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observe and repeat
NTs when you say you wish social rules were either explained more explicitly or else your worth as a human being wasn’t tied to correctly following them:
Sorry that’s literally impossible. Also its not that bad, you just need to try harder. I have no idea why so many of you kill yourselves.
NTs after a few months of living in another country where the rules are different:
Depression, panic attacks, sometimes even full on mental breakdowns.
Ironically, I’m better than my peers at getting along in other countries… Because I’m used to looking for the unwritten rules.
I’ve had to explain other peoples’ behaviors to my peers at work because they havent had to study how to act like I have. Most people just never talk about this stuff.
NTs following the rules, lmao.
I’m too strict 👀“you just always have to be right, don’t you?”
I just took what you said seriously. When do I take it at face value and when do I try to invent a new meaning for what you said?
Yesterday I explained to my 6 year old that communication is not just hearing the words people said and acting like that’s all they meant. I explained that when he speaks, I try to think about what made him say that and what he might have meant, and when people make this extra little effort to understand it’s like they’re giving you a gift of understanding. I was also able to help him recognize that when people use your words against you, it feels bad.
I’m prepared to have to repeat this several more times as per usual, but he did understand and agree. Taking people’s words at face value without thinking about the person isn’t good communication. Maybe it’s harder for you, or maybe you just stopped caring because enough NTs didn’t give you the gift of understanding. I’m just here to say that words at face value isn’t the be-all of connecting with others.
My reaction to this is now, “no, I want everyone to be right.”
But they “just wanna tell” you…
That just made me realise…
…no they don’tNeurovanilla’s haven’t the faintest clue most of the time
We do
And that might just be why so many of us get confused. We notice when we don’t know. Most neurovanilla’s just seem to think they know (and strongly believe so :p)
Yet few can actually explain what they’re doing or seeing. So it’s probably a spectrum of how insightful people can be. Neurodivergent or not
So, about half the inane banter that you hear NTs doing, where you’re like, “why are they talking about such stupid crap?” is actually an exchange and reinforcement of cultural norms. If you don’t participate in “small talk”, then you are missing the very subtle cultural indoctrination.
I mean … small talk is often like an initial authorization step or health check. You ping the server “are you up?” before sending your large payload. If the server is down or under too heavy load to handle your request, you probably want to know sooner than later.
I think your mom actually received my large payload last night.
Yep, even when they don’t like 'm. I’ve learned a lot of them don’t dare to diverge from those norms regardless. It appears to be a mixture of fear and lack of understanding that locks them into certain behaviours.
Gotta have some bravery to set standards for yourself
To be fair, being different is historically dangerous
True true, and it still is to an extent. Just not as lethal
Removed by mod
As someone who was begging to read the rules to probably the most un-written game of them all, this book was very helpful.
