anxiety rules - eviltoast

alt text: a tweet within a tweet. “coworker asked me my pronouns and I said ‘they/them but I’m at work right now so it’s whatever’ and then she came up to me later and said ‘this is you’” (showing a tweet that says) i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn

  • mossy_@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I’m the whitest, straightest, most moderate person you’ll ever meet. Just stick to my resume, and don’t look at my lemmy comments.

  • VoilaChihuahua@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Unfortunately work me will say whatever my coworker needs to hear to get quick, accurate replies, save anything prejudice or cruel. Did my agnostic ass happily discuss dyeing Easter eggs with an old white dude who Teamsed me “happy Easter if that’s even acceptable anymore”? Praise your white American Jesus you know I did.

    • azertyfun@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Easter is not inherently a christian holiday goddammit. At least not in its popular celebration. Last I checked Jesus didn’t pop eggs from his butt when he resurrected (that we know of) and the preachings of the Easter Bunny are unfortunately not canon in Catholicism.

      To complain about “religious persecution” of profoundly pagan (if not outright heretical depending on who you ask) traditions is… certainly an interesting exercise in religious cognitive dissonance.

      • pancakes@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Jesus didn’t pop eggs out of his butt, he popped them out of his cloaca like the silly little lizard boy he is.

      • DogWater@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Easter is not inherently a christian holiday goddammit. At least not in its popular celebration.

        What makes you say that? Easter is now so entrenched with the death and resurrection of christ that it’s origins as a spring festival are pretty well fully divorced from the modern meaning now. The church set the rules for determining Easter Sunday.

        It’s on Sunday every year, the day Christians go to church specifically to celebrate the resurrection.

        https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/03/30/why-easter-celebrated-eggs-bunny-rabbits/73108158007/

        This article interview talked to a professor from Notre Dame that goes over a ton of this and the significance of eggs.

        • azertyfun@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          The Catholic Church: Co-opts a pagan holiday and re-brands it

          Two millennia of tradition: Mix pagan imagery with Christian imagery

          Nonbelievers: Co-opt it back without the explicitly Christian imagery

          You: Nooooooo it’s religious!


          The Church has had an iron fist over much of my continent for near two millenia, so of course you can find a religious tie for every holiday (except the First of May probably). However my family is almost completely non believing and we’ve always celebrated Christmas and Easter, with Coca-Cola Santa and no Mass. Why this laic co-optation is so controversial I will never understand.

        • can@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Sure, but for my childhood it was about being with family, getting chocolate, finding eggs, and maybe getting a spring jacket.

          And as an adult it’s still just chocolate and a nice meal with family. So while it does mean Jesus to those who believe in that stuff it also means something else to a lot of us.

    • Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Lul based. Same here, whatever will get them to leave me alone the soonest so I can continue toiling.

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    Honestly, at this point in my life, I’m so apathetic that I couldn’t care less.

    I grew up on the early internet, and I’m kind of part troll because of it. Since that’s the case, and I’m surrounded by THE STRAIGHTS all day at work, I like to confuse and concern them by using non-gendered or non-binary terms as often as possible to refer to anyone in my personal life, especially my significant other (aka “partner” ;) )

    I try to see how long I can go before I give anything away.

    In reality, I’m a plain and “normal” cis dude, with a typical straight relationship.

    While I’m trolling a bit with it, seeing if anyone cares enough to question it at all, I’m trying to do my part in normalizing the use of engendered terms with my colleagues, so that non-binary people will be more easily accepted, and those that are living in the rest of the rainbow, who don’t want to be “out”, have a normalized way to talk about their relationship without judgement, and without needing to “come out” to people.

    I’m just one small part of this. I’m trying.

    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
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      4 months ago

      I do this too. I just default to they/them unless the gender is relevant to the story, which it rarely is.

      I’ve found another benefit is that often it removes the gendered biases from the story. Like, if it’s a bad customer who’s a woman, but I call them they, people aren’t immediately thinking of a Karen. Or if it’s a man people aren’t immediately thinking “oh well, boys will be boys”.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      This is interesting and maybe reason to say “my partner” instead of “my girlfriend”.

      • TheWordBotcher@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Cishet guy here. I use the term “partner” all the time because I prefer nongendered relational terms. Plus, partner sounds a little more serious than saying “my girlfriend”. We’ve been together 8 years but are not interested in marriage, so I feel like it’s just the best word to use. It is amusing, though, when my partner isn’t present and I’m talking to a stranger, that they often just assume I’m gay when I use it.

        • Mildren@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          100% agree, “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” just sounds childish imo, I prefer the word associations of “partner” too, like you’re equals

        • can@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Yeah, I’m in a similar situation and “girlfriend” doesn’t quite capture what we have at this point but “partner” also feels kinda vague and I’m not about to say “my romantic partner”

    • Steak@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

      I live in northern Canada and kinda have to do the opposite to keep my job. When I talk about my wife I call her my wife and I use gendered language mostly. These guys are old school and I once heard them talk about someone who applied to work there, but they went and saw on Facebook that a year ago he had long hair and had it died blue and looked like a girl. They didn’t even give him an interview just because of that, and they spent a good minute laughing amongst eachother about how much of a pussy that guy must have been.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        That sounds like an internal problem at your company.

        I’d say they should fix that, but we both know they won’t.

        You gotta do what you gotta do, to pay the bills.

        • Steak@lemmy.ca
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          4 months ago

          That’s pretty much it. They run the show and it’s because the owner knows he could never replace the crew with cheaper labour than he has now.

  • sheev@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    literally me fr. Struggling with gender identity but too riddled with anxiety to want to have to put anything out there in a social environment, let alone work.

    • Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Probably for the best to not share it at work unless it’s something huge like going outwardly trans.

      Personally the less my coworkers know about me the better.

      • turmoil@feddit.org
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        4 months ago

        As a cishet person, I like to keep to myself as much as possible as well. That way, you can call people out on their homo-/transphobic behavior and make them really regret what they said.

  • shani66@ani.social
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    4 months ago

    Too busy fighting off the dark thoughts inherent in capitalism, talk to me after my shift.

    • beetsnuami@slrpnk.net
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      4 months ago

      There‘s a reasonable proposal for „en“, so you can just use that

      The german language is not bound by the laws of some institute, you can just use whatever you like!*

      * Not applicable in schools in saxony, bavaria, schleswig-holstein, and saxony-anhalt.

      • Ziglin@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I’ve seen dey/dem which I find just doesn’t sound natural. I generally say “die Person” for gender neutral speech.

        • samus12345@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          “Ze” would be pronounced like “tsay.” “Zie” would be closer to “the”, sounding like “tsee.”

          • joranvar@feddit.nl
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            4 months ago

            Probably understood that in the wrong direction. Ze (eng. phon.) would be spelled more like “sie” (ger. phon.) and would sound like “the” with a German accent. They would become either dey (eng. phon.) or zey (eng. phon.), spelled like “deej” or “seej” (ger. phon.), or even without the y (or j) at the end.

            I think. I’m neither native German or English.

            • samus12345@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              I wrote “ze” and "zie"from a German phonetic perspective. “Tsay” and “tsee” are the English ones.

    • prole@beehaw.org
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      4 months ago

      I like how Japanese does it (at least based on a likely oversimplistic explanation by someone who makes 4+ hour video reviews of games like Pac-Man [yes, Tim Rogers]).

      From what I understand, every time a person refers to themselves or someone else, they choose which pronoun to use to fit the situation. That is to say, their social stature compared to the other person’s, their age compared to the other person’s, the general circumstances, etc. Similar to how their honorifics work (suffixes like -kun, -san, -sama, etc.).

      So for example, while there is a specific pronoun that is typically used to refer to a young female, if there is a young girl in a situation where she’s trying to make herself feel stronger and older (I’m picturing an internal monologue here to hype herself up I guess. I’m too brain broken to not imagine all of this going down in a JRPG), she might refer to herself using the pronoun typically used by grown men.

      Again, I don’t know Japanese, so I can’t give specific examples, and I could even be completely wrong, but maybe someone who knows the language can elaborate on (i.e. correct) what I said. I found it to be a very interesting way to go about it.

  • theneverfox@pawb.social
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    4 months ago

    My pronouns are “put me in whatever box you like, if you try to make me put myself in a box I’ll throw acid in your face”

  • magic_smoke@links.hackliberty.org
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    4 months ago

    Being cute and girly seems like a lot of work. Also I’m surrounded by THE STRAIGHTS, so I’m sticking to the binary… for now…

    Good thing I’m comfortable being fat and hairy as a dude :p