Empathy Training - eviltoast
  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I worked in the retail mines for a few years as both a peon and a peon first class (manager).

    Everyone had stories about the absolutely worst assholes they had to deal with. I always told my staff to try to remember that the reason those assholes stood out so much amongst everyone else is because they were not the norm.

    Most of our customers were fine or even great. But since that was the norm, they don’t stand out in our memories.

    Also, I was always willing to kick out asshole customers. My staff’s job was to take care of the customers. My boss’s job was to take care of corporate.

    My job was to take care of my staff.

  • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    That is such an american thing for some reason… My grandma was literally terrified when we once visited the US together and saw an adult man throw a tantrum for not being able to get barbecue sauce In McDonald’s

    • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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      2 days ago

      In Japan, they won’t say much to your face, but they will say you’re impolite, useless and should get fired in the internet reviews, if you didn’t treat them like royalty from beginning to end.

      • tiramichu@lemm.ee
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        2 days ago

        That’s honestly even more annoying.

        I enjoy seeing google reviews where someone is making a huge fuss about their poor restaurant experience, and then the manager responds like “You did not raise any issues during your visit, including when asked by staff. If you had told us of any problem we would have done our best to make it right”

        Like how much of a clown did that customer just show themselves to be. Couldn’t raise the problem in person, but quite happy to go kick off about it online where they feel anonymous.

    • espentan@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I concur. I honestly don’t think I had ever seen a customer give a retail employee a hard time before (at least not in a manner that would catch other customers attention) until I visited the US. There it felt like a somewhat regular occurrence, perhaps esp. at fastfood places and Walmarts and whatnot.

      “AAAARRRGHH, I want the discounted chips but the shelf is empty - FIX IT, OR ARE YOU JUST COMPLETELY USELESS?!”

    • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I will actively confront any asshole I see behaving this way in a retail or food service line. I did my time, and I know. All it takes for evil to succeed are for good people to stand by and do nothing.

    • palordrolap@fedia.io
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      2 days ago

      I wonder what would happen if someone else threw a similar tantrum with the topic “people who throw tantrums (like that other guy) shouldn’t get what they want”.

      I mean, I know what would happen, you’d get permanently trespassed and the other guy would get a comped meal, but you know, it’d be funny for five minutes.

      • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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        2 days ago

        I’ve been waiting for someone to go off on a service employee in front of me so I can kinda do that, although I plan on saying something similar to, “who the fuck do you think you are? That’s a human being, and they have no control over [issue].”

        I can get away with it because I’m a large, imposing dude with a deep booming voice. As long as my wife isn’t with me, because she gets mad at me for getting involved.

        • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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          2 days ago

          I was waiting on a pickup order for food once and a lady walks in and started going off because it was 8:07, she didn’t have her food, and her order was supposed to be ready at 8:05. There’s like 10 people waiting, they are obviously overwhelmed and doing the best they can.

          Me, being a bigger guy as well, chimed in with: “It’s obviously busy in here, they’re doing their best. I’ve been waiting patiently for about 10 minutes, and some people have been here longer than me.” Another guy chimed in “My order was due at 7:45, calm down lady!” She huffed and walked away from the counter glaring at us.

          A few minutes later the worker came out and says “Order for Karen?” Lady grabs her bag and leaves… Other guy and I share a look and both started laughing.

          I got a $10 gift card for my “inconvenience”.

  • lgmjon64@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Totally wouldn’t work. We Americans believe in a brotherhood/sisterhood of suffering. If we suffered, we believe that others NEED to suffer as well. It’s why nurses are terrible to new nurses, why so many people are against forgiving student debt, and why so many parents refuse to acknowledge their children’s issues. It’s all “I lived through it and it sucked, so you need to too,” mentality. We didn’t build compassion though suffering, we just wish it on others, too.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      America is just one endless hazing ritual, from the day you are conceived to the day your grave is exhumed for its real estate value.

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        2 days ago

        It used to be socially unacceptable to be a jackass. Somewhere along the line, it became socially acceptable, then desirable, and finally glorified. We have lost the plot, by and large.

        • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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          It used to be socially unacceptable to be a jackass.

          It used to be socially unacceptable to be a jackass while poor. You were always supposed to defer to your betters. The Kennedys got to be assholes. The Vanderbilts got to be assholes. The Pullmans got to be assholes. Their employees and staff were expected to be utterly docile and subservient.

          But a century of rising middle class prosperity combined with a Randian self-centerism transformed generations of people into CEO wanna-bes. American libertarian ideology and the myth of the Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire has utterly obliterated class consciousness in the minds of the American working class. Millions upon millions of people have it embedded in their heads that they should be treated like aristocracy.

          We have lost the plot, by and large.

          We’ve bought into the propaganda of American Exceptionalism. Every American gets indoctrinated into the theory that they’re above average, that they’re Gifted And Talented, that they’re destined to become The President. There is no universal understanding of the human condition, just people who deserve to be under you and people who climbed above you unfairly.

      • lgmjon64@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Sorry, I mean the “collective we.” Of course individuals do build compassion, but look at the state of America and tell me that the collective we is different than I stated.

      • Pencilnoob@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Did the first half of the trail in '22 and I can concur. I had to stop to make money, but it was so much fun and I miss it every day. I’ll be back out there again soon

      • Montagge@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        I was in the military and my experience was wildly different. If you displayed anything other than hyper masculinity you were a little bitch that anyone could do anything to. Every single woman I served with was sexually assaulted and several of them raped. The rapists were never punished beyond a transfer to another duty station. People constantly stole from each other. Fuck the supposed comradery in the military.

        • Notyou@sopuli.xyz
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          That sounds shitty. I’m sorry your experience in the military was that way, but I wouldn’t paint the whole with a big brush like that. There are good people and bad people both in and out of the military.

    • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Totally wouldn’t work. We Americans believe in a brotherhood/sisterhood of suffering. I

      As someone who’s been in the compulsory military service, this is exactly what would happen. The “old cans” in there haze and expect the newbies to suffer like they did.

  • TheFeatureCreature@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I did grocery retail for about 4 years. We had some less-than-great customers but honestly the worst part was dealing with corporate. Upper management and corporate decisions is what truly made daily work much more difficult. The store manager that was there when I was hired was really good and good to her staff, but corporate didn’t like that she ran some expenses for customer and employee benefit so they “relocated” her. The replacement manager was one of those “fixer” types and he so godawful that I walked off the job. Left my badge on my department desk in the office and went home. Because they had been cutting back hours and hires, my entire department folded after I left. My supervisor got reassigned and some of the other part-timers left.

  • ettyblatant@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I worked at JC Penney as a teenager 20ish years ago. One day we had a sale on Xmas socks- three pair for the price of two. Each pair of socks were $3, so with this deal you’d get them for $2 instead.

    This woman waited in the long-ass line and showed up with four pairs. I rang them up, $6 for the three pairs in the deal, and $3 for the fourth. She wanted the fourth pair for $2 as well. I explained that the deal was automatically stored in the register, and that it would only apply if she bought three more pairs.

    She lost her absolute shit at me, called me awful names, demanded to see a manager, and ultimately threw the socks at my face before storming out.

    That was over a $1 price difference, and she was one of the more tame customers. I imagine in the last couple decades it has become much worse

  • samus12345@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    Honestly, most people aren’t that bad. But the ones who are are tend to be REALLY bad and they’re the ones who are remembered.

    • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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      2 days ago

      Eh, it depends on the job. It’s not retail, but waiters are always taken aback when my wife and I are understanding about any delays or them being out of something. You can always see them bracing for the abuse when they tell us the issue.

      We’ve both worked in retail and food service, so we get it.

      When I worked retail, we would get shitty customers all the time, but one of my super powers was being able to diffuse the situation without having to get management involved.

      • 9point6@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        You can always see them bracing for the abuse when they tell us the issue.

        What morons don’t even operate on the “you don’t fuck with people handling your food” basic rule, let alone just have basic common decency.

  • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    Anyone who’s truly worked retail knows it ain’t the customers that are the worst, but the middle managers and certain coworkers.

  • frostysauce@lemmy.world
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    All this would do is embolden those shitty people. “Dad, don’t be rude to retail workers!” “I had to deal with it, they can too!”

  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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    2 days ago

    “north americans”

    Does the author really have knowledge of Mexican retail? I’m doubtful about their Canada knowledge, too, but that’s at least somewhat believable.

    • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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      North America is just the Continental United States, now.

      Canada and Mexico have gone into witness protection to avoid getting wrapped up in our bullshit.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    I used to have a line in my dating app profile about not contacting me if you’re rude to service workers. You can guess what jobs I’ve worked in the past.

  • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
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    2 days ago

    Also, anyone applying for a driving licence should have to have spent a given number of hours cycling on public roads.

  • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Yeah… I don’t think this would work. I worked customer service for 5 years and, if anything, now I have less patience with the reps because I know exactly how they’re fucking up and how to fix it.

  • Case@lemmynsfw.com
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    Man, war stories from Christmas in retail.

    My first time around wasn’t too bad. I was part of a team managing the back room inventory and, essentially, trying to force out merchandise that otherwise wouldn’t fit on the shelves to keep the back room as clear as possible. That black Friday, I was assigned to guard a pallet of shit. It was blacked out so people wouldn’t crowd highly desired items - TVs and such.

    The next year, I was in the electronics department, as in, that was my post as I had transferred to the sales floor.

    That year, oh that year, the Wii dropped. We’d get a pallet in, and we’d just wheel it out to the register to sell. Of course, it didn’t start out that way. They were all locked in “the cage” and we had to get a manager to get them, one by one. That didn’t last too long as the management team was pretty much just running Wiis back and forth.

    To top it off, my former inventory control role and limited register training, I had to train an incoming store manager (who would make FAR more per day than I would, after taxes I made about 70 a day for an 8 hour shift) to use the register. And he was… well, slow to learn. Which meant lines and issues - which would require a lower level of management to come handle - their response time, for a variety of reasons (busy season and sheer idiocy laziness"level of business" slowed down.

    Having only one register back in electronics, well… this sucked.

    Why would you train someone at the BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR? I get it now though, after 10 years of retail and 11 in IT, the one thing I’ve been able to determine is that approximately 1% of management, anywhere, is competent.

    That doesn’t beat out the day I was asked to “help coverage.”

    Yeah, I worked my full shift, then was asked to stay on for four more hours, then four more. And I didn’t take a second lunch. Now, the state I lived in didn’t give a fuck. Its the kind of state that says “Oh its 100+ degrees out? Better pass legislation to make water breaks legal to ignore.” Yeah, a lot of people died of dehydration and heat stroke in the construction industry after that. As far as I know, employers eased up on water breaks, but the legislation is still in effect. I digress, I got written up for not taking a second meal break. I was not released to do so, AFTER asking about it, and still written up.

    After all of that, I moved to the automotive technician department.

    It sucked, but for most of the time I had a decent boss. My first week I was struggling. Working outside in the summer, heavy uniform, covered in oil, and otherwise being out of shape.

    That boss sent me inside, to sit in his office, and drink some cold water my first week. Knowing the company I worked for, I said I wasn’t ready to take a break yet (I was a smoker at the time, and wanted to time out smoke breaks fairly steady) and he said it isn’t a break. You’re bright red and you stopped sweating 10 minutes ago. If you know, you know. So I did, and I remember that to this day. I remember good managers.

    Thankfully, my black Friday/Christmas duties were mostly rescinded (I technically was still register trained, so I got called up to the front to kill lines) which was nice.

    The point of this?

    Retail is hell. Period.

    Mandatory retail service might be more important to our continued culture (USA) than anything else, as hyper capitalist as we are.

    Shit, my mom was a college graduate, taught for a little while (not her thing) before working for the government, which I’m not going to go into. She took an early retirement package, cause she could. Good for her. She got bored, went to work at a chain craft store. She realized, and had a long discussion with me, about how much of a CUNT she was to retail/service folks. Her words. It was nice to hear, because I was still neck deep in retail hell at the time.

  • pythonoob@programming.dev
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    1 day ago

    There was that one lady who was sentences to serve at a fast food restaurant where she through a fit and assaulted someone or something like that. Why not make Walmart floor worker a judicial punishment?