Anon imagining a giant, insurmountable gap between his life and his coworker’s life is a huge part of the problem.
He has a job, goes to the gym and apparently he is able to experience emotions. Also, a seemingly well-adjusted person inviting him home immediately suggests he is able to make a good and trustworthy impression.
He can jump the gap easily, he just doesn’t know it, so he’s timidly staring to the other side and imagining what it must be like to live there.
If you think you’re flawed, unattractive and unworthy of love, you can easily remain untouched way into your adult life, just by sabotaging yourself.
Let’s be honest here, given that we have a partial, biased peek into anon’s life, there could be a myriad of reasons that make that apparently small gap a far more serious problem. He may have a notoriously ugly face or body, he may suffer from heavy anxiety at the tought is becoming intimate with another person as a result of trauma, he may have atypical nonverbal communication, he may not want to form a connection with someone he doesn’t really have much in common with, he might be a mysoginist. These possibilities would limit his options a lot, and looking for someone when you’re supposedly doing everything right but still having so much trouble is painful.
If not saying Anon shouldn’t look for tools to actually find a partner if he wants to put in that effort, but that we shouldn’t underestimate his difficulties.
Anon imagining a giant, insurmountable gap between his life and his coworker’s life is a huge part of the problem.
He has a job, goes to the gym and apparently he is able to experience emotions. Also, a seemingly well-adjusted person inviting him home immediately suggests he is able to make a good and trustworthy impression.
He can jump the gap easily, he just doesn’t know it, so he’s timidly staring to the other side and imagining what it must be like to live there.
If you think you’re flawed, unattractive and unworthy of love, you can easily remain untouched way into your adult life, just by sabotaging yourself.
He is looking over the fence seeing the grass being greener.
But doesn’t notice the gate
Well sometimes you need help to see that gate. If he has not seen the gate yet then how will he magically see it now until it is pointed out
Of course, the gate may just look like a fence to them.
Let’s be honest here, given that we have a partial, biased peek into anon’s life, there could be a myriad of reasons that make that apparently small gap a far more serious problem. He may have a notoriously ugly face or body, he may suffer from heavy anxiety at the tought is becoming intimate with another person as a result of trauma, he may have atypical nonverbal communication, he may not want to form a connection with someone he doesn’t really have much in common with, he might be a mysoginist. These possibilities would limit his options a lot, and looking for someone when you’re supposedly doing everything right but still having so much trouble is painful.
If not saying Anon shouldn’t look for tools to actually find a partner if he wants to put in that effort, but that we shouldn’t underestimate his difficulties.
Also, maybe he has body dismorphia which destroys his self confidence and therefore limits his contact to women even more.