What's something you used to do/see/say but don't anymore because you don't feel it's right? - eviltoast

Me personally? I’ve become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women’s expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I’ve matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I’ve come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of ‘humor’ really is, and I regret it deeply.

  • JDubbleu@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Is lame ableist? I knew about the other 2, and I think anyone else growing up in the 2000s used them at some point (myself included, don’t anymore though), but I’ve never heard of lame as being a slur.

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Lame is kind of an old word for someone or something with a bad leg or legs.

      Like how a horse is lame if its leg is broken.

      • JDubbleu@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Huh TIL. Tbh lame seems more disconnected than the other two. Looking at the etymology on Google it seems it was last used in that way commonly in the late 1800s, so maybe that is why.

        • fiat_lux@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          We still use it in English for the original purpose. If I told a native UK/AU/NZ English speaker the horse was shot after a race because it was lame, people wouldn’t assume it was because the horse was uncool.

          • Ser_Ocelot@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I think lame might get more of a pass because it’s very rarely used to describe people any more, so there is a bigger disconnect.

            • fiat_lux@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              You’re right that I have more frequently been described as crippled rather than lame, but I have still experienced some ‘fun’ double entendre with lame.

              • Ser_Ocelot@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                That sucks, I’m sorry. Not sure why I’m surprised that people would use the more archaic definition just for cruelty’s sake

                • fiat_lux@kbin.social
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                  1 year ago

                  The interesting part is that it was never intended with malice, it was just a lighthearted bit of a joke. I guess if I had my disability as a kid, I think that would be different. And you laugh along the first few times with them because you know they don’t mean harm, but eventually it gets very old and it sinks in that this is how people perceive you - even if unintentionally. It becomes your defining feature and just a constant reminder of how you can’t do certain things you want to, and it’s worse if your condition is also physically painful it becomes a reminder that you’re in pain, even if you’ve managed to forget for a few happy seconds. It makes it just that little bit more difficult to not think about, when the same word that has been used to describe you just pops up casually in its slang form.

                  But, for people who have the additional baggage of having how people perceive you as being disabled, when the word has a dual meaning with ‘unintelligent’ like ‘retarded’ or ‘spaz’, its an even more painful sort of othering. It’s not one I’ve experienced personally, but this is why I’ve tried to stop using words which have a medical + bad thing association… which, as it turned out, was most of the words historically used to describe people with disabilities. It runs deep. Even if I aim the words correctly and precisely, I don’t want to make other people feel sad as collateral damage.

                  I think it actually says something about ‘lame’ that we mostly only use it to refer to animals now. When you hear it used about yourself or others in the original form, it even has a flavour of dehumanisation that it didn’t entirely have before.

                  Language is a weird thing like that.

    • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Technically yes but I’m disabled and it’s literally never seemed ableist to me. I’ve never heard anyone use it as anything other than “that’s a bummer” or “you’re ruining the vibe”

      I think that specific word has been reformed