The fun police - eviltoast
  • teft@startrek.website
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    1 year ago

    Imagine you’re shopping and you pull out a towel from the rack and there is just a whole stoner back behind there chilling. /shudders

    • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Hey, I found a stoner tucked away in the men’s jeans in Wal-Mart, 50% off.

      Decided to take him home, and it’s been a great decision! He takes care of the couch, he’s always down to play some Smash, he’ll even let me win.

      All it cost me was watching one Pauly Shore movie a week. Tomorrow’s Encino Man!

    • Dettweiler@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’ve noticed a lot of media outlets like to add a zero here and there when reporting.
      A mix of 300 people could fill the IKEA parking lot. 3000 is an entire cruise ship.

      • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You piqued my interest so I went to look it up. Average Ikea is 300k sf. So obviously omitting the fact that there are areas of the store that are off limits (although are you following those rules when you’re playing hide and seek?), as well as there being furniture everywhere, that’s 100 square feet per person, which I think is doable. Especially considering, if I’m playing hide and seek at IKEA, I’m hiding in the furniture.

        • FarraigePlaisteach@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          ”if I’m playing hide and seek at IKEA, I’m hiding in the furniture”

          You just showed your best hand. I can’t protect you now.

        • dan1101@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          That would be a 10x10 foot square for each person, that building would be pretty crowded once you take the shelves and merchandise into account.

          • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            So occupancy is, firstly, based off classification. An IKEA would presumably be M under the UCC (Uniform Construction Code). Capacity is determined using the amount of exits and distance to those exits. You can have a million square foot building, but if there’s only one door, you’re going to be limited to 50 peoples. That’ll obviously never happen, but just an example.

            Mercantile can range from as few as 30sf per person to as many as 300 sf per person. Assuming this Ikea is on ground level, has a bunch of doors, I think you can safely use 60sf per person (10x6 area), which would allow for about a bajillion people in a 300k square foot IKEA.

            That load is kind of in the middle. There are uses that require greater separation distances, like hospitals and other institutional uses, and then some that require less. I threw out 100sf per person, because 10x10 is honestly a bunch of room for your average person. I think you could reasonably do some cartwheels in a 10x10, and to me the cartwheel is a great demonstration of personal space. If you can cartwheel, you’re good to go. What more do you want?

            • squiblet@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              Interesting, thanks. Much of it is warehouse space that isn’t open to customers, though. Not sure what proportion the shopping floor would be - 2/3? Plus the products on the showfloors take up a great deal of room.

  • darthsid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I mean it would be pretty bad for the staff and the customers who just want to buy shit

    • AlternatePersonMan@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Might be decent exposure for the store though. It’s pretty easy to see stuff at IKEA and be like yeah, I have been meaning to pick up a new wobbly stool. Better grab some weird candy too.

      • Nepenthe@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Which is an argument for management not to complain. The staff can still complain. Thousands of meme-y randos fucking up the store, deliberately getting underfoot at my job for a joke, and the proposed reward for that is maybe it will attract more people? To disregard the likelihood of another rendition of the same stunt, if it’s well-received.

        Gonna be blunt. My best days were the ones without customers in them, and I don’t get paid more if there are.

        • GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network
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          1 year ago

          Anyone who’s worked retail knows this is truth. Although working a double when the mall was dead was pretty bad too

          Actually just fuck retail jobs

      • lud@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Lol.

        A slightly fun fact is that apparently you can’t buy multi-packaged furniture without picking every package up since the point of sale terminal will refuse to complete the purchase if you don’t scan all the packages of a product. Pretty smart actually. I haven’t tested this myself so it might be wrong.

  • 257m@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Why aren’t there paid services for hide and seek? Like a bunch if furniture, walls, shelves and what not and put it in a big warehouse. Have people pay to participate and play whatever games they want in there. You can have massive organized events and everything. Imagine massive game of manhunt in there with electronic devices to show who’s it.

  • Pat_Riot@lemmy.today
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    1 year ago

    I’ve played hide and seek every single time I have been in an IKEA. We never got more than 20 people together though.

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    How can 3,000 people possibly be hiding in there?

    odds are you’re going to see someone.

    And how do you distinguish hide and seek participants with casual unwitting shoppers?

  • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    All you need now is to lock the doors, turn off the lights, and tell everyone that the story is closing.