what's a polite way to reject a picture with a very thankful patient who was under your care? - eviltoast

I have a problem with establishing boundaries.

I’m a private person. That’s very often misinterpreted as being arrogant and feeling superior to others. I’m not, I just wish to be left alone, but people still feel disrespected and it’s tiring to be constantly explaining yourself. And I don’t understand why I have to explain myself constantly.

This very emotional and thankful patient wanted a picture with me and I stupidly agreed. He also wanted my phone number (I gave him a false one) to invite me to have lunch, as he celebrated his 70th birthday. I don’t believe it was sexual or romantic, because he is married, his wife was there when he extended the invitation and took the picture and he also wanted to invite the whole unit.

I acted like this because it was the easiest way to get him to leave the hospital and free the room but also because I didn’t want to cause a scene.

What could I do next time?

  • EatATaco@lemm.eeEnglish
    43·
    3 months ago

    but to just discount OPs feelings about it is FAR more rude than declining to be in a photo.

    I didn’t discount them. They asked for advice, which included not having to explain themselves, and I gave it to them.

    And I feel pretty justified in my position if the counter position requires comparing getting your picture taken to sucking a dick.

    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
      33·
      3 months ago

      I feel very uncomfortable doing this.

      Who cares, just fucking do it anyway.

      Real supportive there. Your feeling of justification just tells me you don’t want to understand.

      • EatATaco@lemm.eeEnglish
        42·
        3 months ago

        Who cares, just fucking do it anyway.

        I didn’t say no one cares, I said it would be something i tell my children to suck up and do anyway. Just like cleaning their rooms, brushing their teeth, or dressing nicely: all things that will help them out, and be pleasant for those around them, even if they don’t particularly like them.

        But apparently we’ve gotten to the point where im just being misrepresented. If you don’t want to see my position, I can’t force you to.

        • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
          33·
          3 months ago

          If you don’t want to see my position, I can’t force you to.

          Likewise. Have a great day.

          • EatATaco@lemm.eeEnglish
            42·
            3 months ago

            When have I blatantly misrepresented your position? Let alone multiple times?

            • Agrivar@lemmy.world
              32·
              3 months ago

              You haven’t, as you know.

              I am late to this post and have now read through more than enough. You’ve been answering the OP’s actual question honestly and from your perspective, and a bunch of random weirdos are bending over backward to find reasons to argue. Thank you for your patience with them - I love it when I can add more chuds to my block list without having to go through the hassle of engaging with them myself!

              • EatATaco@lemm.eeEnglish
                21·
                3 months ago

                Appreciate it. But, make no mistake, I’m normally the chud who belongs on a block list. lol

        • 14th_cylon@lemm.ee
          11·
          3 months ago

          If you don’t want to see my position

          Dude, everyone sees your position clearly, you spend few hundred paragraphs repeating yourselves, and explaining that feelings of the person asking are more important than feelings of the person being asked and therefore it is rude to decline the wish.

          People are disagreeing with you because that position is stupid and creepy, not because they don’t understand.