Epistemic status: Speculation. An unholy union of evo psych, introspection, random stuff I happen to observe & hear about, and thinking. Done on a highly charged topic. Caveat emptor!
oh boy
archive: https://archive.is/uOP4y
Epistemic status: Speculation. An unholy union of evo psych, introspection, random stuff I happen to observe & hear about, and thinking. Done on a highly charged topic. Caveat emptor!
oh boy
archive: https://archive.is/uOP4y
no, not really. bakeries you say?
oh. ok. flour sifters, man, yeah, those things are crazy.
I just can’t get over the “struggling with a flour sifter” bit. Like … what’s there to struggle with? What accessory would help a person locked in combat with a flour sifter? Another flour sifter, to intimidate the first with the knowledge that it can be replaced?
@blakestacey @Amoeba_Girl
A Tactical Flour Sifter, made for men.
“Because, Lana, I care about the fluffiness of my baked goods.”
@blakestacey
“It’s a family heirloom, Lana. A 17th century zweihander flour sifter.”
“with a device he purchased to help her out” is such an extremely load bearing sentence in there
The whole goddamn example is batshit, but that one really did it for me
It continues to amaze me these people are real
I’m picturing some kind of flour-sifting Juicero-type smart device
It sifts the flour in all the right places, if you get his hint.
Its $700, looks like it was engineered by NASA and does the same amount of work as squeezing your hand?
also, if you do this in a bakery you’ll probably get written up for violating food service regulations cause you brought in a random consumer-grade prep item that could’ve easily contaminated everything with bacteria or allergens. plus if you procure the item through work, everyone gets to use it instead of just you and the coworker you’re trying to fuck on top of a birthday cake???
but “I got written up for an obvious health code violation” hits a lot different from “woe is men, everything is sexual harassment now”
whenever I hear the “everything is sexual harassment now” from some of these fuckers I think of the joke:
felt like it started off relatively normal, gradually got weirder and more reactionary, and then the bakery bit was where it was clear this dude is from another planet. imagine a bakery… but with both men and women in it. imagine the roiling, all consuming sexual tension. fuck! we can’t handle this
@sc_griffith It’s true. The bakery just down the road has both male and female staff and it’s really pretty inconvenient that every time I go in I have to ask if they’d mind taking a quick break from the constant fucking in order to serve me. And don’t mention the time I asked if they had “a couple of nice floury baps for me”.
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Wouldn’t a Hallmark movie be about a young woman from the big city who finds love and fulfillment when she has to return to her small hometown and manage the local bakery, including the wacky antics of its mixed-sex staff?
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“Hey,” Blakeston said, “thought you could use a hand.” Rachel looked up from the flour sifter and her eyes widened. Blakeston was holding a large, complicated looking assemblage of tubes, with fans over one end. Could it be…
“You have a flour sifting accessory?” Rachel asked, her voice stunned. “Those are impossible to find!”
“I know,” Blakeston said, “it took weeks to find this one and another few weeks to fix it up. I just couldn’t see you struggling with the old flour sifter day after day. Here, I’ll set it up.” Rachel moved aside and Blakeston stepped in, straining as he pushed the assemblage into her flour sifter. His strong muscles glistened under the skin of his forearms. How have I never noticed that before? Rachel thought.
Blakeston stood up, assemblage complete, and turned the crank once - just once. The fans whirred, the tubes rattled, and just like that, the flour was sifted.
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I’m only here for the love triangle episodes with the gruff but lovable bakery owner portrayed by Nathan Fillion who’s not yet over the heartbreak of his wife’s passing (crushed by unsifted flour) but I can fix him
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As Rachel unlocked the door to Chez Mixte the next day, she felt something different. At first, she couldn’t figure out what. Everything that had appeared antiquated and unsophisticated now had a special glow. She had once looked at pastries like Blake’s orteils de gopher, which had been setting overnight, and thought them no better than animal crackers. Now, they seemed full of animal passion.
For the first time, she picked one up and bit into it. Flaky, and Blake’s cream tasted so good on her tongue. Sweet, but not too sweet. A thought popped into her head. Blake had started posting gym selfies five weeks ago. That was about when he had started looking for a flour sifting accessory. Had he been trying to… impress her?
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@sc_griffith @Amoeba_Girl
I don’t know, I worked at a Dunkin’ Donuts when they still did baking in store, and there were male and female employees. I’m not saying there was NO fucking going on, but I wasn’t lucky enough to witness any let alone participate.
Sexual tension in a bakery was a plotline in season 1 of tuca and bertie.
This has major “because of the implication” energy.
wait… does this chud think bakeries are gendered?
nytpitchbot: first we had breadtube, now this
wingnutthought leader wants to make people aware of breadsexualsdeleted by creator
Dude had to specify everyone was straight to get this because yeah in the real world anyone could be attracted to anyone and yeah. Make everyone gay and the situation reverses.
it is well known that interpersonal conflict only happens between potential partners. and in bakeries.
I was not clicking op, this is the kind of comments I came for, you made me actually lol, thanks! 😂
Also, is there a /MenAndFemales yet? 🤔
Never, under any circumstances, sift this guy’s flour.