Our chef has a man bun, a very well-groomed long beard, a facial piercing, wears black apron, and black gloves
But he’s passed out in the back, so this teenagers gonna slap your burger together.
But a black & white stencil print of him is the cover of our menu.
The bartender makes and sells his own line of beard balm. The waitress wears overalls and a bandanna on her head and she’s just so fucking done.
If I were to start my own fast food business, I would make my food cheap as fuck and deliberately target locations that have:
- A sixth form or university campus nearby. Students are a big market.
- Nearby pubs or nightclubs. Doesn’t have to be a city centre, could be a local high street. The main intent would be to target the late night crowd.
People care about speed, cost and not eating something that will give them food poisoning, not gourmet food. The luxury market is oversaturated and we have anything but the luxury to do that often.
Also, if it’s a sufficiently large eat-in location like a diner, maintaining toilet facilities that don’t look like they’ve been vandalized is important too.
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Damn, nailed it, perfect synopsis!
Exactly this, gotten into it recently and seen first hand the costs balloon up fast
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The business model you are describing is perfect for a food truck.
They usually aren’t happy when I take a shit inside our local food trucks. They keep telling me it’s unsanitary but I always insist that a restaurant must allow its patrons fair use of their toilet facilities.
Fast food + college kids , good idea.
Fast food + drunk college kids, not so much.
As was suggested earlier, a food truck is the perfect solution. You’re not responsible for cleaning vomit.
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Throw in a fun clown mascot for the kids, and I think you’re on to something with this cheap fast food idea
I hate how this society has turned something as deeply emotional as cooking and turned it into a factory farm where people think burgers and hot dogs just magically appear with fairy magic.
Everything in life can be deeply emotional, just not for everybody.
That’s just like a food truck in my city with the BEST carne adovada nachos
Check out how successful Dick’s is in Washington. They have so many locations now. Their first location was Wallingford, Seattle. It’s about a 1 mile walk from the U district, where a lot of the college kids hang out. Now, Dick’s has a location in most major districts of Seattle, mostly around bars, and even outside of Seattle. They are cheap ($2.50 for a cheeseburger) and super fast because they don’t do customizations with a limited menu. Mostly window only walk up pick up, no dine in (except for the one outside the hockey stadium, but it’s standing only).
You’ve got the right idea.
It’s annoying that you can either choose between having a weedy shit burger that’s mostly lettuce and has to be held together with a stick, or eating a really expensive one and have to look at a load of wanker tat on the walls.
Also, you can stick your brioche buns up your arse. A brioche bun is not a load bearing bun. It dissolves in contact with moisture.
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Those guy knows his buns
hell yeah lemme get that pretzel bun SON! shit SLAPS
Kaiser Roll FTW
Kaiser crowd represent!
Hold on, a brioche bun can totally work! Toast the bun, put a little mayo on it, put the veggies on the bottom (at least the lettuce), and a regular-sized burger will hold up just fine.
Not saying it can’t go wrong, especially in a place that just wants the decor and the food to look good on Instagram even if it’s disappointing when you bite into it. But for burgers I’ve made, a brioche bun can be a nice option. :P
Also why do Americans like mixing sweet and salty. Here in Australia they have brioche buns everywhere now. I hate that crap, if you don’t have normal buns give me two slices of bread instead
Hipster burger restaurant starter pack.
And the main burger is called ‘the americano’ which is fatty, with too much cheese, and a sweet relish.
That does describe America pretty well though
“if i pay $50,000 for this hanging piece of flare, and only stay open from 4-10pm we can siphon money from money with our money from the people who have money. But our waiter? minimum wage, cameras in the back our head chef is a wanker from out of state who pretended to be something they are clearly not, and the wine? straight from my vineyard, with minimal staff, green card only workers and an ever living hate for anything that shows compassion or empathy. that’ll be $18 a glass of home wine and $38 for alfredo pasta add $8 for broccoli add $10 for chicken. what…what’s wrong this is just business.”
Also, let’s not use plates. How about a small metal pan, fryer basket, or wood plank that allows the food to scatter onto the table?
Is there an equivalent Lemmy community to r/wewantplates? I just realized how much I missed browsing that one.
Question for the audience: what city do you most associate this style with? For me it’s Seattle, because that’s where I live, and ugh, it’s everywhere.
Every major city.
I’m in Dublin (Ireland) and it’s exactly the same here
I grew up in a small town in the rockies and one of the developer outfits had a fancy office with this decor
Oh probably. It’s quite a popular design choice.
Modern Rustic / Industrial Rustic does look really cool to me, so I can see the reason why it’s so popular.
It IS cool, and I will die on this hill before I let these places tarnish the style!
Exactly the style is fine the problem is the use of it as an excuse to pretend all your stuff is unicorn dust and triple the prices.
Boulder, CO comes to mind for me. Although, there’s one in my small town that’s almost exactly like this so I suppose these are just everywhere.
Confession: I actually kinda like this decor. Not the overpriced food and drinks though.
Yeah, I doubt many people mind the decor, just the prices that seem to always come with it.
I don’t associate this with any particular city, but with the rich neighbourhoods in every city, particularly the recently rich neighbourhoods built from gentrification and forcing the existing poor residents out. An upscale “urban eatery” is a sure sign that the neighbourhood is destroyed.
I’ve seen dumb places like this in every city I’ve lived in.
Winston-Salem, NC. This looks like 3/4 of our downtown hipster spots. Except everything here is also a microbrewery. Soooo many different IPAs. I didn’t realize that there were so many ways to make beer that tastes like shit.
Oh God, I thought that was just a PNW thing because it’s a hop growing region.
Are IPAs somehow cheaper to make or something? Like the whole microbrewery scene has devolved into “We make nine IPAs, whatever the fuck a cucumber lager is, and a stout.”
Hops cover up shitty beer very easily. That’s a big part in it.
Even with a dozen microbreweries within a walk of my house, it’s over half IPAs. I love them, but my wife is sad about the lack of stouts. There’s a couple of good breweries with solid stouts, so it’s not too bad.
In my head I’m picturing Portland, OR
Yeah, I don’t think there’s a restaurant on Alberta that doesn’t have at least a little of this aesthetic.
That said, Pine State is worth the asking price and I’ll kill on that hill.
I think the answer is “The city you’ve been to.” Greensboro is full of crap like this.
Really? I see most US places come with sides at least. I have to go with Queenstown, NZ.
We have them here in Atlanta GA.
Came here to call out Seattle too. Those chairs especially show up in any style of restaurant it is wild. I see this some in Spokane (or I did when I was there last don’t know if there are more or fewer of them in the last few years).
I moved to Seattle 2 years ago, and I’ve seen it ALL over the US. Mostly in gentrified neighborhoods or the college kid areas.
I was gonna say SF, but now that I think about it the burger places there tend to be a bit more quaint and definitely don’t have the live laugh love shit everywhere. At least I’ve never seen one, but it’s a big fucking city so there’s almost definitely at least one.
They were everywhere in Denver.
Fries on the side are a minimum for me.
ok but they’re served in something weird.
A silver plated original civil war shovelhead plastered with googly eyes as a plate
A miniature frying basket is the default.
Truffle oil with rosemary and artisanal oregano grown on the roof in our sustainable vertical farm.
That actually sounds kind of good
And you just know that this is the type of restaurant to throw out still edible food in a dumpster and then call the cops when starving people try to take stuff from the dumpster.
Damn…what is this, r/seattle?
Don’t forget the fact that despite it’s just a cheeseburger, it’s named “The Vonderbilt Wonder”, “Halfsie Pattsies”, or “Edmonton the Second”. Ideally on a menu so scant on details it’s hard to tell the french fries from the extra avocado.
The truly fancy places call ‘em “frites”, not French fries. That way they can charge an extra three bucks for the fanciness.
And the menu doesn’t show the price like:
Cheeseburger £13
Instead you get:
Cheeseburger 13
So cool and minimalist.
Reminds me of that one joke from What Men Think About.
“In our restaurant, dry bread is called a crouton. It is still the same piece of slightly fried bread, but dry bread cannot cost 8 dollars, whereas a crouton can.”
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Funnily enough here the prices of fast food chains have risen so sharply that the fancy hipster burger places are now priced the same or even cheaper. Like a double cheeseburger at a McDonalds is 5.50 euros but a local burger joint with burgers twice as big, filling and so much tastier are 6 euros, it’s a pretty simple choice.
Where is that because here a “gourmet” burger is more like 16€ with fries.
Estonia
5.50 for a double cheeseburger! I swear that was a dollar menu item here but that long ago.
I despise that kind of lighting because it’s so fucking dim at nighttime. The places that still have physical menus apparently expect everyone to pull up their cellphones’ flashlight to read it.
One place I went last year also had some boardgames, but only opened at night and only had that shit dim yellow light. Reading anything was nearly impossible and even the colors of the game pieces were blending together, “is this red, pink or orange?”
They do it so I’m not as ugly. I apologize.
Old man pro tip: use your phone’s camera viewer to read menus and such in darker places.
Lol I have those exact barstools at home.
TIL they are supposed to be hipster/fancy?
No, just cheap and generic.
Praise the sun for me being cheap and generic, instead of hipster, then!
Praise it!
Fancy a bit of jolly cooperation?
They are suggested for restaurants because people don’t linger very long as they aren’t comfortable.
The “We want your money but get outta here” stools. Just seeing them in a restaurant is enough to make me want to leave.
Same. I won’t pay to eat in a restaurant that only offers uncomfortable seating.
I think it’s a offshoot of the shabby chic aesthetic. Expensive stuff made of cheap elements because you’re being sold a certain flavor of minimalism.
I suspect it’s also so the rich assholes can pretend to be in touch with society by occasionally “getting the poor people eating experience” (at a premium of course). They emulate classic burger joints and diners while being ten times more expensive with none of the charm.
same here lol
Aldi for $17.99 each if I remember correctly!
Well you bought them from design within reach and paid their ridiculous prices, so you should know.
woah - raz
Gentrified takes on junk food with gratuitously expensive ingredients that are a slightly more subtle equivalent to just sprinkling everything with gold leaf like in 1990s Moscow or somewhere (“Our Southern-fried hog jowls come from rare heritage-breed hogs sourced from a tiny family-owned farm in the Outer Hebrides”)
My daughter begged us for a year to take her to a place called the Sugar Factory. It has really fancy and overpriced milkshakes. So we finally relented. They have the monstrosity below for $150.
What is the fucking point? Honestly?
I can’t speak for how that tastes because we weren’t willing to pay for food there, but the drinks (my wife and daughter got milkshakes, I got an appletini) were not good. Fun to look at, but pretty mediocre. I’m guessing the burger is more of the same.
But my daughter felt it was worth the experience.
But my daughter felt it was worth the experience.
That’s exactly it. I’ve been to the Sugar Factory before and everything was pretty good, not great. You’re 100% paying for the experience.
…and they always put an egg on top of the burger for fucks sake.
To be fair, egg on a burger is pretty good
This just reminds me I never went through with my 2010s business idea of opening a restaurant called “With an egg on top”.
I’d be there weekly, so many things are just better with an egg on top.
No it fucking isn’t.
I’ve upvoted you both
Same. They’re both perfectly valid opinions. If it’s 4 in the afternoon and I want a burger before a night of hard drinking, keep your damn egg to yourself. If it’s 4 in the morning after a night of hard drinking, a runny yolk on a greasy bacon breakfast burger is just what the doctor ordered. But for me hard fried or scrambled just don’t feel right.
I admire your passion. How do you feel about peanut butter on a burger?
I tried one a couple years ago with an open mind.
I took two bites and yeah no. Couldn’t eat it.
I told the server that I couldn’t eat it, so she took my plate off the table and slapped the bill down in front of me, charging me for it without offering any alternatives while my lunch mates slowly enjoyed their good burgers and I got to sit there watching, hungry, and sixteen dollars lighter in the wallet. Worse, I was about to catch a plane, so I was fucked on getting any other food.
I got the rolled eyes treatment when I paid and didn’t tip.
I’m not bitter about that experience. Not one bit.
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Your order being fucked up or undercooked, or having an allergic reaction is a valid reason to have your meal comped, merely not liking the food is not a valid reason. It sucks you didn’t like it, but it’s no fault of the restaurant. That’s what you ordered. It doesn’t matter you only took two bites of it, all the restaurant can legally do with it is throw it in the trash, so it’s still a loss for them.
Cool your jets there. I don’t mind that I paid for it.
There was an aggressive, “well fuck you, pay me and get the fuck out then,” demeanor from the server.
I never raised my voice, never asked for a comp. All I did was response, “I can’t eat this,” when she asked how everything was. That was it.
I would’ve paid AGAIN if she’d offered to let me order something else because I was so god damned hungry and knew there would be no food for many hours ahead.
But no. She grabbed that plate, stormed off, and slapped a check in front of me. The end.
Sorry i hurt your service industry feelings.
I NEVER send food back and I NEVER ask for a comp. Never have, never will.
But you want to be shitty to be about it, I’ll pay for the food, and that’s all I’m gonna pay for.
In a similar situation this past summer, I told the server I didn’t care for the food and she immediately asked if I wanted something else. I politely declined and told her to charge me for the food, that it wasn’t her fault, and tipped her somewhere in the 25% neighborhood.
These two incidents are the only two times I can recall not being able to eat what I was served. I have, however, been witness to a number of other people getting pretty vocal about wanting everything for free, including everybody at their table, claiming they didn’t like the food they had consumed in its entirety. On that front, you and I are united, I’m sure.
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That’s pretentious but I could deal with it better than a fucking egg.
How is peanut butter on a burger “pretentious”?
Because he’s some provincial jackass who thinks anything outside of his personal norm is an unjust and unfair imposition on his right to act as if his experiences are the only thing that dictate what reality is.
He’s the same kind of circus clown that gets angry when you correct him on a factual matter, or on grammar, or if you criticize a popular movie he likes.
He and people like him are extremely self-centered, arrogant, know-it-all crybullies who think they are smart because they are adults. They are clearly not.
Yeah, honestly sounds like something you’d try when you have no shame. Not that I’m judging, just there’s a certain low you have to sink to to be the first one to try that…
That’s, just, like, you know, your opinion, man
It was messy, but I still loved it. Them my body spontaneously became allergic to eggs. A tragic loss to my taste buds, especially since a lot of the Asian foods I love like to include eggs (Ramen, fried rice, Omurice, Kimbap, oyakodon, etc etc).
