‘Kiss My Ass’: Ted Cruz, a Newsmax Host, and a Group Of Fellas Walk Into a Bar… - eviltoast

My god are these people stupid.

“Doctors say we shouldn’t do this but they’re just woke liberals, so we’re going to do this to spite them!”

  • SpaceBar@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Replace their beer with a cigarette, go back in time, and you’ll see these street theater performers putting on the same act.

    These types railed against every change. Leaded gas. Seat belts. Catalytic converters. Smoking. The clean air act. Vegetables (seriously)… it’s insane how half the country gets pissed at anything different.

    • riodoro1@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Conservatives are (in every pejorative meaning of the word) retarded.

      They are the ones who should bear this insult because it actually describes their dumb unwillingness to betterment of any kind.

  • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    “What is it with liberals that want to control every damn aspect of your life?”

    The party of Don’t Say Gay and Abortion Is Murder expect me to think that it’s the liberals who want to exert control over my life?

    one of the first things they wanted to do was ban gas stoves

    Not true. Cruz is (probably intentionally) conflating two different Republican talking points here. The New York State issue mentioned here involves preventing the use of gas stoves with inadequate exhaust that leak illness-inducing gasses into upstairs living spaces, and even then people can get exemptions for this. The changes at the federal level are for making stoves more energy efficient. This can only help consumers.

    They’re trying to go after and regulate ceiling fans.

    They’ve proposed more energy efficient ceiling fan criteria for manufacturers. This can only help consumers.

    now these idiots have come out and said drink two beers a week, that’s their guideline.

    These “idiots” are an organization built around reducing alcoholism. I don’t think they’re idiots for suggesting that drinking more alcohol leads to more alcohol dependence. I also think it’s probably not fair to categorize this org as liberal. It was created by Richard Nixon in 1970. It also has no executive or legislative capabilities as far as I can tell. It only reports information to the government and citizens. A “guideline” from the NIAAA is not a law and does not represent any amount of control over people’s lives.

    Ted Cruz is a liar of the highest order. Newsmax is raw, uncut fascist propaganda. The only way to believe this shit is to be completely braindead, unwilling to do the 15 minutes of basic googling that I just did to form this comment, and unable to accept that the world they believe they live in doesn’t align with reality.

    • jettrscga@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yeah the ceiling fan part was a pretty wild random addition. It’s so farfetched to think anyone might prevent you from having a ceiling fan, but I’m willing to bet some angry Texan is yelling about it as we speak.

  • Ethalis@jlai.lu
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    1 year ago

    And this, gentlepeople, is the definition of toxic masculinity

    • Billiam@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Well, toxic behavior anyway. I don’t think you could ever use any variation of the word “masculine” to describe Ted “What if Wolverine had flaccid penises instead of claws?” Cruz.

  • PenIsland@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So brave. Edgelords would complain about a PROPOSED RECOMMENDATION but had to qualify drinking a non-alcoholic beer on camera. So very very brave.

    • Miqo@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      And the shit about ceiling fans… Those new regulations are a win for everyone but shitty bootleg fan makers. No one is trying to “take their ceiling fans away,” this is about making them better and cheaper. But, of course they hate that, too. If Biden said, “stop running your A/C with all of your windows open,” Ted would complain about that next.

      • Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Hell, I can even make it a conservative talking point: “This will prevent cheap Chinese-made fans that waste American’s hard-earned money and don’t work from flooding the market and provide good jobs right here at home.”

        Put on a hard hat and give a speech at the Big Ass Fans factory and you’re golden.

    • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Doesn’t Colbert occasionally have a glass of whiskey on stage? I don’t think he’s implied its fake either.

  • Zombiepirate@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Trust me, nobody will complain if you give yourself liver disease, Ted.

    Have a casefull of wood alcohol on me. Doctors really hate this stuff, because it makes you go blind.

  • Ranvier@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    Librul doctor’s say regular alcohol use is dangerous? Well screw em I’m gonna drink until my liver fails, I get dangerous alcohol withdrawal seizures, I get a severe neuropathy and can’t even walk, and my brain gives out suddenly with wernicke korsakoff syndrome and I lose all ability to form new memories. Ain’t no Librul doctor’s job to tell me about health risks, I want to live in ignorance until it all goes horribly wrong then yell about how no one told me this could happen.

  • Uniquitous@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    I, a woke liberal, strongly recommend that they do not drink a glass of bleach with a Drano chaser. In fact I forbid them to do so.

  • ThrowawayOnLemmy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    No one is going to stop you from drinking yourself to death, Ted. In fact, I bet many a people will actively encourage it.

  • Veedem@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Man, these folks just get mad about everything. It’s a recommendation, not a law, you idiots.

  • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Doctors also recommend you don’t punch yourself in the face really hard, Ted. If we could make it a law, Ted, we would absolutely make it illegal for you to punch yourself in the face really hard, but because you’re a Senator, Ted, we can’t becauae you love freedom too much to let us stop you. Grrr, I sure wish we could force you to not punch yourself in the face really hard. I just get so mad that I can’t stop you, Ted Cruz, Junior Senator from Texas, from punching yourself right in the face as hard as you can. I might almost cry about it.

  • RunningInRVA@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Why isn’t anybody talking about that gaggle of overweight and under-educated hillbillies he is standing in front of?