In my experience HR speak comes from one of two places: either she’s actively controlling her emotions, or she’s scared of you. Usually the former, but I’ve seen the latter in friends. “Dude is mentally unstable, armed, and bad at boundaries, time to word an email like HR explaining very clearly what you’re allowed to do and not”
I hadn’t heard but I desperately wish I lived in a world where incidents like this were surprising
My tone was largely to avoid getting into an argument with the men who’ve received that tone. I’m entirely certain that if the man I’m referring to saw my comment he’d both get offended and assume he’s in the former (if he’s stopped blaming her friends for turning her against him)
As a male, it’s somewhat our jobs to teach the next generation that this behavior is not okay.
Not saying you have to be super active about it, but it’s no wonder some women are afraid of men. They’re much stronger and sometimes just straight up unhinged from generations of telling other men to stfu, man up, and go to war to fight for your country for no reason.
It’ll take a few more generations, but I really do hope we can break this cycle of abuse. It does kind of help that women have become smarter with their rights and they’re not going to reproduce with these types of men, but clearly the issue is still relevant because rejection could lead to death.
Dude, I’m a woman. And yeah random men are routinely terrifying out of nowhere. The only reason I don’t do the HR speak thing is because a) I don’t date men by nature of being a married lesbian and b) if I don’t feel safe calling you out on your bullshit I avoid you before I have to call you out on your bullshit. My time and safety are too valuable.
Exactly this. As a dude, I sometimes feel like I have to be the one to stand up and say something because I have more authority in THEIR minds. I swear some guys just hear women speaking as white noise.
It’s not generational trauma, as much as it is an attempt to feel powerful. It’s common for male macaques, chimpanzees, gorilla’s to assert dominance through violence. Especially when they don’t get their way. Females developed behaviors to avoid/combat male aggression. Such as simply letting a male mount them to avoid getting bitten more. It’s not forced copulation if you cooperate! That’s how chimps do. Who incidentally have the highest rates of violence against females of any primate. Which is impressive considering how violent they already are.
And humans are no different.
Women developed multiple behaviours that lower male aggression specifically. Crying and smiling both lower male aggression. Hence why women smile more and especially when nervous. Or cry more easily in stressful situations. Every girl I grew up with, was always cautious about rejecting a boy’s advances to avoid getting them angry. And so are the women, for good reason.
Men don’t just have a greater capacity for violence. They are more violent.
In my experience HR speak comes from one of two places: either she’s actively controlling her emotions, or she’s scared of you. Usually the former, but I’ve seen the latter in friends. “Dude is mentally unstable, armed, and bad at boundaries, time to word an email like HR explaining very clearly what you’re allowed to do and not”
Literally 3 days ago, twins who were being cat called, one was stabbed to death because she rejected him.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/mar/18/twin-sisters-stabbed-new-york-brooklyn-deli
I hadn’t heard but I desperately wish I lived in a world where incidents like this were surprising
My tone was largely to avoid getting into an argument with the men who’ve received that tone. I’m entirely certain that if the man I’m referring to saw my comment he’d both get offended and assume he’s in the former (if he’s stopped blaming her friends for turning her against him)
As a male, it’s somewhat our jobs to teach the next generation that this behavior is not okay.
Not saying you have to be super active about it, but it’s no wonder some women are afraid of men. They’re much stronger and sometimes just straight up unhinged from generations of telling other men to stfu, man up, and go to war to fight for your country for no reason.
It’ll take a few more generations, but I really do hope we can break this cycle of abuse. It does kind of help that women have become smarter with their rights and they’re not going to reproduce with these types of men, but clearly the issue is still relevant because rejection could lead to death.
Dude, I’m a woman. And yeah random men are routinely terrifying out of nowhere. The only reason I don’t do the HR speak thing is because a) I don’t date men by nature of being a married lesbian and b) if I don’t feel safe calling you out on your bullshit I avoid you before I have to call you out on your bullshit. My time and safety are too valuable.
Exactly this. As a dude, I sometimes feel like I have to be the one to stand up and say something because I have more authority in THEIR minds. I swear some guys just hear women speaking as white noise.
It’s not generational trauma, as much as it is an attempt to feel powerful. It’s common for male macaques, chimpanzees, gorilla’s to assert dominance through violence. Especially when they don’t get their way. Females developed behaviors to avoid/combat male aggression. Such as simply letting a male mount them to avoid getting bitten more. It’s not forced copulation if you cooperate! That’s how chimps do. Who incidentally have the highest rates of violence against females of any primate. Which is impressive considering how violent they already are.
And humans are no different.
Women developed multiple behaviours that lower male aggression specifically. Crying and smiling both lower male aggression. Hence why women smile more and especially when nervous. Or cry more easily in stressful situations. Every girl I grew up with, was always cautious about rejecting a boy’s advances to avoid getting them angry. And so are the women, for good reason.
Men don’t just have a greater capacity for violence. They are more violent.
Correct. That’s the nature of it, now add generational trauma on top and you get our current society. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.