For thursday’s sentencing the us government indicated they would be happy with a 40-50 prison sentence, and in the list of reasons they cite there’s this gem:
- Bankman-Fried’s effective altruism and own statements about risk suggest he would be likely to commit another fraud if he determined it had high enough “expected value”. They point to Caroline Ellison’s testimony in which she said that Bankman-Fried had expressed to her that he would “be happy to flip a coin, if it came up tails and the world was destroyed, as long as if it came up heads the world would be like more than twice as good”. They also point to Bankman-Fried’s “own ‘calculations’” described in his sentencing memo, in which he says his life now has negative expected value. “Such a calculus will inevitably lead him to trying again,” they write.
Turns out making it a point of pride that you have the morality of an anime villain does not endear you to prosecutors, who knew.
Bonus: SBF’s lawyers’ list of assertions for asking for a shorter sentence includes this hilarious bit reasoning:
They argue that Bankman-Fried would not reoffend, for reasons including that “he would sooner suffer than bring disrepute to any philanthropic movement.”
Holy FUCKING shit this cannot be real. No. He could not have written this.
My estimation of SBF as a wretch just fuckin plummeted.
‘Come out against the woke agenda’
I’m reminded of the person on twitter who went ‘Wonder when his sex crimes come out’ after Russell Brand rebranded as a conspiracy rightwinger. Note: This tweet was made before his sex crimes came out.
Notably missing: grabbing a couple of millions and run of to a non extradition country.
He is so sure he can get out on top that running away doesn’t even hit his brainstorm top 19 list. He doesn’t write the list on paper and burn it later, because for it to backfire he would need to fail.
Insane confidence man.
Might have been trying to avoid creating a situation where his lawyers are legally obligated to go against him, which I believe they would be if they knew he was planning on running. Though I could be wrong.
That would show a level of foresight we’ve never really seen from him, but ultimately no one knows.
These clowns are so fucking incompetent at being evil geniuses that they need a document outlining their Evil Plan™ and not once think how that might be a stupid idea.
at this point, multiple people involved in crypto have been famously caught with a
crimes.txtfile on their unencrypted desktop, in signal chats named some shit like financial crimes and real gamers clubhouse where they talk about the crimes and Fortnite they’re doing, or with toilet phones protected by ziplock bags with crime burner phone (with evidence of my crimes) written on the bag with a sharpieI suddenly feel like Hackerman because my PGP-encrypted file with Steam backup tokens is infinitely better secured than some crypto bro’s detailed confession of crimes that could land them jail for 50 years.
I wonder how much of this is hubris from the cryptocurrency assholes consistently trying to confuse the public into associating their horseshit with general cryptography (especially with the crypto abbreviation for both) and in the process gaslighting themselves into thinking they’re cryptography and computer security experts
This is why my
crimes.txtfile just contains the recipes that I really should not try making, like Jake Morgendorffer’s chile con cheesepuffs with fresh mint, and my actual crime plans are in… oh ho, I see what you did there, you clever jack-a-napes!
- Say you’re crazy
- Say they’re crazy
- Get muscular dystrophy when you’re a kid
- Marry J. Edgar Hoover
- Take up residence in Albania
- Stretch yourself on a rack so that you become over 6 1/2 feet tall
- Marry your mother
- Marry your father
- Blow up the state of liberty…
Hey I think some of these are pretty good ideas
https://archive.org/details/2917616.0001.001.umich.edu/page/3/mode/1up
- THE BASILISK WILL COME FOR YOU ALL
ah, it’s always fun when
the quiet part out loud CONFIDENTIAL.docxleaks. this sub-mediocre rich little jackass really did convince himself all he needed to do was control the narrative and flood Twitter with nonsense and he’d come out of this an unscathed alt-right grifter. what’s fucking amazing is that he still tried a bunch of these tactics (specifically #15 and a lot of the ones throwing shade on the bankruptcy team) even though the prosecution had this document the entire timethe sentencing is in five and a half hours and i can’t wait for SBF to try to get up and just explain one more time
if my real-life friends were cooler, I’d have already arranged a watch party, drinking game, and post-sentencing celebratory cocktails
fuck it, we’re doing cocktails
The SBF
- fill a highball glass to 2/3rds with ice and apple cider
- float a shot of Skrewball peanut butter whiskey on top
- to commemorate SBF’s long history of bad decisions, garnish with a serving of your choice of citrus-flavored THC drinkable
- don’t actually do the above step you will throw up in front of your disappointed family
breakfast of sneers
I am having an iced coffee with oat milk — a café oat lait, if you will.
Here’s my cocktail suggestion:
50 Shades (Sam Bankman) Fried:
Ingredients:
- 50 different liquors/liqueurs, as many different densities and colours as possible
Equipment:
- Transparent cylindrical urn with spigot
Steps:
- Sort the ingredients in decreasing order or liquid density.
- Pour 1/50th of the container capacity of each liquid in order into container, slowly and carefully to retain layers.
(Do not actually make this)
ah yes the diabetes potion (bulk of density difference in drinkable things is due to differing sugar content)
oh damn, I should watch
e: reuters has a stream up
The fucking comments on the live chat, lol.
I’d like to see him a free man. With his skill-set think of the contribution he could make
I would actually like to see him to less but use his knowledge to help other exchanges and crypto whales
Hope he gets the least amount of time
i feel bad for sam, i don’t think he’s a threat to society. only thing is they may want to make an example out of him
Ha, 2 hours later, comments are disabled.
what skill set. WHAT SKILL SET
@sc_griffith @mii he got rich, therefore he must be good at whatever he was doing. Please pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
probably the same kind muskies see in 'ole felon
lol it’s just a camera on the front of the building
yeah, realized afterwards that it’s probably the feed for press meet when they leave, as iirc US court doesn’t allow video or something
live tweet thread from innercitypress https://twitter.com/innercitypress/status/1773340043744010640
whacky to hear some of the comments dropped offhand by the door dudes tho
Here is the document that mentions EA as risk factor, some quotes below
Fourth, the defendant may feel compelled to do this fraud again, or a version of it, based on his use of idiosyncratic, and ultimately for him pernicious, beliefs around altruism, utilitarianism, and expected value to place himself outside of the bounds of the law that apply to others, and to justify unlawful, selfish, and harmful conduct. Time and time again the defendant has expressed that his preferred path is the one that maximizes his version of societal value, even if imposes substantial short term harm or carries substantial risks to others… In this case, the defendant’s professed philosophy has served to rationalize a dangerous brand of megalomania—one where the defendant is convinced that he is above the law and the rules of the road that apply to everyone else, who he necessarily deems inferior in brainpower, skill, and analytical reasoning.
That is so bizarre that I thought it was parody. I guess Poe’s Law applies to ratty effective altruists.
He also brainstormed ideas to rehabilitate his image, including “Go on Tucker Carlsen [sic], come out as a republican”, seek support from “random subgroups” including the alt-right or “some other displaced group”, “come out as extremely pro crypto, pro freedom”, embrace the narrative that “SBF died for our sins”, condemn the bankruptcy lawyers, or applaud the bankruptcy lawyers.
This person…he’s not fit to live in a normal society. He also planned to launche another crypto exchange after ftx. He’s going to do that again and again…if they let him free (they won’t)
embrace the narrative that “SBF died for our sins”
Huh? This is so absurdly self-aggrandizing that I struggle to comprehend what he’s even saying. What did he imagine “our sins” were, and how did getting imprisoned absolve them?
That confused me as well. Is he having a crisis or an episode fueled by some religios ideas?
I know nothing about this and have only seen some extremely obnoxious cryptobros on Twitter, but my guess of the narrative is that it would operate on SBF paving the way for them via doing crypto, where crypto is seen as rebellious against a rules-based, above board, banking order that’s trying to shut them out, keep them submissive and down, out of the game, etc.
Turns out being a fucking sociopath is a good indicator of reoffence, who would’ve thinkity thunked.
Give him 50 years of being forced to talk to a normal person that swats him in the head with a newspaper every time he says “expected value”, we can rehabilitate this boy.
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Want to be in charge of the US criminal justice system?
I have zero qualifications, but I’m also not a bloodthirsty vengeful old guy, so it’d probably be a net improvement.
Utilitarianism is just a vapid philosophy, and so gross.
morality of an anime villain
Plenty of anime villains would be insulted by this.
IANAL: His defense team must truly suck ass. To let the prosecution build the case that he is essentially amoral and profit driven is just baffling. To let SBF speak in any capacity at all is more baffling. The only way they could bungle this further is if they asked for more time than the prosecution was asking for.
There’s a limit to what anyone can achieve with this calibre of client. This is also his second defence team after the others refused to put up with his shit any more. He has a new, third defence team handling his appeal.
Is he the type of guy to go ‘wait if I just explain my stance more and more they will eventually understand’?
Did he try to Rationalist blogpost monologue his defence team because he also wanted to do that to the judge? The idea of him trying to verbose from first principles the law in his own defense sounds very funny to me. Poor lawyers
E: Officially perjured himself 3 times. Oof.
i expect that if you listened to the water pipes in MDC Brooklyn, you could hear SBF tapping out a full explanation of his crimes in Morse code, especially why it was all Caroline’s fault
Come on, that comes in the book soon to be released from prison. Also included in the book, how he is justified in hating books and all who read them as all his book smart lawyers gave him 30 years in prison on the appeal!
by Michael Lewis, published by Kindle Print
@dgerard @sneerclub he’s gonna start a Basilisk cult in prison, isn’t he. Get out in 25 years and head straight for the executive suite in the temple his followers will have built for him.
I expect we’ll soon hear the laments of how prison impacts ev, maybe combined with some utterly twisted argument for prison abolition (along with their own deeply fucked replacement suggestion)
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well, that’s certainly an “attempt was made”-grade opinion
the important point is that prison abolition should start with financial so-called “'”‘“crimes”’“'”,
@dgerard “B-B-BUT prison is meant to be for TEH POORS!! This is WRONG!!!”
oh god he totally will won’t he
If I remember correctly SBF taking the stand was completely against his lawyers’ recommendations, and in general he seems to have a really hard time doing what people who know better tell him to, such as don’t DM journalists about your crimes and definitely don’t start a substack detailing how you felt justified in doing them, and also trying to ‘explain yourself’ to prosecution witnesses is witness tampering and will get your bail revoked.
A really good lawyer carries duct tape
At several points, if Sam’s lawyer had jumped across the courtroom and knocked him out with a single punch to the face, it would have been best fulfilling their duty to their client and as officers of the court.
@swlabr @Architeuthis and a ball gag
Wonder if that gets taken into account if that was an example of ‘he does calculations in his head to do insane shit like not listen to his lawyers to shut the fuck up’.
“Almost all of the letters lamented the likelihood that victims will not be able to enjoy the gains on their crypto assets, as the bankruptcy proceedings are likely to pay out claims in dollars based on the price of Bitcoin and other assets on the date of bankruptcy ($16,871, in Bitcoin’s case) rather than their prices today (around $70,000, or over four times as much)” oh no what a shame
Your honor, My client caused no damages.
As clearly seen in the impact statements the only thing that was lost was crypto currencies and as they state they would have been held on to if not lost. By holding on to the crypto currencies, the victims shows a common delusion in the crypto sphere, namely that crypto has value. In all certainty they would have held on until said crypto was lost, stolen or had collapsed. The true expected value was zero.
“SBF died for our sins”. “Archangel LTD”.
Oh my what a humble and altruistic boy genius.
ACAB and abolish prisons, but we can leave finance cops and SBF until quite late in the process
come the fabulous gay luxury space communism future, when scarcity itself becomes all but obsolete, we will absolutely have to make it clear that, at the mind-buggeringly long and rambling cadre meetings discussing the disbursement of the few items that remain restricted, Sam’s opinion is not invited
“what will you do after the revolution” “I’ll be telling sam bankman fried to shut the fuck up”
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The One Who Annoys The Shit Out Of That Kid In Omelas
“Only” 25 years. Oh, well.
quite an underwhelming choice, that one :/
I remember people convinced his big donations to Democrats would enable him to walk.
Edit I’m pretty sure those same people are gonna defend the judge’s opinion that SBF is the worst defendant he’s ever met with the fact he’s autistic.
I certainly find it aggravating!
What is the thumbnail? Asofterworld?
which thumbnail? not seeing it from my client/interface
SBF is a patsy for citadel
The info will come to light very soon 🤣
