Lost my wife (34) to cancer last month and I haven’t found any good resources to help me. How do you cope with their loss? Please remove if this isn’t allowed.
Lost my wife (34) to cancer last month and I haven’t found any good resources to help me. How do you cope with their loss? Please remove if this isn’t allowed.
First, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Almost 20 years ago, I lost my fiancé to an undiagnosed heart condition and he passed away suddenly in our home. I was really young so I dealt with it rather poorly, with substance abuse and avoidance which was obviously not the right choice.
For me, once I allowed myself to feel my grief and just focused on the small snippets of happy I could find in the day, I began to breathe a bit more. It also really helped to talk about my fiancé and the good memories we had, big or small, with others who knew him. Every new day brought just a bit more air into my lungs and before I knew it, I was able to feel like I was living again. Albeit living with a heavy weight around your neck but still, living.
One day you’ll get there but focus on one step at a time, find the small joys where you can (and try not to feel guilty about finding said joy), and give yourself the same grace you’d give to a loved one who’s lost someone they love. Grief has no timetable and as someone said, it’s not linear, but you will make it through to the other side someday.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and advice.
Its avoidance really a bad choice to deal with grief?
Yes