Why do we have to have these conversations? Because well-meaning (and some not so well meaning) men thought it was a good idea to warn women about the things women do and wear that force those men to think about assaulting women. Of course, they would never do such a thing, but they assume that rape and sexual assault could be avoided, or at least minimized, if women would stop teasing men so much.

And then there’s a whole subclass of men who prefer to control women, and use examples of rape and sexual assault to demonstrate to the women they want to control that freedom has consequences. So whenever a woman is attacked, they blame her for refusing to follow the rules established by a Godly man.

So every so often, we get a list of “suggestions” that sound like common sense self-preservation instincts, but belie a subtext that is equal parts horrific and misogynist. Things like don’t leave your drink unattended (because men drug and rape women) or travel in groups (because men isolate and rape women) or don’t wear provocative clothing (because a horny man cannot help but rape a woman).