… I realize sure, some things are good, some aren’t, struggles are here, and I’m even not one of those having it the worst.
But I just wanted to write something down for all those of you that are younger : I can’t, sadly, know when or how it ends, or even if it will at all in certain cases, but you know all this self-criticism, self-flagellation, constant lack of self-confidence?
Well, there may be a time when it all ends. Completely, totally, entirely, and just like that, you realize you’re free from it, probably forever.
It doesn’t make everything ok, doesn’t heal everything and won’t change anything to your denied need for justice and anger against subservience or all the evils people, or you, live through.
But this whole thing about self harming, physically or psychologically? THIS may end. It ended for me like 6 or 7 years ago, probably to never come back. Nothing particular happened, you know. Stuff just healed. It took time but it did happen in the end.
And I dearly wish it will for you all too.
Cheers and take care.
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As someone older than you… you continue to toughen as you age. Remember that younger you who had surges of emotions about events and remember to stay sensitive. Caring about others and about yourself is important.
Preach. Welcome to 40. Where life becomes beautiful because you realised you were letting it be controlled by other’s opinions of you and they have a long way to go to find peace and happiness.
There is nothing more to do now but start enjoying the world, that tree over there, and the characters you meet along the way. Everything is beautiful when you finally start looking through your own eyes, not the lenses of others.
I wish I could transfer this mindset to younger people, but it only comes through time. Accept your insignificance, realise what you can do, and make every step forward being about joy for yourself and for others along the way. It all gets better when that clicks, but it feels like you have to be broken by it all first.
Accept your insignificance
Your whole comment was great, but I think this is the most important part. Nothing matters in the grand scheme of things. Human history is a few thousand years, the universe is 13.8 billion years old.
Nobody cares about your trendy clothes, your car, or any of that. Do what you like and enjoy those around you who have had the same realization. Some people never do and I feel sorry for them.
In a recent Astrum video the host was talking about the state of the Earth in the upcoming millions of years. The Earth’s crust is always reshaping. We just don’t see it because our time here is so short. After we as humans are gone every thing we’ve done as a civilisation will be covered over under layers of new crust. Buildings will fall, the toxic mess will be settled, some life will continue after us, and new forms of life may arise. Thinking in that grander scale, nothing we do really matters. All we can do is try to not be shitty assholes within the ocean of shitty assholes around us. We’ll all end up under a compacted layer of new Earth crust and eventually be swallowed up by our own sun. And that thought makes me feel calm.
This is true… I think it comes down to self-actualization, which is something that can take decades, or never happen at all… But accepting yourself for who/what you are is a big step towards that.
And in doing so, you learn to accept others for who they are.
Except Nazis. Fuck Nazis.
Get to the gym and taken daily vitamins. Take care of yourself. You’ll be ok.
Amen! 46 and happy to confirm, although for me the break point was at 30 when my first child was born. An earlier breakthru was around 27 when doing my second outing of zen meditation and realising that my thoughts are not me, but more like the wind on my face, they come and go.
So my 5 euro-cents on this: become a parent or meditate to accelerate the process :)
Same.
