And I pretended that I could not hear from him. He tried calling me back, but I did not pick up the call. I know, asshole move, but what the fuck am I supposed to tell him?
“Hey, it’s been about a year, and I’m totally not fucking jobless for about a year and a half, and that I’ve totally not wasted my time on contributing to open-source projects, and that I’ve absolutely not gone insane by sitting inside my room all alone, trying to work on side projects, which are still incomplete? Hahahaha, no I’m not weird.”
I guess he just wanted to wish me a Happy New Year, and ask how I was doing. Except that it was just a new year, just like it was, about a year ago, without the happy part. Lol, and I deleted all the phone numbers on my mobile, including his.
You should talk to people. Even if you have nothing positive to report. Just the social interaction is important
Exactly, maybe even a new opportunity can come from it. If someone goes through the trouble of calling back, that must mean something good
“ugh. What does this person want from me since they can’t give me anything of value!” Such selfish behaviour. Op thinks they’re better than them therefore not worth their time.
Edit. I misread OP’s quotations as his friends, not his own. Apologies
I get the exact opposite vibe from what OP wrote. That they feel embarrassed that they don’t have anything “impressive” or something “good” to report to their old friend. Sounds to me like OP doesn’t feel good enough, compared to their old friend.
You know what… You might be right and i completely misread it.
Nothing wrong with admitting to struggles. Shit gets hard sometimes and not everyone makes it 100% of the time.
No one cares if you’re not as successful as you think you should be. How much time do you devote to thinking about anyone else’s careers? 25 seconds a week, if that? Same applies from them regarding you.
I think it’s honorable of you of working on these open source projects. You can absolutely finish some of your side projects too
“Hey, it’s been about a year, and I’m totally not fucking jobless for about a year and a half, and that I’ve totally not wasted my time on contributing to open-source projects, and that I’ve absolutely not gone insane by sitting inside my room all alone, trying to work on side projects, which are still incomplete? Hahahaha, no I’m not weird.”
Don’t listen to me if i am off base, but it sounds to me like you have a chance to talk with someone you have made a real connection to in this fucked up world and did not simply from shame. What have you done to be ashamed about?
I feel like maybe you’re feeling bad for not measuring up to some standard you have set for yourself, yet your passion projects show me you have been busy doing something you feel is important.
Where is the wasted time? What exactly is it you feel you must have completed in this time to have it notbe a waste?
I don’t believe in the wasting of time, and i firmly dismiss the idea that you are what you do for a living, especially in this time and age where many jobs have had most of what makes them fulfilling stripped away from them.
You, in the meantime have found a way towards food and shelter while working on something that matters to you, and you’re keeping sane in an insane fucking world. Im not blowing smoke when i tell you to be proud of this. I envy you. Be proud of the choices you have made. You made them. Do not balk just because you believe the world will judge you. You haven’t even given your friend a chance!
We’re all going crazy my brother, and we need other people more than ever.
So listen up mister. You call him back right now.
Yeah. This is the good advice
Life is hard. You may not feel like talking to people about it but you’ll be surprised how understanding people can be. The situation you are in right now can’t change if you don’t make a change. Easier said than done I know, but you’ve got to get a bit uncomfortable to improve. If that means talking to someone and admitting you’re in a bad spot, so be it, for all you know that friend of yours may know of an opportunity for you.
Keep programming every day, get your green squares, and apply for 3 jobs every day, spending 5 minutes on two of the apps and 15 on the third. Things are tough right now, but if you do that you will get through.
And as others said, talk to people. You are not alone, and the people who still post on social media are posting about how lucky they are, not how good.
For any necro readers, I just want to add, this is good advice but completely out of touch on one point.
You should absolutely not be spending 15min per job app. This is how you end up permanently unemployed.
Curating your resume and cover letter to suit the needs of the position takes an hour at minimum.
The job search is hell, but shotgunning applications just makes it a longer hell.
Nobody I’ve known has ever been able to complete school and program a damned thing. You’ve got a hell of a lot more shots at a good life than most people. Don’t waste it thinking about what others think of you. And don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.
