This is part of the problem of our current political climate. I don’t know how you can constitute ‘not bullying’ as ‘accepting them’, but the complete lack of nuance in every conversation is what drives radicalization.
You can’t ‘bully’ transphobes into being an ally. That’s not how people work.
I get it. Transphobes are pieces of shit with the most punchable faces. But when you find yourself staring down into one, you need to ask yourself if you are going say what feels good and right to you, or what will make them just a little less transphobic to the next trans person they meet.
Deradicalization doesn’t happen overnight. It may take transphobes a hundred, ten, or even just one trans person to show them undeserved kindness before they realize they were wrong.
I’m not saying it’s anyone’s job to do this. I’m saying that sometimes, maybe a trans person or an ally may be having a good day and find it in themselves to deal with transphobic bullshit just to show transphobes that they are the better person. If they do, I’m saying that we shouldn’t ruin all the progress and emotional labor they’ve invested in by bullying the transphobe.
That only works if they don’t have the Internet to fall back on. Once someone loses their support group they tend to glom on to whatever will have them, and if only bad people will have you you will become a worse person.
In one I’m sure very rare instance, I was able to get my dad to understand why the things he had said were hurtful. Though I guess his type might be less radicalized and more just plain ignorant. Doesn’t excuse transphobia of course but sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, education does the trick.
Accepting them sure fucking doesn’t either
This is part of the problem of our current political climate. I don’t know how you can constitute ‘not bullying’ as ‘accepting them’, but the complete lack of nuance in every conversation is what drives radicalization.
You can’t ‘bully’ transphobes into being an ally. That’s not how people work.
I get it. Transphobes are pieces of shit with the most punchable faces. But when you find yourself staring down into one, you need to ask yourself if you are going say what feels good and right to you, or what will make them just a little less transphobic to the next trans person they meet.
Deradicalization doesn’t happen overnight. It may take transphobes a hundred, ten, or even just one trans person to show them undeserved kindness before they realize they were wrong.
I’m not saying it’s anyone’s job to do this. I’m saying that sometimes, maybe a trans person or an ally may be having a good day and find it in themselves to deal with transphobic bullshit just to show transphobes that they are the better person. If they do, I’m saying that we shouldn’t ruin all the progress and emotional labor they’ve invested in by bullying the transphobe.
So, passively ostracise them. Duh.
That only works if they don’t have the Internet to fall back on. Once someone loses their support group they tend to glom on to whatever will have them, and if only bad people will have you you will become a worse person.
In one I’m sure very rare instance, I was able to get my dad to understand why the things he had said were hurtful. Though I guess his type might be less radicalized and more just plain ignorant. Doesn’t excuse transphobia of course but sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, education does the trick.