As India ages, a secret shame emerges: Elders abandoned by their children - eviltoast

They were found in gutters, on streets, in bushes. They were boarded on trains, deserted in hospitals, dumped at temples. They were sent away for being sick or outliving paychecks or simply growing too old.

By the time they reached this home for the aged and unwanted, many were too numb to speak. Some took months to mouth the truth of how they came to spend their final days in exile.

“They said, ‘Taking care of him is not our cup of tea,’” says Amirchand Sharma, 65, a retired policeman whose sons left him to die near the river after he was badly hurt in an accident. “They said, ‘Throw him away.’”

In its traditions, in its religious tenets and in its laws, India has long cemented the belief that it is a child’s duty to care for his aging parents. But in a land known for revering its elderly, a secret shame has emerged: A burgeoning population of older people abandoned by their own families.

This is a country where grandparents routinely share a roof with children and grandchildren, and where the expectation that the young care for the old is so ingrained in the national ethos that nursing homes are a relative rarity and hiring caregivers is often seen as taboo. But expanding lifespans have brought ballooning caregiving pressure, a wave of urbanization has driven many young far from their home villages and a creeping Western influence has begun eroding the tradition of multigenerational living.

Courtrooms swell with thousands of cases of parents seeking help from their children. Footpaths and alleys are crowded with older people who now call them home. And a cottage industry of nonprofits for the abandoned has sprouted, operating a constantly growing number of shelters that continually fill.

  • rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com
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    3 months ago

    I’m never gonna own a home, I can’t afford to care for my parents. A nursing home is absolutely out of the question if I’m the one on the hook. It’s hard to imagine it being easier in India with the work conditions and wages there.

    • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ve just accepted that I’m gonna rack up credit I never intend to pay and die. And I live in a country that isn’t gonna throw that debt on my kids

      • Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        I’m making sure I have great credit for as long as I can so when im 60-70 I can just get a huge line of credit and go nuts. I don’t plan on having any kids to worry about my belongings/debt/estate etc.

        • dubyakay@lemmy.ca
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          3 months ago

          Not sure any lender would give that line of credit to you based on your age alone.

            • Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca
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              3 months ago

              That’s the plan, currently half way to 60 and have a $20,000 line of credit so hoping I can get it up quite a bit before 60 😂

            • daq@lemmy.sdf.org
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              3 months ago

              They don’t give it to you at 0% apr. Most credit cards have insane rates above 20%. They can and will come after just about everything you own.

                • daq@lemmy.sdf.org
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                  3 months ago

                  Oh you meant credit line, not credit? They will quickly shrink that if not used. All the credit cards I haven’t used for a while reduced their credit lines wiltin a few years. Some by as much as 10x.

                  • femtech@midwest.social
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                    3 months ago

                    Yes I don’t have to use the full thing l. I have a credit card with a 25k limit that I put 2k a month on and pay off.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Begin voting for caring governments, who will first consolidate and bargain for elderly care expenses, and then take on the job of elder care itself. It’s been shown that removing the mercenary aspect and keeping the service level objectives and performance an openly-discussed metric will result in improved care, longer life and reduced expenses.

      It also makes rich assholes pay more for everyone’s care, which is kinda neat for me despite maybe being in the top 20%.