I’d dream about her, I’d think about her, I’d want to see her. But, I kept it all quiet until we both graduated. We hung out afterwards when we both moved to the same city for different university’s and I couldn’t be happier. But, we still weren’t together. Then, I moved to another city, she stayed, I eventually confessed but she was going through an identity crisis and wasnt sure if she was into me anymore. Then 6 years passed with no closure. We reconnected through a mutual friend and laid everything out. I told her I fell in love with her. She told me she felt bad for how things ended. And, we decided to just be acquiantences and leave everything behind. I’m trying to forget her completely but even to this day I think about her. We talk briefly once a year or something for work mainly but I still love her. She’s still in the same city we both moved to for Uni but other than that, I don’t know too much about her anymore.
