Her lips quivered as his eyebrows quivered. She looked at him like a dog staring at a ham.
My favorite of all time and winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss—a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
– Molly Ringle, Seattle WA
Seconds passed, then minutes more. Hours even: that’s 2,4,6,8 and so on. She waited with a baited breath, ensnaring precious oxygen into her lungs with reckless abandon. If air was money, she’d be sniffing every fart like it’s rent. That’s not what she did though. So she waited.
I cannot read this without hearing Leslie Nielsen’s voice.
“Like a blind man at an orgy … I was going to have to feel my way through” - Frank Drebin
Self-inserty hair?
As in: hair belonging to a self-insert character
Long silky black with natural red highlights shining purple in the light probably.
I was thinking of something completely different, and much weirder.
… thank you i hate it
I read “self-inserty” as slang for vain? But it could also be a property of the hair?
Self-insert usually means the writer designed a character after themselves but in this instance I think it means the reader should imagine their own hair there
This is so Ayn Rand-coded
Elon fanfic?
Still a better love story tha… WAIT A MINUTE
If you laugh at this you should also laugh at guys watching porn
I mean, the gender swapped version of this is like 9 years old at this point so I think it’s fair to say we’ve been laughing at guys too…
i mean we kinda already do. or at least we laugh at the porn aimed at them anyway
Despite having access to super modells he still choose you. He was accepting of all your imprefections and struggles, because in his eyes they made you far more special and beautiful than all the other women in his life. He let you be fully free and yourself, not needing to hide your anxieties and discomforts. But he also was just dominant and pushy enough to keep you exited almost like he could read what’s on your mind before you even knew it. When you were around other women with him - women you always have felt intimidated by, his look alone could lift you up to feel on parr, even superior to them
The way he got along with your parents was almost like he always has been part of the family. Your mother starting to see his success and riches almosts as your own accomplishments. She even apologized for all the times of ridicule, not knowing that you were right all along in your choices that led you to him.
His rich colleagues all envied him for being with such a trustfull and down to earth woman like you, expressing their own wishes to get away from all the drama that came with relationships with models and actresses. Even his long childhood friends understood to bow to your relationships and that you have become the center piece of his life. And he knew it too.
Edit: Ah, I forgot about the prettier sister realizing that her better looks and working out ment nothing in the end.
I can hear Gilbert Gottfried reading this like he did with 50 Shades of Gray.
