I was raised in a very Catholic region. Our football team is called The Saints. We called the (then new) Protestant church “Mary Queen of the Parking Lot” because it was in a strip mall. Even now, I have no idea what the Protestant megachurch by the interstate is called because everyone calls it “Six Flags Over Jesus.” I’ve been to weddings there and I don’t know the name.

I say all that to say no one is weirder than people who convert to Catholicism. I’m agnostic and I try to follow the teachings of Jesus (as a philosopher) more than weird ass adult converts like JD Vance. Like, help the poor and turn the other cheek. Forgiveness is as much a blessing for you as it is for the person you’re forgiving. And JD Vance is like, “The Crusades were cool.” No! They sucked!