5 New Olympic Events Submitted by Parents - eviltoast

Parents worldwide have proposed a new group of events that showcase the everyday heroics required to raise children. These proposed events promise to be as grueling as the triathlon.

1. The Family Dog Walk The Family Dog Walk combines canine management with child safety in a chaotic, high-stakes event. Participants must walk two untrained dogs on leashes while pushing a stroller and ensuring a toddler doesn’t dart into oncoming traffic. This event requires world-class coordination, iron-clad patience, and the reflexes of a professional athlete. Extra points for picking up dog poop without the stroller rolling away.

2. The Toddler PJ Wrestling Match Inspired by the ancient art of Greco-Roman wrestling, the Toddler PJ Wrestling Match challenges parents to wrestle a wriggling toddler into a pair of zip-up pajamas that are at least one size too small. Competitors must contend with the notorious “alligator roll,” where the toddler thrashes and flails with the agility of a gazelle. Points are awarded for speed, technique, and completing the match without the parent or toddler crying.

Read the rest of this article and more at TattletaleTimes.com

EDIT: Changed article picture to stock photo due to feedback

  • faltryka@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Hard mode for the PJ Wrestling is that the toddler is slightly damp after swimming or bath time.

  • taiyang@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Welp, someone at Telltale Times has a toddler. Aside from the dog walk, this is pretty much my day everyday without hyperbole. Would be funny if it wasn’t so exhausting.

    Oh, and to add, they need an isolation event because spending the day with kids and kids alone is awful for both introvert and extrovert alike. I don’t care to go out but I also can’t be alone with my thoughts.

    • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      5 y/o, 2y/o and a dog here, I feel your pain! 😆

      You’re right, I forgot to include events that test parents’ sanity and mental fortitude. That would really break the parents that are skating through the events due to their natural athletic ability.

    • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      I have a hard time finding free stock photos for my articles at times so sometimes I use AI. Apologies Edit: I’ll follow what the votes say and change the pic to the stock photo I was originally considering, thanks for the feedback

      • *Tagger*@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Yeah, how dare you use a free, really available toll to illustrate your articles. clearly you are a monster.

        • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOP
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          3 months ago

          ty, i’d love to pay for custom art/photos for articles someday but the website is just run by myself as a side hobby so needing to use the free options for now.

          • *Tagger*@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Hey, sorry, I thought my sarcasm was more obvious. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you using the ai art. Keep on going with your side-gig!!

            • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOP
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              3 months ago

              no i understood! i started it with a ‘thank you’ but i could see how you could think that. I obviously am fluent in sarcasm or i wouldn’t have this website.

        • stormesp@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          because that free tool was created stealing from artist? And not only that, the art had very clear anatomy problems, like limbs and perspective that made no sense and did a disservice to the writer.

      • stormesp@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Thanks, i might have sound harsher than it was needed, but to create that AI image the art of artist was stolen without credit nor payment or consent. I get that sometimes it can be hard to find pics, specially illustrations that fit for free, but thats because that pic took money and time from the artist themselves.

      • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOP
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        3 months ago

        due to feedback, i ditched the AI image and replaced it with a stock photo. I’ll add an Edit note to the post to make sure its more clear.

      • stormesp@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        A lot of problems with the lineart not being well defined or blurry in multiple places and a lot of limbs, specially hands tbh making no sense with how they were interacting with the items they had close like the one riding the bike.