30 year old male, divorced last year after 9 years. Got dumped because I drink too much apparently. She was supposed to move back to her home country but ended up staying in this city.
I’m a member of the music scene and so is she so all my friends are her friends. So naturally because I’m not the pretty one, she gets all sympathy and I’m now a lonely motherfucker rejected by a lot of people I once called friends.
She hooked up with a dude who is an actual drug addict and last night. While trying to watch the band, they’re making out like 5ft behind me. I shouldnt care because these people are quite literally losers compared to me but I guess I’m jealous someone cares about her and nobody cares about me.
When I went home last night alone I actually thought about ending things. I don’t really know what to do going forwards. Do I just end my hobby of music because I can’t deal with my jealousy? Every gig she is there and she’s got a line of guys wanting to be with her while I’m left to rot alone.
Should I sell my house and quit my job and move? That’s what I was up all night pondering. I feel as if this place is too small for the both of us, and she won.
I think you might have nailed it that I am in fact the one who sucks. That would actually add up perfectly since it’s such a convenient time to cut contact.
I don’t have any good friends probably because I dedicated all my energy to my wife and career and I never really made a point to go make my own friends. Oops.
Re: moving I am pondering taking a mental health leave from work and house swapping someone in Iceland. I kind of forgot as a homeowner I have some serious leverage compared to when I was renting and I’m not actually as stuck as I initially worried
Classic.
Do it. It sounds like you need some kind of change of pace, and to get out of your own head.
The good thing to remember is that, if the reason you are feeling this way is because “you suck” (aka, you are a flawed human being, as we all are), then you can make your life better by sucking less - by building a happy, secure, passionate life that you want to be living.
When you want to get into dating again, I recommend picking up the book Models by Mark Manson