it’s very hard for me

I see

If it’s actually affecting your health, I’d suggest talking with a doctor about it

Seek a therapist who practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”

Get rid of free time. Commit yourself to some project that involves both the body and mind. Bicycling or running + listening to useful audiobooks might be one.

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Well, for now I recommend you to filter out all NSFW here on Lemmy LMAO, I see porn here even when I’m not looking for it.

Around 35yo should change and your libido will fall. It is an addiction planned to fail by itself.

Like any other habit or addiction, being mindful helps. I have quit smoking cigarettes and alcohol (uh, multiple times) by trying to stop myself when I start or am thinking about it by reminding myself of why I don’t want to do it. With cigarettes and alcohol, one might think “wow, I really want to go to the store and buy some”. It’s very hard to consume either one if you don’t have any, though, so I try to stop myself right then by remembering how many times before I’ve thought that I didn’t want to do either one. Generally if I can just stop myself from leaving to go get some, I can get over the urge. Then repeat as needed.

You are probably not horny every time you fap. That means you fap/watch porn to feel better or distract yourself from something.

Figure out why you fap/consume porn when you are not horny. Deal with that problem.

Go cold turkey with porn/fapping. There will be ups and downs but after about 3 weeks you will be ok. If you can last 2-3 months you will feel 100 times better (like gettig a hard on whne you see a (not even a very hot) girl on a street). After that you can go back to normal but only fap when you are horny. Dont look at porn, it will mess you up.

1. Reflect often on the problems that result from it.

2. Find other engaging things to do with your time, e.g. rigorous exercise is often satisfying.

3. Try breathing meditation, not primarily for any “spiritual” benefits, but to occupy your mind (since you can do it everywhere) and to achieve some peace.

4. Try mindfulness meditation to reduce friction with life.

Be prepared for things to get “worse”. Whenever you stop indulging in an addiction, the problems that were being covered up by the addiction come back into awareness and this “emergence” of deep and serious problems can seem like your life is getting way worse.

In fact experience wise it’s exactly the same. Phenomenologically speaking, you life does get worse when you free yourself from an addiction.

So think of it like a magic spell. Think of it like you’re in a magic prison except instead of iron bars surrounding you, you have a magic circle. If you step outside the magic circle, deep bleeding wounds will appear on your body. Stepping back inside the magic circle will make the wounds close up and stop bleeding.

In this analogous scenario, to escape the magic circle you must resolve to accept the wounding of your body. And in real life to escape the addiction you must resolve to accept wounds into your life.

The wounds are already there; they’re the reason you are running the addiction program. But they are hidden, and will reappear, and experientially that’s indistinguishable from them happening to you fresh.

So be ready to be hurt and horrified by the awareness lurking just outside your cloud of addiction. There’s trauma there that you will need to face and process.

Every time you want to fap, do 10 pushups.

Can’t do 10 pushups, do what you can then revert to an easier version and do 10 more (example, let’s say you can do 1 or 2, then go and do knee pushups and do 10 more).

Exercise releases chemicals and if you keep doing exercise you can get a pump, Arnold described it feeling as good as cumming - https://youtu.be/-xZQ0YZ7ls4

try making a conscious effort to get out of the house more and do more social stuff. There’s websites like meetup where you can meet folks with similar interests. Making real connections with other people and/or finding satisfaction in pursuing your interests will fill some of the hole which your fapping is trying to cover over. Also you won’t have as much time to yourself so it won’t be possible!

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Have you tried not pooping for three days?