it is reasonable and compassionate to treat an oppressed minority with grace, even - especially - when they criticize their oppressors. being “accusatory and hostile” is a normal, expected reaction to lifelong persecution. putting extra effort into engaging compassionately is moral even if you disagree with them.
it is reasonable to expect this from you.
when you frame this - extending grace to an oppressed, suicidal woman - as “sexist,” you are flattening gender relations into an imaginary “all lives matter”-esque concept where all genders exist under the same conditions. this is literally an anti-feminist dog whistle of men’s rights activists.
you should treat her better because society is biased against her and has instilled that bias into you. you are obligated to correct for it.
this means you do not fucking tone-police the oppressed.
She attacked me. She delusionally tried to lump me in with her oppressors just because I used the word “ideal,” for fuck’s sake!
So no, it is not fucking reasonable to expect me to shut up and take that abuse just because of her gender! What the fuck is wrong with you?!
you are flattening gender relations into an imaginary “all lives matter”-esque concept where all genders exist under the same conditions. this is literally an anti-feminist dog whistle of men’s rights activists.
I am really getting sick and tired of being libeled like this. I am the furthest thing from a goddamn MRA!
But you know what’s really a dog-whistle? Your white-knighting! Everything about my response to her was about the content of her speech, not some kind of gendered criticism of her as a trans person. You’re the one who brought that into it.
this means you do not fucking tone-police the oppressed.
Self-defense is not tone-policing! You do not fucking bully people who are already being attacked!
no she didn’t. you are having a conversation on the internet.
She delusionally tried to lump me in with her oppressors just because I used the word “ideal,” for fuck’s sake!
no she didn’t. she said that you were framing a lack of transphobia as an ideal rather than a floor by using the word ideal.
I used “ideal” as in “better than the alternative”
no you didn’t. you couldn’t have. ideal doesn’t mean that.
I am really getting sick and tired of being libeled like this. I am the furthest thing from a goddamn MRA!
no one called you an mra. i pointed out that you were using an mra dog whistle.
You’re the one who brought [gender] into it.
gender isn’t some vampire that’s only relevant to the conversation once someone invites it in, it is a societal force that we live within. it is always relevant. this is basic feminism.
Self-defense is not tone-policing!
this is not self defense because you are not being attacked. you are having a conversation on the internet.
Do you realize that, by being incredibly accusatory and hostile to people who are trying to be your allies, you’re only making the worst outcome for yourself more likely? Don’t blame this shit on me!
this is tone policing and victim blaming.
attacked
delusional
abuse
self-defense
bully
attacked
it seems like you aren’t differentiating between what someone says about your ideas and what they say about you. it also seems like you aren’t differentiating between feeling attacked and being attacked.
no one called you an mra. i pointed out that you were using an mra dog whistle.
You can’t use a dog whistle unless you know it is one. You didn’t say “writing something that resembles a dog whistle,” you said “using” it, which implies intent and is therefore an accusations of being in that group.
it seems like you aren’t differentiating between what someone says about your ideas and what they say about you.
No, that’s the entirety of what I’m doing. In reality, I was scrupulously careful only to address the argument, not the person, while you’re insinuating all sorts of heinous lies about me. Fuck off with your DARVO bullshit!
i sincerely hope that you never interact with another trans person again. we all deserve better than this.
Gender doesn’t excuse being disingenuous. What would you have me do, treat her differently because she’s trans? What are you, sexist?
…i think i’m going to go find somebody to hug.
I’m sorry that you’re upset by my lack of sexism.
it is reasonable and compassionate to treat an oppressed minority with grace, even - especially - when they criticize their oppressors. being “accusatory and hostile” is a normal, expected reaction to lifelong persecution. putting extra effort into engaging compassionately is moral even if you disagree with them.
it is reasonable to expect this from you.
when you frame this - extending grace to an oppressed, suicidal woman - as “sexist,” you are flattening gender relations into an imaginary “all lives matter”-esque concept where all genders exist under the same conditions. this is literally an anti-feminist dog whistle of men’s rights activists.
you should treat her better because society is biased against her and has instilled that bias into you. you are obligated to correct for it.
this means you do not fucking tone-police the oppressed.
She attacked me. She delusionally tried to lump me in with her oppressors just because I used the word “ideal,” for fuck’s sake!
So no, it is not fucking reasonable to expect me to shut up and take that abuse just because of her gender! What the fuck is wrong with you?!
I am really getting sick and tired of being libeled like this. I am the furthest thing from a goddamn MRA!
But you know what’s really a dog-whistle? Your white-knighting! Everything about my response to her was about the content of her speech, not some kind of gendered criticism of her as a trans person. You’re the one who brought that into it.
Self-defense is not tone-policing! You do not fucking bully people who are already being attacked!
no she didn’t. you are having a conversation on the internet.
no she didn’t. she said that you were framing a lack of transphobia as an ideal rather than a floor by using the word ideal.
no you didn’t. you couldn’t have. ideal doesn’t mean that.
no one called you an mra. i pointed out that you were using an mra dog whistle.
gender isn’t some vampire that’s only relevant to the conversation once someone invites it in, it is a societal force that we live within. it is always relevant. this is basic feminism.
this is not self defense because you are not being attacked. you are having a conversation on the internet.
this is tone policing and victim blaming.
it seems like you aren’t differentiating between what someone says about your ideas and what they say about you. it also seems like you aren’t differentiating between feeling attacked and being attacked.
You can’t use a dog whistle unless you know it is one. You didn’t say “writing something that resembles a dog whistle,” you said “using” it, which implies intent and is therefore an accusations of being in that group.
No, that’s the entirety of what I’m doing. In reality, I was scrupulously careful only to address the argument, not the person, while you’re insinuating all sorts of heinous lies about me. Fuck off with your DARVO bullshit!