But why lesbian though? Shouldn’t she just fuck twinks and make them straight

Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is… Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.

You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.

Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.

She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.

More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.

https://www.euronews.com/culture/2026/04/01/so-long-daniel-craig-the-identity-of-the-new-james-bond-has-been-revealed

I was born for this role

One deeply underrated aspect of this post is a woman taking the name James. Women have taken Leslie, and Ashley, and so many other names. But James, an apostle, the brother of Christ! If this can happen, then women can take Paul, even Peter. Because why not!

I’d totally watch this in theaters. Also hot. But also fuck vodka martinis. Toxic lesbian James bond would drink pure gin, call it a martini and the only thing she’s eaten that day is about 30 olives and some pussy. She may have some olive juice in her gin solely to make a pass at the bartender by calling it dirty.

And please let her be played by Charlize Theron.

I’d be okay with it not being exactly as toxic as James Bond… I think people are forgetting how many times he outright rapes women in those movies. Including one time in GoldFinger where he raped a lesbian who became straight afterwards, because you know… “Lesbians are just women who haven’t been fucked by the right man”.

We could also do all of that in an original IP. Why does it always has to be a reboot or a sequel or a remake or any other regurgitation

At first I was like “no” then I got to the second paragraph. I’d watch this for sure.

Since I’d be watching for all the scantily clad males she’d be seducing, I wouldn’t want her to be lesbian or there wouldn’t be any of those.

Let’s take it one step further, and we have precedent in the 1980s:

Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.

If, and only if, no one ever references the rest of the Bond canon jokingly. Everyone just plays it perfectly straight. No nods at the camera, nothing. Just like we all looked past the Bond actor changing in the past, everyone is just like “Yeah. That’s Bond.”

Hell, have her leave flowers at Tracy’s grave.

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Spoilers for 007 flick No Time To Die from 2021:

!spoiler spoiler we find out the next 007 is exactly a seductive woman. The above concept could be written with the actress chosen for that film as the new 007 and it wouldn’t feel like a character change at all.!<

Definitely a recommend if you’re a Bond fan and missed it during the pandemic.