Hypothetical situation time. You and your SO have an unresolved disagreement and are very angry at each other. It’s late and you’re both exhausted from a long day. You have two primary options: try to resolve it now or wait until you’re better rested.
Assuming all of these things are true, I (and my therapist) would suggest attempting to resolve it immediately gives you the greatest likelihood of an unproductive conversation that goes off the rails and pisses everyone off even more. Waiting until both parties are better rested gives you the best chance of a productive, mutually beneficial conclusion since your mental faculties will perform better…but you’ll be going to bed angry.
Anecdotally, my wife and I go to bed angry at each other on occasion. We’ve both learned to put shit on pause and get back to it later, sometimes days later, because intellectually we know we love each other and waiting will lead to a better conclusion, even if emotionally we’re just two dumb apes who really want to throw down.
Ahh, context of the original “Don’t go to bed angry.” would have made this a little more obvious. I was thinking it had something to do with people believing that going to bed angry over something was somehow physically bad for you.
Hypothetical situation time. You and your SO have an unresolved disagreement and are very angry at each other. It’s late and you’re both exhausted from a long day. You have two primary options: try to resolve it now or wait until you’re better rested.
Assuming all of these things are true, I (and my therapist) would suggest attempting to resolve it immediately gives you the greatest likelihood of an unproductive conversation that goes off the rails and pisses everyone off even more. Waiting until both parties are better rested gives you the best chance of a productive, mutually beneficial conclusion since your mental faculties will perform better…but you’ll be going to bed angry.
Anecdotally, my wife and I go to bed angry at each other on occasion. We’ve both learned to put shit on pause and get back to it later, sometimes days later, because intellectually we know we love each other and waiting will lead to a better conclusion, even if emotionally we’re just two dumb apes who really want to throw down.
Ahh, context of the original “Don’t go to bed angry.” would have made this a little more obvious. I was thinking it had something to do with people believing that going to bed angry over something was somehow physically bad for you.