My 3 year old cat wakes me up in the middle of the night ever since my 16 year old cat passed away. - eviltoast

TLDR: 3 year old cat is waking me up every night because he’s bored I think. All the toys I’ve tried have failed and kitten seems very anxious.

About 2 weeks ago my 16 year old cat passed. Despite his age it was a bit of a shock because 2 weeks before his passing he was in for a vet appointment and they said he was in perfect health. I’m mentally still not ok about it, but not the real problem atm.

The problem I’m now dealing with is ever since then, my 3 year old cat wakes me up every night. He just wants me to refill his treat toy, but he never did this before, I also refuse to fill said treat toy until 8 am when I normally wake up. I figure this is why is because as soon as it’s 8 AM and I fill his treat toy he happily goes at it and then once his toy is empty he relaxes. So I’m hoping he’ll give up and accept that I don’t give him treats until morning and refuse to.

I feel like he’s just bored since the cat he’s been around since he was 6 weeks old is gone and it was his friend. We’ve tried different toys, but he doesn’t care about any play that isn’t another person/animal or involves treats.

Like he’ll play really friendly with our dog, but our dog sleeps during the night. He also played pretty gently with our old cat, and loves playing with like fishing poles. But I don’t think we ever taught him to play by himself since he always had someone to play with and now doesn’t. He was a covid kitten that “might” have slept almost all the time in my arms as a kitten because held him for like 8 hours a day and he slept there. Working from home with a young kitten meant he was very spoiled.

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    If you can muster the energy to play with him before bedtime, like get him jumping and climbing and chasing until he’s nice and tired, it might help him settle down and sleep through the night. He’s probably more lonely than hungry, but a little kibble after playtime might also help make him sleepy.

    • PixTupy@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      This is what works with our cat. We try to use up all her energy before bed time with a fishing pole toy.

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Sorry to hear about your cat. We lost our old boy about two years ago. He was about that age. He was the best lap cat.

    • ericbomb@lemmy.worldOP
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      5 months ago

      Oh I’m so sorry to hear that as well :( those old cats who love you with all their heart are just so amazing. He would happily sit on my lap all day and whenever I sleep he would come up and rub his face against me and then sleep on my chest.

      Like I keep thinking I want another cat… but I don’t want another cat. I want MY cat back who I had for 16 years!

      But now I gotta take care of my little 3 year old boy and figure out how to keep him happy!

  • abcd@feddit.de
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    5 months ago

    When our first cat died, number two also acted very weird. He was searching his buddy for weeks without stopping. After a while we brought him company, since his mental Health seemed to be on a decline. Having a new kitten helped him out of this situation and now he has a new best friend 😁

    Still miss our first one 🥹

  • celeste@kbin.earth
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    5 months ago

    He might need some time to adjust to the change in routine? It’s tough to say. I had one cat about your cat’s age who was very social and routine oriented. After his wild adjustment period, he settled in, and he would sleep all night. I hope consistency is all you need, too, but my cat might’ve been a weirdo.

    Another cat figured out nighttime was when humans sleep only after closing her into the other half of the house when she wouldn’t let us rest.

  • iamanurd@midwest.social
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    5 months ago

    Sorry to hear about your cat. That shit is rough.

    That aside, I think the only solution is more cats!

  • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Something you could try is calming treats before bedtime. My friends cat is starting to suffer early signs of dementia and the “composure” treats have been helping him make it through the night. Also, there are more stimulating cat feeders, like this one. You basically start by feeding them in the normal place, and then progressively move the little feeders further and further away from each other until you can hide them, stimulating their hunting instincts, satisfying them with mental challenges, and ultimately making them more content. The company itself claims it’s meant to help your cat sleep through the night.

  • Elorie@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Some cats get lonely and it’s not about play, but knowing they have options. When I had a similar situation, my 3 year old cat pulled out her belly fur from stress, so I got her a new friend. Over grooming immediately stopped. It took several months for them to be friends, but my first cat was MUCH happier having another cat.