The two sides of Lemmygrad - eviltoast
  • SadArtemis🏳️‍⚧️@lemmygrad.ml
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    8 months ago

    On one hand yes, on the other hand- I’m aware it may be rooted in classist, ableist, problematic influences- and having been homeless, having worked manual labor jobs, having struggled with mental health and continuing to struggle, etc- I think I can say I “get it” on some degree- but stinking is a line I feel I will never allow myself to cross, certainly not past whatever short instance if any occurs where I can then shower and get a change of clothes- and it I suppose is also privilege that thankfully, I have never had to go without beyond- at the worst instance one sole time- a week on the streets in the tropical sun years ago, outside of which I have only had such issues of lack of access, overnight or a day or two.

    I was raised poor, still am though I hope to better my lot. My family had a whole bunch of classist and ableist stigmas, particularly around mental health. Perhaps I can’t move past that with myself- and I also, while treating those who fall short of it with decency- simply do not like the smell of particularly bad B.O. And I suppose being east Asian I feel at least a bit fortunate for my genes, which I’d assume along with my preferred lifestyle tend to leave me far less stinky than if I were not. But stinking is a line that even at my lowest, to whatever ability I can (manual labor/etc would be understandable in the moment), I dare not cross. It’s one line in the sand of many that I have drawn for myself- because as I tell myself, I have suffered enough indignities in life- “dignity,” however classist and ableist it may be defined in my personal hangups about it, is important to me- and having a bad B.O. would be a step too far, falling into the abyss to me.

    No offense to those who do. But I just can’t, myself. I won’t shame anyone for it or treat them with any less decency, and no doubt in countries or regions where water is in short supply I could see things getting bad even for myself- but it’s a line I don’t want to cross and will resist to the best of my ability.