You r right. maybe the reason i still want to go back is simply that i want to feel loved and wanted again. I think i developed a lot of fears and insecurities throughout the relationship. Earlier, i was quite confident, i felt beautiful and never really questioned my worth. but slowly, during the relationship, i started developing body insecurities, doubting myself and feeling like i wasn’t good enough. i began to think i was needy, that i was asking for too much and that maybe he was right about me being too much to handle.

some days i feel really alone, like i’ve lost the happiness i once had. slowly, i started seeing myself through the way he seemed to perceive me rather than how i used to see myself. maybe a part of me still wants him to choose me again because i want to feel worthy and loved like i did before. i guess i need to work on rebuilding the confidence and self-esteem i lost along the way.

even in my diary at that time, i’ve written that i’m crying and idk why, but he’s sometimes hot and cold. i wanna break up, but i just can’t leave. i feel suffocated. initially, i was like he’s just a nice guy, but later, because of his habits and behaviour towards me, he became someone special, handsome and all. and slowly, i started feeling like i was somehow lower than him, like he was better than me and i wasn’t good enough for him.

even though i was the one putting in more effort and trying so hard to make things work, i was still the one settling for breadcrumbs.

Thank you, you’ve helped me realise why i keep wanting to go back to the same toxic cycle. I think it’s my insecurities and need for love and validation.

that’s why i never left, even when i knew i was suffocating.

about being needy he told me i ask for too much and he can’t put in that much effort for me.

even though i was only asking for time, connection and proper communication. after every fight, he would shut down emotionally, leaving me to deal with everything alone.

Thank you for explaining this so patiently. i genuinely appreciate your perspective. but do you think this relationship could ever work, or would getting back together be a bad decision? somehow, a part of me knows i should stay away, but my heart still wants to break no contact and reach out to him. i’m really struggling between what i know is right for me and what i still feel for him.

Yk, I loved him so much that i slowly lost myself trying to please him. I kept putting his needs before mine adjusting and making efforts to keep him happy. And deep down, i know he never put in the same level of effort.

People keep saying that if I hadn’t made him the centre of my world and given him everything so freely, he wouldn’t have taken me for granted or left me.

Or maybe he has never cheated or maybe we would have been happy if i had stayed longer, but the moment i caught him, he dumped me. Just a minute before that, he was talking about our future and telling me how much he loved me.

Yes, nc means no contact, and it’s been 52 days since the breakup. and honestly, the part about my ex asking chatgpt how to impress other girls is true. it still hurts to think about, but i guess one day i’ll look back and wonder why i wasted so much time on someone who treated me that way. thank you for taking the time to read my story and offer your advice. i really appreciate it. btw, you’re right, i am young, and i guess i still have so much to experience and learn.

Thank you so much🥺🫂

Was this the reason he cheated on me? He was the one who kept telling me he loved me while secretly talking to other girls behind my back…

So are you saying i somehow deserved to be treated that way because i was insecure and dependent on him? I understand that i lacked self worth, but does that make his cheating and treating me like a second option my fault? If I wasn’t dependent on him for validation would he have never cheated and stayed with me?

Btw thank for replying…I agree with what you’re saying. I understand that i need to work on my self worth and stop depending on others for validation.

Thank you, i needed to hear this. I think i m struggling because i want to stop hurting so badly that i keep wishing i could just wake up one day and be over him. I know healing takes time, but some days it feels impossible, especially when i still miss him despite everything he did. I’ll try to focus on myself and learn to be happy on my own again.

But what about the actions in the beginning? When someone genuinely makes you feel loved and acts like they mean every word how do you know it was all fake? That’s the part i struggle with. I miss the version of him i knew in the beginning, tbh.

I did try reaching out, but they kept ignoring my messages. Eventually they just told me to take care of myself and now i see them posting about their happy life. I guess i have to accept that they’ve moved on even though it hurts.

Yeah i m trying, but i have no friends left after the relationship so it’s kinda hard to deal with everything alone:(

Yeah, i guess healing takes time, even if it’s slower than we want it to be. The thing is i don’t really have any friends left because i got so caught up in the relationship. Now i feel like i have no one to turn to which makes everything even harder. But i’m trying to take it one day at a time.

Yess…thank you:)

Thank you for sharing your experience. i’m glad you’re doing better now. My relationship was of 13 months, so i guess i might need a few more months lol

Thank you, this genuinely means a lot. i’m slowly learning to accept my feelings instead of fighting them and trying to find myself again. i know it’ll take time, but i hope one day i’ll look back at this phase and realise how much i’ve grown. thank you for your kind words.

Then i guess i need to give myself a few more months. i know healing isn’t the same for everyone, but thank you, it helps to have a rough idea and not rush myself.

thank you so much for taking the time to help me. i’ve actually started writing down my feelings, and it helps me process things a little better. i know healing won’t happen overnight, but your advice means a lot to me.

thank you, i’m trying to focus on my studies and rediscover myself. some days are just harder than others, but i guess healing takes time.

Thank you this genuinely gives me some hope. i think i’ve been so focused on getting my old self back that i forgot i can rediscover myself in a new way too. i’ll try taking small steps and finding joy in little things again. hopefully, someday this won’t hurt as much.

yeah, i’ve dm’d you. we can talk there.