What is the worst film you have ever seen and why? - eviltoast

For me the shape of water was the worst film I’ve ever seen because the whole story was just so weird and ridiculous… An alien and a woman getting together.

The worst part about it is that critics at the time were praising the film…

  • @HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone
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    248 months ago

    What a take, wow. Is it just the idea of a strangely attractive fishman and a human falling in love that makes you feel so strongly against SoW?

    • JamesBean
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      228 months ago

      Yeah if Shape of Water is the worst movie they’ve seen, I gotta assume they’ve seen about 10 movies total.

      Even if it’s slightly overrated, in the grand scheme of all movies that one is way above average.

    • room_raccoon
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      18 months ago

      When I saw it, it was a mermaid and the male engineer guy was trying to save her. Am I in a Mandela effect right now?

  • @GraniteM@lemmy.world
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    248 months ago

    The thing is that you kind of have to define “worst” and “film” in order for the answer to make sense.

    Like, you’ve got movies like the 2019 Cats where it was a pervasively horrible movie in multiple different ways, but it was absolutely not boring, and I kind of think everyone should see it. See also The Super Mario Brothers Movie with Bob Hoskins, or Star Crash from 1978.

    And then you’ve got things that barely qualify as movies. Things like Manos: The Hands of Fate, or Troll 2, or Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, where, yeah, they hired actors and a director said “Action!” but… like…is it really a movie?

    There’s different categories for bad movies. There’s “Mainstream Piece of Shit that Should Have Been Better,” there’s “Insane Microbudget Fever Dream,” there’s an axis from Boring to Glorious Trainwreck. All of these complicate the question and merit their own consideration.

    All that said… it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special. It’s a totally fucking brutal experience. There is virtually no good reason to ever watch it, except to say that you have, and I don’t necessarily think it’s worth the time. It’s irredeemable.

    • lemmy689
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      28 months ago

      Well, I don’t think Carrie Fisher was wearing a bra during her brief apperance in the Star Wars special, so that was something.

    • @kerf@lemmy.world
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      28 months ago

      Even when discussing bad movies I’ve never seen someone else mention Death Bed before, it’s really bad! At least it has some humor and a lot of wierdness to it. The worst I’ve ever seen that just feels like lost time is Ax 'em / The Weekend it Lives. You basically can’t see or hear what’s going on most of the time because the camera work is so bad

  • @dingus@lemmy.world
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    218 months ago

    The Last Airbender.

    But to be honest, I never actually made it all the way through the whole movie. It butchers its source content so severely that it is honestly infuriating to watch.

    • @thorbot@lemmy.world
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      88 months ago

      I came here to say this too. We couldn’t even watch it after about an hour. Just fucking shut it off and have no desire to finish it

      • all-knight-party
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        58 months ago

        I did the same, except I was in a theater, so I walked out. As soon as the beginning of the movie where the humans return and occupy Pandora after a “two years later” hand wave I just knew it was somehow going to be worse than the first, which was passably decent and pretty.

        Like, preventing the humans from occupying the planet was the entire pivotal conflict of the first film, and they just failed to prevent it again in the second one, and it was completely glossed over. All my brain could see was “we want to draw this shit out for a franchise, so the humans are just here now”.

        Then the remainder of the film was just feckin boring and shallow, albeit pretty, but not pretty enough for three feckin hours, maybe it had a killer ending, I do not know

        • @thorbot@lemmy.world
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          28 months ago

          Yeah it was impossible to care about anyone or anything going on. Basically just “time warp, humans are so ingrained they grew their own evil blue people, oh and the generals alive again sort of, and he kidnaps people, better fight!”

          Fucking ridiculous

    • @Z4rK@lemmy.world
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      28 months ago

      That was so boring. I bought it on iTunes. Watched maybe an hour. Have had it available offline for several long haul flights and trips. Still can’t be bothered to finish it.

  • PonyOfWar
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    168 months ago

    Probably the Eragon movie. Watched that one in the cinema as a kid. A terrible adaptation that doesn’t do the source material justice in any way.

    • Xariphon
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      28 months ago

      The source material didn’t do justice to any of the source material Paolini ripped off, either.

  • @DrQuint@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    Shape of Water? Really?

    I know the top comments are bringing the usual boring answers, but man, I’ll take them over pretending that is anywhere close to being bad. There’s way too much shit out there worth recognizing, like, the latest stinker is Five Nights at Freddy’s.

    If someone wants a bottom 30 contender, I suggest looking up A Fish Called Wanda. It has two jokes: Long winded rants and Homophobia. Laugh. I made the delivery better.

    • Bizarroland
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      58 months ago

      I actually like a fish called Wanda. I wouldn’t call it a masterpiece but I’ve seen it a few times and I would say it’s more entertaining than oceans 11.

  • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
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    158 months ago

    The Shape of Water is a movie made by a guy obsessed with old movies. If you’re not into the aesthetic of old monster movies and old movie musicals, I can see why you wouldn’t enjoy it much.

    I thought Ready Player One was pretty bad, especially considering that it had a large budget and an incredibly experienced director at the helm. The source material was just too sparse to pull out anything besides soypoint-1 soypoint-2

    • Snot Flickerman
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      8 months ago

      Ready Player One was ridiculously overhyped.

      It ultimately permanently dates itself by pushing the media from the authors youth as the most important media in history and far more memorable than anything that came after. The author cannot imagine anything better and chooses not to.

      Like the Fallout series it suffers from an “end of history” trope where society, culture, and art become static and unmoving, moored in a certain aesthetic and time period, despite time firmly marching on.

      • Bizarroland
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        08 months ago

        I feel like if you’re the kind of person that likes Scott Pilgrim versus the world then you probably would have not hated ready player One.

        There’s like a very specific window of people that the entire story appeals to and if you’re not inside of that window then you’re shit out of luck.

        • Snot Flickerman
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          28 months ago

          Arguably, it should have appealed to me. Ernest Cline is barely 10 years my senior and loved most of the same things I did. I’m just not such a self-important schmuck that I think that means it’s the best art in history.

    • @Jordan_Jordan@lemm.ee
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      38 months ago

      I tried to read the book. Made it about 50 pages before I DNF’d. The protagonist is just such a snobby condescending little shit. He whines about being ostracized and bullied but he constantly talks down to everyone at every opportunity. It felt like a power fantasy for the people who think other people don’t like them because they’re nerds, but really it’s because they’re just assholes.

      • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
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        08 months ago

        The movie adds in a fundamental misunderstanding of Mobile Suit Gundam (because they couldn’t get Ultraman) and The Iron Giant lmao

        • UlyssesT [he/him]
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          18 months ago

          The movie adds in a fundamental misunderstanding

          The movie had blue curtained takes on the already blue curtained takes of the book. It was at its roots a masturbatory power fantasy of treat consumption and nothing more.

  • @jarredpickles87@lemmy.world
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    148 months ago

    The Room by Tommy Wiseau. I know it’s like a cult classic for being bad, but the first time I watched it, I made sure to view it as unironically as possible. It’s an atrocious movie for what a movie should be.

    If you want to watch something cringy and terrible to mock and laugh at, this movie is so much better. But if you watch this movie wanting it to be a proper movie that took itself seriously (which was its original intention) it is fucking terrible.

    • @hansl@lemmy.world
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      118 months ago

      If anything it is unironically a psychological study into Tommy Wiseau ego, as he did the directing, writing and producing (and acting). It tells us more about his view of the world than any biography could ever.

      • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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        38 months ago

        And technically competent! A detail you take for granted, unless you’ve watched absolute trash made by complete amateurs. The Room took off because it is professional garbage. You can clearly see and hear all of the stupidity.

  • @MimicJar@lemmy.world
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    138 months ago

    Downsizing.

    The trailer pitches it as a funny concept movie (what if people could become small), but that concept is largely dropped about 1/3rd of the way in and becomes a dystopian drama, which is interesting but a huge tonal shift, only for that story to be dropped 2/3rds in, to finally give us an end of the world story, which is kinda comedy but not really.

    It’s three movies squished together, each of them are “fine” but together they are an ugly boring mess.

    • Bizarroland
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      98 months ago

      I watched it because I had heard it was terrible and it was plain to me that every single person on set was coked out of their fucking gourd. That special probably cost like a million dollars in 1970s money to make and $900,000 of it was just the cocaine bill.

      • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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        38 months ago

        As intended. It was the punchline.

        His greatest talent is making people forget he has talents. He was in a variety of bands in high school. He is a half-decent freestyle rapper. He had a significant career in off-the-wall broadcasting and swung that into a massive show on MTV. If you looked at young-adult cable circa 2000, the pillars of the zeitgeist were wrestling, South Park, and this fuckin’ guy.

        Sacha Baron Cohen disguises himself physically so nobody sees him coming. When he shows up as himself, or as a character people already know, he can’t catch them off-guard with what a clever asshole he is.

        Tom Green’s disguise is being Tom Green. Showing up as himself is what disarms people. It’s played-up, I’m sure, but it’s not a character or a bit. He is genuinely a high-powered maniac. Like a class clown who’s genuinely good at stuff. The boy who can do a pull-up just fine, but thinks it’d be funnier to struggle, and figures the longer he does it the funnier it gets. People with passing familiarity know that he acts like an idiot… but they don’t know why he acts like an idiot.

    • @UnculturedSwine@lemmy.world
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      38 months ago

      I feel like the director knew exactly what type of movie he was making too. As bad as it was, I always crack up thinking about “Daddy would you like some sausage?”

    • huf [he/him]
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      18 months ago

      i dont understand why people dislike that movie so much. from what i vaguely remember, it was stupid, but not bad. it wasnt the prestige or that other one, the one with the dreams and the BWAAAAAAAAAM.

  • @AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    Easy, Sucker Punch. It was money laundering with a side of no real story. It felt like Hollywood finally did enough cocaine to decide that all people needed was nonsensical cgi fest set pieces with nothing linking them together but scantily clad women doing little to nothing. Someone else paid for that movie and I still want a refund.

    Honorable mention to The Hobbit part 2: the movie that contained essentially nothing but walking.

    • Cosmicomical
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      28 months ago

      I’m sorry to say I watched that abomination in a motherflipping cinema

    • @MiddledAgedGuy@beehaw.org
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      8 months ago

      I see myself as reasonably progressive and cultured. So I take no pride in admitting that dumb cgi action movies and scantily clad women are motivators to watch a movie, but they are so I looked this up. And wow it looks so bad, just the poster art alone.

      • @AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
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        18 months ago

        Yeah, when I said that’s literally all it is I wasn’t kidding. Those factors can be fun but holy shit is it ever bad when you don’t do anything else resembling what you do to make a movie.

  • @RBWells@lemmy.world
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    118 months ago

    I think I’d have to give that title to Eragon. Based on the scene where they break the one character out of an allegedly impenetrable fortress by opening a door and walking in, then walking out with her.

    Shape of Water I liked a lot. It’s a fairy tale, fantasy, and was creepy and beautiful at the same time.

  • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]
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    8 months ago

    I don’t know how you walked away from The Shape of Water with such a shallow reading, but eh, not everyone’s taste in films is the same.

    I have a great dislike for the sorts of horror films where horror is conveyed entirely by long drawn out tension into a jumpscare. It bores me and then I stop caring about what’s going on in the film. The Woman in Black is one that immediately springs to my mind, ironically because of how bland I thought it was. It’s what you’d get if you told chatGPT to write the script for a horror movie. Just a bloke stumbling 'round a house at night being scared by random shit punctuated by daytime exposition scenes.

  • @hactar42@lemmy.world
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    108 months ago

    Recently Old Dad’s on Netflix. I tried to watch it twice now but it’s basically an entire movie made from millennials eat avocado toast memes.

    The first time I didn’t make it past the first scene because it was basically, this kids a shit because his mom doesn’t discipline him.

    Tried it again the other day and only made it another 10-15 minutes in. I’m an older dad myself, so I thought it would be relatable. However, I like to think I’m not an insufferable asshole, so I couldn’t relate to it at all.