Every time you interact with someone you should give them a base level of respect. How they respond determines the amount of respect you continue to proceed with.
Slightly disagree.
Every time you interact with someone you should give them a base level of respect.
No. This is true for the first meeting with someone. After that the level of respect is based on their previous behaviour.
Regularly act like a shithead, zero respect required.
Respect is earned. If you don’t treat other people, animals, public property etc with respect, you deserve none in return.
In a way, you respect yourself by not sinking to their level.
You respect yourself by not allowing yourself to have anything to do with them once they lose all respect.
I have a family member I refuse to have any contact with.
I respect this POV
Mad respect, G
But that’s my point. If they’re disrespectful then you lower the amount of respect you give them.
So if a stranger disrespects me, I should disrespect them more?
Sounds like a mutual self destructive relationship if you ask me. Someone either has to be the better person, or just walk away.
Walking away is just as disrespectful as dropping to their level. It sends the same message just with less effort.
No
Good argument. I love all the great points you made. It really persuaded me.
You’re welcome
Eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but if you can’t avoid a fight, ftw. Not words, talk is cheap, but in my corner of the world guns are ubiquitous too. There’s a difference between doormat/whipping person and hostile but at the end of the day, survival instinct is strong.
I disagree with you that there is a minimum anyone deserves.
Past a certain point you are disrespecting yourself to allow them to be in your presence or have any contact with you.
Agree.
- Respect has to be earned (you cannot demand)
- Give proper respect (don’t expect they will reciprocate)
Those are my thoughts.
Right but often the self-respecting thing to do is not stoop to their level and make a mess.
And some times you have to stoop to their level as some arseholes see any respect as weakness and the behaviour will continue. It should never be the first choice but it it is still an option in extreme cases.
Your title contains two opposing statements. Giving respect is earning respect.
Also this is not a shower thought.
Respect has to be EARNED Sweet, just like money. 💵
We give it on good faith loan, sometimes, but just because we give it and earn it doesn’t mean we’ll get it. Bstix got it right. Expectations of ourselves and each other are a hard road to disillusionment.
Respect, Loyalty and Love are all things that can’t be earned, can’t be bought, can’t be expected, can’t be demanded.
You can only give them.
That’s what I tell my students, “I will have exactly as much respect for you as you have for me.”
It’s also not an equal trade, so no one gets it wrong. Not treating someone with respect won’t get them to respect you, but treating someone with respect won’t necessarily get them to respect you, either.
For any young autists that needed it spelled out. Keywords being “treat them with a base level of respect.”
What about the respect given to an individual because of its status in society? There are certain people that have a base level of respect because of their seniority, job or role during a period of time.
Those people may or may not show the same amount of respect towards others as is shown to them in general. And I dare say, there will be people willing to defend them even if they are not up to expectations, just because they have that seniority/job/role.
Take for instance:
- Some politicians
- Some celebrities
- Some senior members of an organisation, like CEOs, CTOs, senior managers, etc.
Ask me how I know you’ve never worked a service job.
I’ve been working in food service for almost 14 years. I don’t know what you’re on about.
Because all the respect in the world will still see people treating you like shit on a regular basis.
IMHO a base level of respect should always be given. This base level is earned by existing as a being with thoughts and emotions. The way a person acts, any social standing, etc. can then lead to additional respect on top of that, but the level cannot fall below the base.
I also believe that in a first interaction with a person, you should start at the base level always, regardless of any prior knowledge about social standing etc. This also helps to define the base level in a meaningful way, e.g. if this is the level of respect I award my new boss, this is also the level of respect I should award a random homeless person
There are different types of respect, though.
Achievements garner respect, even if the person is a real asshole and terrible human being the rest of the time. Many musicians fall under this category.
Then you have genuinely good people who are respected for that, but not because they’ve achieved something extraordinary. Many ordinary people who are known in their community for being kind and generous often earn this type respect.
Then you have the rare case of someone who is both an amazing person and has achieved something that can be respected. Keanu Reeves fits here.
Another forms of respect is one where someone who has earned a title, commands a form of automatic respect from people: doctors, judges, etc.
I can go on, but you get the point.
“Respect that is earned” is often the respect you get from people ABOVE YOU, and rarely the other way around, unless you fall into one of the above categories. A teacher, for example should be respected by their students, but students don’t automatically get respect from their teacher unless they have earned it (through effort, grades, etc.).
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Ever heard of the respect bank?
I see too many people claiming respect and treating others as nothingness. It’s not a form of earning, get respect is almost always a villain’s claim from villains people.
