How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? - eviltoast

Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding “the one” and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don’t wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there’s one that’s meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don’t come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I’m just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it’s the “natural order” or default. Not that it can’t work in individual circumstances, especially when we’ve been programmed for decades

  • imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works
    11·
    1 year ago

    I’m glad you posted here, because I happened to notice while reading wikipedia that Spain and Portugal have the highest divorce rates on the world, at 84% and 94% respectively. Obviously your personal experience doesn’t really align with this, but I did want to ask if anyone could help explain why the divorce rates are so high on the Iberian Peninsula.

    The idea that it cannot be done(unless it’s done with no effort) is the main reason most couples fail to do it.

    Strongly agree. But how does that idea take hold? Has Portugal always had elevated divorce rates or is this a recent development?

    I also wonder if it has any relation to the legal status of marriage and divorce. Perhaps it’s less costly to obtain a divorce in comparison to other countries?

    • anewbeginning@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 year ago

      Divorce rates relate new marriages and divorces. In Portugal divorces have increased but even more importantly, new marriages have dropped a lot. That is the cause of the high divorce rate.

      As to why people get divorce I’d venture a guess of economic reasons. Portuguese are quite poor, particularly in the European context, and life has gotten even harsher this last decade. That breaks a lot of people.

      Natality rates are also low. Fewer babies, fewer reasons to stick together.

      Still, as I said, there’s no reason to be cynical about monogamy, love and marriage. Many people make it work very well.

      • imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        1 year ago

        I see. The prolonged harsh economic conditions do make a lot of sense as a reason.

        Still, as I said, there’s no reason to be cynical about monogamy, love and marriage. Many people make it work very well.

        You’re preaching to the choir, my friend. I totally agree.