wait till you get one of those neuralink chips and you’re forced to like all of elon’s tweets

from now on he’s gona be concerned, making texts like “hi son, have you had your daily cock yet?”

TIL it’s 2018

and then if you’re like me and you’re too lazy to type out zsearch every time you just do

alias z="zsearch"

my google search history is cursed but my zsh history is blessed because i can just do

zsearch() { cat ~/.zsh_history | grep "$1" }

hang on let me check my frog folder

i have 684 frogs in my frog folder

The Proud Boys always struck me as something that started off as a joke and then got taken seriously by the wrong people. kinda like how 4chan’s /pol/ board used to be mostly ironic shitposts before it got overrun by actual nazis

i dunno man if you turn off the news and only look at headlines occasionally, the world doesn’t seem like it’s falling apart. i mean it definitely is, but from where you’re standing everything seems fine. works for me

i just got a vision of a future headline

“House Democrat Legislation Fails to Abolish ICE”

i’m literally nostradamus

i always wondered why jesus never used his god powers to get off the cross, but then i realized he’s like a vampire, but instead of a stake through the heart it’s nails through the hands

neil “the grass” tyson

fake: anon wants to be fit

gay: anon likes bears

don jr would be a better president than his dad. he’s still an incompetent fascist but at least we might get legal blow out of it

when i was growing up i only knew lynyrd skynyrd as a good thing to play in hangman. but you can only do it once, after that they’re gonna be like “is this that band that doesn’t have vowels again?”

i don’t talk about it IRL, but online i overshare a lot about mental health shit. sometimes i find a way to work in the fact that i’m tourettic or autistic or bipolar, like…well, like right just now

know what’s extra hard? those common words that are like a verb + a preposition like “find out”. i convince myself that the preposition i’m thinking of is wrong

why use fancy word when good word do trick?

also too cowardly to show their face

didn’t all this somalia bullshit start with one deceptively edited youtube video? like the shit james o’keefe did at project veritas

let me look up how to say “make greenland great again” in west greenlandic

Kalaallit Nunaat angerlaneqarpoq ajunnginnersaatitaasarlugu

that might be hard to fit on a hat