A conversation with my wife - eviltoast
    • Paddzr@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I had medical mutilation. I lost a lot of sensitivity down there. But it allows it to work and wife has been supportive in a country where it’s a rare thing.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        I don’t think anyone is arguing against it being done for medical reasons and especially on someone willing.

        • Paddzr@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          But I feel like I’m a rare breed of someone experiencing it and having years with “both” types. There’s a lot of curiosity from both camps because realistically, there’s little chance of anyone ever finding out which one is “better”. Honestly, both have pros and cons. I hope my comment puts people a bit at ease for having it forced upon them when they couldn’t say no and those who still can choose, don’t feel pressured into it or mislead by misinformation.

          • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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            6 months ago

            WOW. I can’t imagine the fear.

            I also feel like it’s impossible to learn about the lost sensitivity: in the half dozen posts I have seen over the years about non-babies being circumcised, they say the sensitivity lost isn’t as much as we circumcised suspect it was. I’m not doubting you. I just wish I knew what the proper amount of resentment about my parents having chosen this is.

            • Paddzr@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              I can tell you. It is a lot.

              But it’s not life altering and I do prefer it in a way, I’m not having issues finishing or anything like that. I had it done at a private hospital so it was done esthetically well. Very little scar tissue etc. But I wouldn’t make my son have one, that’s crazy. It happened and I had little choice in the matter. But it was conscious, body autonomy is important.

    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 months ago

      Yep. If an adult wants to do it, then it’s nobody else’s business. But parents shouldn’t be allowed to make a decision like that. An infant can’t be religious.

    • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 months ago

      Neither of my parents are or were religious, yet I have a scar there (not hyperbole, actually hurts if touched too much). I don’t know if foreskin is useful for anything in GRS, but if it is I’m gonna be pissed I don’t have any.

    • Zetta@mander.xyz
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      6 months ago

      I’m sorry parents and doctors are legally allowed to mutilate an infants sex organs. It’s honestly fucking disgusting, and tragic that you are one of the many victims.

      In a couple decades circumcision will likely be looked back on as one of the many barbaric practices that was common in the past, and I can’t wait for that day.

      • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
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        6 months ago

        In the US? The same country that just overturned Roe v Wade? Yeah, somehow I have my doubts they will rid themselves of the archaic genital mutilation. I would like to believe people in 2024 are also smart enough not to crop a dog’a ears or dock its tail or hell, breed the abominations like pugs and french bulldogs. But that is not the world we live in. The world we do live in is filled to the brim with idiots.

      • peteypete420@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        I realize that having it done as a newborn I’ll never really know, but mutilated? As an adult iv seen and played with those flesh danglers. Listen we are all humans and beautiful, but fucking hell I’m happy with mine. They are like one of those weird deep sea critters you see on nat geo or sciencememes.

        True, if I ever have a baby I’ll make the argument to the mom we SHOULD give the kid the choice… but I know that as a poor adult I would never do it now. But am happy it’s been done.

        I hate to sound like a “Liberal” talking about Palestine, but this may be a somewhat nuanced situation.

        • Zetta@mander.xyz
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          6 months ago

          The definition of mutilate is “inflict a violent and disfiguring injury on.”

          Circumcision being the forced removal of the most sensitive part of the males genitals, that literally disfigures it, I feel like saying it’s mutilation is just the correct use of the word.

          • cum@lemmy.cafe
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            6 months ago

            Disfigure means it’s left worse off. It’s literally more healthy and generally seen as more aesthetically pleasing. So no, that’s not the correct use of the word. That’s like saying cutting an umbilical cord is disfiguring lol.

            • Zetta@mander.xyz
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              6 months ago

              No it is not considered more healthy, and being more “aesthetically pleasing” may be the general consensus among religious nuts and other men who were multilated and have trouble dealing with that reality, but it is not based in fact when assessing the topic on a global scale.

              If you want to talk about healthy I hear that if you remove the penis entirely you can no longer get an STD. Maybe we should start doing that, since obviously it’s more healthy.

              An umbilical cord falls off naturally, it is not meant to stay with your body forever. Your foreskin however is the most sensitive part of your penis and is a permanent part of your body, so your comparison against an umbilical cord is unintelligent.

              • cum@lemmy.cafe
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                6 months ago

                You seem a little emotional so we can’t have an actual discussion, but I suggest you actually look at the studies that objectively prove it’s a health benefit. You won’t actually read them, but that’s what the current science determines. This is like when an anti vaxer gets too emotional when you show them actual objective evidence.

                • Zetta@mander.xyz
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                  6 months ago

                  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry you were multilated bro, you have shown no evidence. Link a research paper if you want to prove a point

        • Senshi@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          I’m curious, why are you “happy it’s been done”?

          I live in a country where we don’t perform this procedure out of tradition/religion, or at least not in the majority. I’m only aware of it being done for specific medical pathologies such as phimosis.

          Because I kind of agree with the sentiment that performing unwarranted surgeries on someone that is unable to voice his (non-)consent is an ethical problem. Even more so with excisions, which always are drastically and usually irrevocably diminishing the body.

          • peteypete420@sh.itjust.works
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            6 months ago

            I’m glad because I like how it looks and feels. Also, while I understand they are the exception not the rule, I have read about some men’s experience with them (the father of the 7 yr old in this comment thread for example) that make them sound either unconvienent or sometimes unpleasant. Never read anything similar from someone who’s been cut.

            And this question isn’t poised at you, but do the people who rail against it think Jewish people should stop the practice as well?

            • Senshi@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              I’ll still use the opportunity to voice my opinion clearly on this: Yes, forced circumcision on infants is only a very small step above the also still common practice of female genetic mutilations at birth/infancy. It does not matter what reasons you claim, only medical necessity should matter. Society should protect its infants from any religion or tradition demanding body modifications of infants.

              Leave people’s bodies alone until they can decide on their own what to do when there is zero proven medical benefit to doing it before without their informed consent.

              The common “improved hygiene” argument is nonsensical. You know what improves hygiene? Washing, and teaching kids how to wash themselves.

              Otherwise you could cut off ears using the same logic. No ears, no need to wash behind the ears.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 months ago

          i mean listen if it counts as female genital mutilation for females, it counts as genital mutilation for males. I see no reason it shouldn’t.

        • realitista@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          As someone who is circumcised and chose not to circumcise their son, I’m seeing that circumcision has a lot of benefits. My son’s foreskin has always been too tight and won’t still fully retract at 7 years old. We have to put cream on it every night. It needs a lot more thorough washing every day or else it gets discharge all over it. The care and maintenance on an uncircumcised penis is like 1000x that of a circumcised one. I never knew any difference, so I’m not sure what the downsides of having a circumcised one is.

          • ziggy@feddit.de
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            6 months ago

            That’s not normal. I have never had such problems. No special cleaning and cream needed. No smegma. Just pull it back and wash it like everything else. You should seek a doctor. It sounds like a medically induced circumcision would be a good idea.

            • realitista@lemm.ee
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              6 months ago

              We see doctors regularly and are trying to manage the problem without circumcision. You may have had problems when you were a kid too and just don’t remember it, it’s fairly common.

          • morhp@lemmynsfw.com
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            6 months ago

            Why would it need to retract at 7 years old? It really only needs to retract once you start to have sex.

            Stop messing with your son’s penis for god’s sake.

            • realitista@lemm.ee
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              6 months ago

              Pediatricians have timelines for these sort of things. And it can get infected under there.

              • morhp@lemmynsfw.com
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                6 months ago

                I’m not eating from the tip of my penis.

                Phimosis is completely physiological/natural for younger boys and actually helps to protect the head of the penis against infections.

                Source

                If it needs washing, you can just spray water from the shower head into the opening.

                But it’s also kinda like the vagina for girls. It doesn’t really need washing or special treatment unless it’s infected.

                In any case, messing with the penis of your son and making them feel unhygienic or like their foreskin is a problem is likely much more damaging than a little bit of smegma.

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  6 months ago

                  I’m not eating from the tip of my penis.

                  yes, and you aren’t doing the same from the nail gunk you accumulate i assume? Then we’re on the same page.

                  Literally just clean it like you do the rest of your body and you have no problems.

  • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    My mother scandalized the Navy nurses by refusing to allow me out of her sight for any reason including a circumcision. She said there was no need,.as she loved every part.if me, and wasn’t going to be staying in the hospital one second longer than necessary. The doctor had to shoo the nurse out of the room while she was objecting that was not standard procedure.

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    promise you’ll stop getting a circumcision? What? like it’s an ongoing decision like smoking cigarettes?

  • RubberElectrons@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I don’t hate my doctor or my parents for doing what they thought was a good idea at the time.

    I’m fine and I love both my parents just the same. Hopefully you can find peace as well.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 months ago

      if you should be mad at anything it’s society. Realistically it’s not even really a medical design, it’s more like “hey we do this thing sometimes, do you want it done?” And then a yes or no. Perhaps 20-40 years ago that was the case though.

      • RubberElectrons@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Honestly, missing a bit of dickskin is a lot less troubling to me then how hard we all work and have no real protection from the hurdles life sometimes throws at us.

        Who’s taking care of my elderly family, spread out across the states? My nephews have to choose between affording a home by both going to work, or actually raising their young kids. Where is our eldercare, our universal healthcare, our pre-k benefits?

        I have my reasons to gripe about society, and crazy as mutilating a baby under the pretense of health is, I don’t think it’s as deadly or dangerous to us all long term, as these oligarchs and their sycophants robbing us of our dues, enabled by an unregulated economy.

        The clock keeps ticking on the detonator.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 months ago

          i suppose thats the case but at the end of the day it’s all the same reason. People who shouldn’t be worried about your life, being worried about your life, and inevitably, causing you issues.

          One way or the other society progresses, either forwards, or forwards, or backwards. Doesnt matter what you do say or think it still happens.

  • RGB3x3@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    When is the body positivity movement going to acknowledge that men who have been circumcised are not broken? So much toxicity around this online. Every time this comes up, it’s just a bunch of people shaming guys who have been circumcised.

    • Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 months ago

      We arent shaming the guys but the parents. Being circuncised is not a condition that just happened. Its shitty parents mutilating their babies because they think it looks better.

      • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I strongly disagree. I did a not have shitty parents; they are wonderful.

        It was misinformation at the time. I HIGHLY DOUBT they were standing there looking at me thinking “his dick will look better without that extra piece of skin when he’s older”.

        Everyone has done something wrong due to misinformation with long lasting repercussions.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 months ago

          it can be done for health reasons, this is usually done later, after the fact. But i’m going to hedge a bet that the rate of circumcisions vastly over blows the rate of medically needed circumcisions.

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          There’s more intersex people, by magnitudes, than male children needing a circumcision for medical reasons. Least of all before puberty. Most of the time phymosis vanishes with mechanical stimulation alone, if it doesn’t then in all but a vanishingly small number of cases some testosterone salve does the rest.

          You’d be much better advised advocating for masturbators (as in pocket pussy) over bare hands, they’re mechanically superior not just when it comes to the foreskin but also when it comes to bad habits such as edging rope. I thought they had sex ed in Canada but apparently it’s just as bad as in the US.

      • kandoh@reddthat.com
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        6 months ago

        There’s constant slurs and jokes being thrown our waynat our expense. It’s a daily aspect of our lives.

        “Cut that out”

        “are you getting snippy with me?”

        “I’m afraid we’ll have to cut our time short”

        You probably don’t notice it unless you’ve been circumcised yourself.

        • deaf_fish@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          I assume there’s more context than just the statements. If someone randomly happens to use the word cut or snippy in a sentence, I don’t think that means they are making fun of a circumcision.

          • kandoh@reddthat.com
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            6 months ago

            Would you say the same thing to a black person who just opened up about racism they’ve experienced?

            You’re attempting to gaslight every circumcised male into believing it’s all in our heads.

            • deaf_fish@lemm.ee
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              6 months ago

              My dude, I’m circumcised.

              I don’t get out much, is this a thing that happens a lot? I guess I don’t openly declare I’m circumcised to my social group. So there’s no way that they would know. But if they did would they make that a big deal? I have a hard time imagining that they would even care.

              Are you sure this is a societal problem and not a friend group problem?

              • kandoh@reddthat.com
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                6 months ago

                The other day I saw my grocery store advertising that they were ‘slashing prices on sausages’. You’re telling me that’s not intentional?

                Just a coincidence I’m sure 😒

                • deaf_fish@lemm.ee
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                  6 months ago

                  I think it comes down to whether or not there is negative stigma with being circumcised.

                  We all have to set our own bar on this one, from my perspective, I don’t see that society really cares if a person is cut or uncut.

                  I would say that if this is causing problems for your life, then you should consider seeking therapy. Even if it turns out that society is gunning for you, getting help can make it easier to live in that society.

    • Discoverthemind@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Definitely don’t want to shame you. I myself was circumcised but I believe it is a complex issue, but down to brass tacks it is actually male genital mutilation.

  • SignorCadere@feddit.it
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    6 months ago

    Actually when you are circumcised you can feel that you are going to come, I mean I know for sure because I am. But it’s still a lot of fun xD (the meme is still fun)

    edit: I’m not understanding why this comment was downvoted. it’s just said something that to me is so, is it wrong? maybe I’m being punished for know-it-all? you don’t like the idea of being circumcised? i was circumcised when i was 2 years old and because otherwise i couldn’t pee

    I got a lot of shit for a very trivial comment, but what the fuck… what’s wrong with you guys?

    • Striker@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      I am pretty sure you can feel when you are about to cum regardless of circumcision status. That’s just how dicks Work. Ya know

    • shuzuko@midwest.social
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      6 months ago

      Fun fact, you can feel it when you’re uncut too. At least, my spouse has never not been able to warn me over 14 years together, so, that doesn’t seem like a good reason to mutilate kids’ dicks.

      • SignorCadere@feddit.it
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        6 months ago

        well sure it’s as you say. i’m just saying that. then as for me i was circumcised for medical reasons (i was pissing myself from all over) so i don’t really understand the point of your sentence honestly

        • noobnarski@feddit.de
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          6 months ago

          Have you ever tried just pulling it back a little bit before you pee?

          Thats what I do when its cold outside and I want to pee, but not on me.

        • ancap shark@lemmy.today
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          6 months ago

          You actually don’t seem to know (which surprised me), so I will tell you. I’m from Brazil, almost nobody here is circumcised. I can say for sure, everybody, circumcised or not, can feel they’re about to cum, that has nothing to do with having or not foreskin.

          There are people who report that being circumcised makes you a bit less sensitive so you last longer. I cannot confirm or deny that, although it makes sense. But feeling your about to cum is not an ability you unlock for being circumcised.

          You said in the edit that you don’t understand why you got so much push back. You got it because your comment is very confident in an absolutely wrong fact, that shows a very strong lack of understanding of other people

          • SignorCadere@feddit.it
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            6 months ago

            You actually don’t seem to know (which surprised me), so I will tell you. I’m from Brazil, almost nobody here is circumcised. I can say for sure, everybody, circumcised or not, can feel they’re about to cum, that has nothing to do with having or not foreskin.

            There are people who report that being circumcised makes you a bit less sensitive so you last longer. I cannot confirm or deny that, although it makes sense. But feeling your about to cum is not an ability you unlock for being circumcised.

            But I already knew this. What are we kidding

            You got it because your comment is very confident in an absolutely wrong fact, that shows a very strong lack of understanding of other people.

            There must have been a big misunderstanding. I certainly wasn’t bragging about being circumcised, but come on.

            • ancap shark@lemmy.today
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              6 months ago

              But I already knew this

              I certainly wasn’t bragging about being circumcised

              Actually when you are circumcised you can feel that you are going to come, I mean I know for sure because I am. But it’s still a lot of fun xD

              If you already knew, you weren’t bragging, and it was not satire, then what did it supposed to mean?

              • SignorCadere@feddit.it
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                6 months ago

                I honestly thought that whoever made the meme was trying to allude to the fact that those who are circumcised cannot feel when they are about to come, which is why I said it.

                Edit: The phrase “it’s sill a lot of fun” refers to the meme itself, not the act of fucking. I think that’s what made me think that I bragged about lasting a long time in bed.

    • Ignotum@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      It’s actually the other way around, the orgasm-sensor is actually located in the foreskin

      that’s where it gets the name, foresight-giving skin

      • SignorCadere@feddit.it
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        6 months ago

        I didn’t read what you wrote so thank you for not being an asshole (?) however others have been much more than you so relax, and I also miss the point of this whole thing. What bullshit lol

        • udon@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Just added a downvote because there were already 145 (wtf?) and I wanted to be part of it! Highest number I’ve seen here so far, congrats!

          I wonder how many others just thought it’s fun to jump on the downvote train. Nothing personal and there are worse things to worry about than a random count on a random website