A guy in our data center couldn’t figure out who owned a particular machine that he needed to work on. So his solution to figure it out was to let them come to him. He went and pulled out the network cable and waited. He was escorted out a little while later. The moral of the story is don’t go disabling production machines on purpose.
Honestly we do that when we ask and no one speaks up. Lovingly called the “scream test” as we wait to see who screams.
I guess it depends on where you work. This was a large datacenter for a very large health insurance company. They made it a point later that day to remind people that it was a fireable offense to mess with production machines like that on purpose. And evidently the service he disabled was critical enough that it didn’t take long for the hammer to come down. There were plenty of ways to find out who owned the machine, he just chose the easiest and got fired on the spot for it.
So it wasn’t accurate when you said he “couldn’t” figure it out.
Well I am not him, so I can’t tell you whether or not he actually “could” have figured it out. The options to figure it out did exist, but he chose not to use them giving it the appearance that he “couldn’t”. Are you this much fun at parties?
He couldn’t figure it out, a competent person could have without unplugging it.
Scream tests are a last resort though.
Sounds like it was a last resort if he “couldn’t figure out” whose machine it was.
I don’t understand how that is even possible.
Are there no logs? No documentation? Does everyone share an admin user with full rights?
I mean, there has to be a way to find out who accessed the machine last time.You’d be surprised with inheriting tech debt. Quite often there’s no documentation, the last person to log in to the system is an admin that quit 3 years ago, but it doesn’t much matter because that’s only for a direct console login which normal users don’t do when accessing the application. With tribal knowledge gone and no documentation, only when you pull the network for a bit do you discover that there was this one random script running on it that was responsible for loading up all the needed data in the current system, when 9 of the other 10 times those scripts were no longer needed.
In a perfect world you’d have documentation, architecture and data flow diagrams for everything, but “ain’t nobody got time for that” and it doesn’t happen.
Had that the other way around recently. A docker container failed to come back up after I had updated the host OS.
Was about ready to restore the snapshot, when I looked further back in the logs on a hunch.
Turns out that container hadn’t worked before the update either. The software’s developer is long gone, and no one could tell me what it was supposedly doing.
company a gets bought by company b. company b fires 50% of company a.
even a scream test won’t get you answers because nobody is around that could complain nor know where the docs are.
You’d be surprised. I had some security devices that I was actively using get shut down simply because some paperwork didn’t get filled out properly and the data center team claimed they had no documentation on them.
I read that as “lazy to the point of unprofessionalism”. I’m super lazy too, but it just means I try to automate the absolute shit out of everything I do to the greatest degree possible.
Where I worked we had a very important time sensitive project. The server had to do a lot of calculations on a terrain dataset that covered the entire planet.
The server had a huge amount of RAM and each calculation block took about a week. It could not be saved until the end of the calculation and only that server had the RAM to do the work. So if it went down we could lose almost a weeks work.
Project was due in 6 months and calculation time was estimated to be about 5 1/2 months. So we couldn’t afford any interruptions.
We had bought a huge UPS meant for a whole server rack. For this one server. It could keep the server up for three days. That way even if wet lost power over the weekend it would keep going and we would have time to buy a generator.
One Friday afternoon the building losses power and I go check on the server room. Sure enough the big UPS with a sign saying only for project xyz has a bunch of other servers plugged into it.
I quickly unplug all but ours. I tell my boss and we go home at 5. Latter that day the power comes back on.
On Monday there are a ton of departments bitching that they came in an their servers were unplugged. Lots of people wanted me fired. My boss backed me and nothing happened but it was stressful.
I’d be super gluing those plastic toddler plug covers all over that thing.
fuck those other departments.
At a startup a long time ago, I was working on the weekend and brought my 3 year old with me. We had a customer coming in next week and this one machine was 5 days into a 7 day model build.
We had to go into that office to help someone with something unrelated. The little shit saw the blinking light and headed straight for the button.
On this computer (HP 710), it didn’t shut off until you released the button. He actually was just pressing it but got spooked when I tried to get to it.
The next day our CEO told the guys that built that app that it had to be made so it could recover from crashes and restart from where it left off.
Yeah, I’ve done that before – after asking literally everyone in IT, plus our external consultants, and getting the go-ahead from my team lead and the head of IT.
If you fear reprisal for a scream test then you need to make it look like an accident.
Guy in my department strolls into my office and says, “Welp, this is probably my last day working here.” I asked him why he would say that. He sits down and shoves his phone across the desk toward me. I start reading and it’s an email from him to the CEO complaining that our boss is, in so many words, a complete fucking moron.
I finished reading and was just like, “Yeah, you shouldn’t have done that.” I mean, he wasn’t wrong. I agreed with basically everything in his email. He was also right about it being his last day working there because he was fired that afternoon.
We had a guy that would email the CEO with audio or video of him singing or something. Good dude. Sold people eggs every week from his hens. Got fired for actual bullshit his lead should’ve been canned for.
What eventually happened to the boss?
Nothing. As far as I know he’s still there. That company was a raging dumpster fire.
This sounds a lot like a company I’ve worked at honestly.
Hmmmmm. Been thinking about starting a youtube channel. Maybe ballads to the CEO could be the theme. I wonder how long before I get called in by hr.
This guy in the warehouse made a deal with another guy to sell his porn collection. So he brings it in one day in a big cardboard box and leaves it sitting in the coat room with the top open, you could see X-rated stuff just walking by. Someone says something to management and the box gets confiscated, but they don’t know who it belongs to so that’s pretty much the end of it. Until our hero goes and files a complaint about the theft of his property.
Did both parties involved in the transaction get fired?
I think the other guy got a warning but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t fired
Working on a boat. We got a new shipmate who had worked there on previous seasons, most of us didn’t know him but he was good friends with another member of the crew. The day he got in the two of them spent the night catching up and getting absolutely trashed. Night ended with new guy stumbling in to the cook’s cabin and pissing right on the cook while he was sleeping. New guy was fired that morning without having worked a single day.
Hopeful ship was at shore still at the time? Would suck to be fired while out at sea. Awkward ride back.
We were in Puerto Rico for our winter maintenance period, just starting to bring on crew for the sailing season. I’ve never worked on a boat where people drink underway and I don’t think I’d want to.
On boats you usually don’t get told you’re fired until you reach port.
Mike would walk into random meetings that he didn’t belong in, lay his head on the table, and knock out. Snored loud as fuck. He did this in my meetings alone at least three times a week.
He’d be found sleeping in the driver seat of his car about once a day too, clocking hours.
I saw the dude sneak up on a lot of people and assault them. Smack mens asses, rub women’s shoulders, he put this catholic nerd in a chokehold and whispered “security can’t help you here, n****” and then let him go.
He’d talk about how sick work from home was, how he’d just play NBA2K and Tekken all day, work on his car, sleep, and get paid.
Homie worked with us for like 3 or 4 months before he got fired. When he left, I got assigned his work. He had one ticket. It was three months old, and it was to update some software on our platform from vX to vX+1. It took me three minutes.
Dude was reading comic books at his desk the entire time he was there. He was really living the dream for a minute, I heard after he got fired that he moved from computers to car mechanic.
How did that take more than 3 months? Surely he should have been noticed within a week…
My company is small enough that it doesn’t legally need HR.
Nobody to report him to except the company owners who didn’t care for a while
This doesn’t sound like the dream to me at all
Guy was having fun being a menace, and making 6-figures.
He would also record/take pictures of girls he’d meet online, and show off their nudes to people at work. And complain about paying child support. Gross ass dude.
He was hired on the recommendation of an already existing (seemingly normal) employee. Once mike got fired, his recommender immediately ““quit”” before they could also get fired
WFH with video games, and watching Office Space and Fight Club a little too literally.
When I was in the military, two officers got caught fucking in a stairwell. They were caught by a security camera while attending training. They were both married and not to each other.
There is so much stupid shit that you can get away with in the military, I have never understood why anyone would even get close to breaking the fraternization rules. They literally give you a copy of the rulebook in boot camp! Did no one read the damn thing?
I was a Nuke though, so up to my neck in daily fires to put out. No time for a social life.
Unhinged entry level employee screaming and swearing and threatening the CFO and spit in her coffee mug.
An email went out to the whole company telling us not to let him in the building before he even got back to his desk to be fired. This is a software company, not exactly the type of place that has armed guards, but the (ex-military) information security dude set up in the area packing for a few weeks after that.
Hope the info sec guy got some hazard bonus. Doubt he/she would ask for it though.
A guy on my team was absolutely convinced the external monitors he had were 1080p and not 1680*1050 resolution, and that everyone else using 1680*1050 were just wrong. He got into an argument with IT service desk over HDMI cables, which he wanted to prove himself correct (since everyone else were supposedly chumps for accepting the tyranny of having to use DVI cables for their monitors, thus forcing them to use the lower resolution). The argument escalated and well, he kind of just disappeared after that and never came back.
The IT service desk folks were already touchy about their HDMI cables since people were apparently stealing them for use in the meeting rooms.
Pity, I liked him but that was kind of unhinged. Besides, the monitors’ native res was definitely 1680*1050 lol.
We had a new group in from another regional site come for training.
It turned out the one was actively also a prostitute. She was freely distributing her social media, showing people videos of herself, and asking us where the secluded parts of the campus were so she could do her thing with some of the scientists.
She didn’t do very much actual work, or at least not what she was supposed to be doing there. I give her credit for seeming to be very proud of her side gig. She seemed to really enjoy it. I think she just eventually stopped coming in after they went back to their own site, so maybe she did find herself a scientist.
Definitely the wildest person I’ve ever worked with.
there should be a study on workplace efficiency that includes sexual gratification vs not.
Good heavens, I’d hate to see which co-worker I’d get paired with! That’s some type of Russian Roulette! 🤣🤢
meet Delores, she’s here to ensure you’re satisfied with your job.
Lol she might possibly be an upgrade!
It’s no nutley, but it’ll do
There was a guy who was in tech support who talked to a customer about who was hot or not in the company. It was actually the customer who started the conversation, but the rep ran with it and used all kinds of unprofessional and disparaging language when describing his female co-workers.
That call happened to have a supervisor listening in, so he was fired immediately after he got off the call. The thing is found out who called in, and the women on the team had to assist him when he called for support.
Not crazy, just sad.
Middle of the day, sitting at our desks working. This middle aged guy who was usually happy as Larry gets up and leaves the office leaving his stuff behind. Not a word said. I just assumed he was getting a coffee or something.
End of the day rolls around, stuff still there. Same thing the next day. Still there the next week.
People start asking what happened to him, but the agency he was working through kept telling us he’s coming back soon.
Over a month later, someone packs up his stuff and puts it in the bin. The guy was never coming back, turns out he went left and ended his own life the day he walked out. Never made it home.
The agency apparently only found out he was dead a few weeks after the incident, then strung us along so they could find a replacement. We terminated their contract and offered the handful of other employees jobs.
———
Another job, we had a new guy start. Very conventionally attractive and he seemed normal enough.
A few weeks later one of the women complained to HR that someone was stalking her. She was getting ‘flattering’ letters, emails, notes etc and they often contained information and photos in/about/around her work. Flattering, but not something she was comfortable with
Few weeks later, we’re told new guy won’t be coming back due to inappropriate behaviour.
Woman had to get a restraining order against the guy. In a twist of irony, she said that if the guy had just talked to her, she would have gone on a date with him in a heartbeat.
Dishwasher was a legit creep. Proved management inaction took almost a year to get rid of them.
Jacked 5 ft 5 black guy.
Would talk extremely close to female servers. One time parked someone in and kept asking them questions like where you live etc. Talked about his jail time openly. Would get angry and just yell in the dish pit. One time said “hey what’s that other car in your driveway” to a woman.
The ex gang member who taught me to cook said he was the kind of guy who enjoyed the gay in jail. Institutionalized to a degree. Was a dish washing machine.
Hit on my boyfriend and would look down his shirt, be like look good in them jeans etc. In same month would emotionally abuse him to tears.
One time recall going up to him and saying someone was obviously not interested because she was new, visibly scared with him next to her when she was just trying to prep. People could hear him yell at me from the dining area, but after that he was different in a good way with me. Typical abuser workplace shit that thrived on inaction. Could have killed me if he wanted of course.
Bizarre man. Forget why he was finally let go but everyone breathed a little easier…
Until the woman with BPD started lol
I had a dishwasher throw a chef’s knife at my head once
Ooo shit.
We fortunately new had anyone overtly violent.
Meth in the bathroom after we started using an agency to fill shifts shifts.
At the time I didn’t even think anything of it. It just clattered against the wall next to my head and I was a teenager and I just went back to work. In my 40s now and that guy and I would have serious words. Can’t believe how trivially I treated my own safety back then
Classic kitchen employee right there.
Dude brought a sex worker into his fiber splicing trailer and the boat was a-rockin’ when the supervisor came knockin’.
Help desk guy caught jerking off at his desk by a female employee, which he had apparently been doing for a while without a whole lot of cleanup, further investigation uncovered.
His keyboard, mouse, desk, floor mat, and chair were disposed of as hazmat. Monitor and PC were e-cycled.
I guess he needed a helping hand since he was coming on the help desk so much.
I used to work tech support for a company that made a product which involved sharing live or recorded videos. We would use the same instance for testing and troubleshooting, which occasionally involved broadcasting live videos.
One morning, I signed on to look for something or other, and I saw that one of my co-workers (who was working from home) had a live feed. His camera was pointed straight at his crotch and he was going at it quite vigorously. I deleted the feed and I don’t know if he ever even knew what happened.
Honestly I’d probably do the same. He’s at home, and I don’t need that drama in my work life.
Didn’t need a perfectly good coworker fired because he didn’t realize his camera was on.
Stories like that are why my webcam shutter is closed AND it’s unplugged until I need it.
Ain’t nobody seeing me unless I go through the effort to hook it up.
We had an A/P manager who chewed her way through 3 entire staffs before management decided the problem was actually her. Two of them collectively quit in a group on one day! That was the most outrageous I think. How did it take FIFTEEN people quitting because of her management before they fired her?
Also one manager who came in shitface drunk and swinging when she got fired. That was the most dramatic.
Figured this out some time back. Firing a manager is an admission of failure by someone even higher.
Not always. Some people change once they get power, I’ve seen 2 supervisors go that way. Awesome co-workers, cunts to work under.
Also, not everyone that is good at a job has the personality to be in management. I’ve found myself in several management roles before I realized I absolutely hate being responsible for other peoples’ work and am just not cut out for it.
I use those people that I used to work with as a “what not to do” guide.
Sometimes I want to say to staff “You keep up shit like this and you wont have a job much longer” but I remember how fast people turned on that guy, so instead I have a sit down with them and say “I cant keep not reporting this stuff, its going to risk MY job. So I need you to lift your game because we’re friends and all but I’m not going to get fired to protect you and once I start reporting it up the chain, I cant fo anything to protect you”
I like your approach much better.
This is true and I’ve seen it. However, I still think that it’s possible someone above didn’t want to acknowledge that they were a bad read of character. That’s how it felt in the situation I saw firsthand anyway.
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