Barely functioning - eviltoast
    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      Anger is like fire. It burns hot, but it needs fuel, and leaves behind nothing but ash.

      I’ve been angry for a long, long time. Now I feel tired and broken. Nothing left but the occasional ember in the cinders.

      I’ll recover, I’m sure. But not today. And probably not tomorrow. Probably not for a while.

        • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 month ago

          All of my interests relate back to political and philosophical thought in some way. Closing my eyes won’t help. It’s not the barrage of stupidity that’s killing me, though that is aggravating. It’s the hopelessness, and that returns as long as the matter is considered, whether there’s news to go with it or not.

          • errer@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I feel you man. Most of my friends want to bury their heads in their sand to cope and ignore everything, I just can’t do that. I want to be angry for a while and talk about what’s making me angry.

            • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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              1 month ago

              I’m far too aware that the level of action I’m willing to take and the level of action it would take for one individual to change the course of nations are too far apart for anything but for my mood to change with the winds of the times, despair or hope as massive demographics drive them. On some level, I think, I would prefer to be clueless to that.

              But I can’t be. Some fuckers taught me how to read and write and shit, and now I’m cursed with literacy and awareness. I fucking hate it.

              • Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                But I can’t be. Some fuckers taught me how to read and write and shit, and now I’m cursed with literacy and awareness. I fucking hate it.

                Heck yes.

                I had a media career and gained a… habit if not love… for news and journalism in a way. The habit is crushing now in the way that an addiction quickens into life-threatening dependence in the blink of an eye.

                I’m wrecked, honestly. About all of it, but there’s a little extra ketchup on the shit sandwich for me in the abandonment of journalism we see every day. Not to mention the impending media acceptance of Trump’s retribution.

                I feel you in this thread and it hurts because all I need to do is nod along.

          • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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            1 month ago

            You can develop those subjects irl too, for example by joining a local non profit that focuses on something that you like. I think it’s the best way to go through this difficult period.

            • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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              1 month ago

              My point is that I can’t mentally avoid the reality of living under a Nero, as much as I’d like to. Not that I won’t find ways to cope, some helpful to broader society, and some not.

              • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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                1 month ago

                living under a Nero

                You. You impress me, for whatever that’s worth. Stay with us and stretch my brain a bit more.

        • AhismaMiasma@lemm.ee
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          1 month ago

          Most of my IRL circle are the problem… I am despairing that I need to so heavily prune core parts of my circle.

          • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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            1 month ago

            Maybe you can develop new circles without having to cut existing ones, like joining some club or non profit about subjects that you like.

      • Kichae@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        In the words of my therapist, “that’s just rage”. Anger is the feeling that says “no” and motivates you to action, not the one that kicks and screams and does nothing.

        • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 month ago

          Anger has kept one foot going in front of the other at many points in my life. It can’t run on nothing. It can’t burn infinitely.

          • kmaismith@lemm.ee
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            1 month ago

            Anger is fueled by love. My anger is fueled by a woefully irrational love for this country, my state, my city, my neighborhood, my friends, my family, the culture and beauty birthed by this nation, now being set ablaze to avoid facing the atrocities committed to build it. While i am not fond of the past, but i must embrace it and love it; and only once there is not even a memory left of this place i call home, will flame burn out

      • HasturInYellow@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Lucky for you, I feel enough rage for the both of us. I am consumed by an unquenchable bloodlust of such magnitude that I genuinely do not feel like the words exist to properly describe it. All of these fascist fuckers think they are about to make us ‘find out’ but boy oh boy have they been doing a lot of fucking around.

        I will not go quietly when they come for me or my neighbors.

      • BougieBirdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 month ago

        Sounds like you need to sweep out the chimney. It’s a dirty job, it sucks, and it’ll only get worse if you put it off. But in time you’ll be burning like new again.

        I don’t know exactly how the metaphor applies in your situation, but I’ve struggled for a long time with burnout and that resonates with me. Hopefully you find some comfort