I sympathize with the bottom part so much. My parents absolutely refused to cook anything ever and bought the worst, most unhealthy prepackaged foods from the grocery stores. I spent the first years of my life thinking that things like apples just weren’t sold at my local Kroger because we never had them. I felt like shit mentally and physically for pretty much the first 18 years of my life because of it.
I grew up, moved out, and holy shit I love eating “rabbit food,” as my dad used to call it and I never would have learned before is that cooking is fun
Did you to wish you could fuck your friends mom‽
Yes but that was irrelevant because she never cooked for me, she was just hot. Still is, in fact.
We always joke that he has a Wine Mom. He thinks that we’re calling her a drunk. It means that she gets better with age.
Relevant username if I ever saw one
Man I was tormented with that crap as a kid. “HOLY CRAP YOUR SISTER IS HOT!!! That’s your mommmmmm? Whoa!”
Same crap with my sister.
I see them both as living farts.
I had a running joke with this lad in school where he’d say “your sister’s fit” and I’d punch him in the arm. No idea why we did it or how it stayed so friendly. Just remembered it for the first time in maybe 20 years. Thanks!
Well now we need to see pictures of your hot mom and hot sis so we can judge for ourselves in the name of science and research.
Commenting to come back to see that guys mom
The good news is if your mother and sister are attractive, There’s decent odds your good looking as well. Unless your mother fucked an ogre, and if that’s so… Well at least Shrek’s your dad?
I’m not ugly, but I’m the least attractive member of my family.
My brother looked like a Greek god, my sister looked like a model. My dad was so sought after that his name was spray painted all over our town with hearts and love confessions. Bridges, buildings, love for him was everywhere. He was chased by women aged 18-90.
I was born with crossed eyes and had to have a corrective surgery. Every man in my family is over 6ft tall and I’m only 5’7. I still randomly message my mother to thank her for going through with the surgery.
I definitely lost the lottery, but it could have been worse.
Well incase no one has told you that you are attractive lately, you’re fucking beautiful man. May every road rise up to meet you
Well thank you. :p You’re beautiful too!
We all did. The hot moms anyway. The big milfy moms, I just wanted them to make me some food.
What did you think milf stands for?
Mums insanely lovely food
He knows what he said.
Love the interrobang.
I feel you. I weirdly did have vegetables and things growing up, but my mom self admittedly hates cooking. So most of what we ate consisted of casseroles made up of things dumped out of a can and any veggies likely also came from a can and we’re heated up on the stove. She also over cooked all the meat to make sure people wouldn’t get sick. So all the veggies were bland and mushy and all the meat was dry as fuck. I’ll never forget the first time I ate fresh pineapple at my inlaws house and it was one of the best things I ever tasted. I’m pretty good at cooking now and I’ve managed to help my mom improve in all ways as well. She now uses a meat thermometer that I got her for Christmas. I cooked her some fresh broccoli in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic powder and she loved it and started making hers that way instead of boiling it. Baby steps, but we’re making progress.
Rabbit food? What the fuck
Some dudes live their whole lives afraid their balls will fall off and roll away if they eat anything but brown meat.
Hey, c’mon, there’s all kinds of dudes that love going to town on some brown meat.
Enjoying meat and two veg on a daily basis is traditional.
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In the 90s people started suggesting eating veggies occasionally and the American populace reacted predictably, i.e. as if someone were threatening to literally emasculate them.
Kind of like the modern anti-vax/anti-mask freaks.
Fellas, is it gay to eat healthy?
Gays, is it healthy to eat fellas?
I’ve heard it be said from many men that I knew growing up that the more processed food is, the better, because it kills all the germs that come out of the ground. I’ve not seen that man eat anything green that wasn’t on top of a fast food cheeseburger in all my years alive.
broccoli is like anal sex… if you’re forced to have it as a kid, you’re not gonna like it as an adult
This is awful lolol
This is a relatable comparison
I guess I should be happy I like broccoli. Here I always thought people just didn’t care for the smell, like brussel sprouts and anal apparently
Holy shit
This checks out but dude you need Charter.
The “kids don’t like broccoli” has a scientific reason. Kids have a lot more receptors for aromas tasting bitter (10 to 15k different chemical compounds taste bitter to them) which reduce to 5k or less when growing up. So some types of food that adults can eat without problems because they lack the receptors have bitter and vile flavours for kids.
Plant breeders have also been busy reducing bitterness/tannins in various vegetables like brussel sprouts and canola oil, so things are in fact less bitter than 30 years ago.
Any word on if this impacts nutrition?
I’m mostly familiar with animal feed, where nutritional quality weighs quite heavy during selection. For human consumption I assume there are some base nutritional standards when applying to enter the market with a new breed, but might heavily depend on your region.
Brussels Sprouts are another one… I don’t think I had properly cooked Brussels sprouts until I was in my mid-to-late-20s, and they’ve become one of my favorite vegetables. They’re so fucking good dude.
Doesn’t help a lot of people used to just boil broccoli without seasoning. Doesn’t do the flavor any favors.
My stepmother was that way so I couldn’t stand broccoli growing up. Most vegetables were blan and tasteless without salt and boiled.
I rarely buy them now because I can’t physically handle cooking every day now. So most vegetables go bad in the fridge.
That’s interesting. Do you have any sources on this phenomenon?
This one, for example: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4654709/
Or this one: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22197939/
Originally, I had read a cluster of those articles some years ago, but scientific articles like to hide behind paywalls nowadays.
And at old age, it ends like this: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2017/05/05/526750174/why-taste-buds-dull-as-we-age
his source is that he made it the fuck up!
~(MGR:R joke)~
I always assumed this is also why adults love disgusting cheese (I do to a degree as well nowadays). We just lost our sense of taste and call it refined taste.
The “losing taste” is actually a beneficial thing. Most things that kids don’t like are either risky (e.g. coffee) or difficult to digest (all kinds of cabbage), so it is good that kids don’t like them. For adults being able to expand acceess to available foods helps feeding the horde in difficult times.
So I was right to avoid the golumpkis
(They really aren’t bad… but cooked cabbage smell is scary to a child)
Broccoli is so good it makes me horny too. I fucking love broccoli.
But, do you love fucking broccoli?
What happens at the farmers market stays at the farmers market
I’m not kink shaming but if you fuck the broccoli you better not leave it at the farmers market. You take that shit home with you afterwards.
You’re damn right. Broccoli mates for life, not just for Christmas.
Never was a statement more false than this one.
Your statement creates a paradox. You must sacrifice a partition to Windows or risk Steve Jobs visiting you in the night.
I’d rather risk Steve jobs visiting me in the night, much safer option.
It was, “I, fucking, love broccoli.”
Fun fact: Brocollis is the ‘veg kids don’t like’ in Amercia mostly. Pixar even edited scenes in ‘Inside Out’ where a dad feeds his daughter broccoli, turing it into bell peppers for the asian market:
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-inside-out-has-different-scenes-in-other-countries-2015-7?op=1
Broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans we (brother and I) were always fine with as kids. It was the asparagus and spinach I never cared for as a kid. Turned out it wasn’t the spinach’s fault, my mother would just buy bags of frozen spinach, put it in a microwave safe container and turn it on. So if tasted bad. As I learned to cook I started to like it as I actually used it in other ways. Asparagus though… I rarely give a chance, and usually if I do I’m frying it in bacon grease which defeats the purpose of eating a vegetable I feel.
I only like raw asparagus. If it is cooked, it tastes nasty as hell
Never had it raw, thanks for the tip. I’ll give it a try
Both my kids favorite veggie was broccoli when they were small. I’d prepare it the way you’d get it in an Italian restaurant - small parts of it just bleached for a short time, so it stays firm, served with nice olive oil and salt. (And a bit of lemon, if I have it on hand)
Broccoli (like so many veggies) tastes awful when overcooked into a soft and mushy consistency (and then it also changes its taste in a bad way).
Here in Germany grandmas typically are amazing cooks, with the sole exception when they cooked veggies. That generation loved their vegs really soft and overcooked.
This shows some really nice attention to detail.
Fun Fact, if broccoli kinda tastes like soap to you, congratulations! You have a gene variation that makes certain bitter flavors taste like soap, it’s stronger in childhood (which is potentially why “Kids hate broccoli” trope is a thing) and tends to fade into adulthood, but not always.
There are also studies being done to figure out specifically which compounds in broccoli make it taste like that to cultivate it out to encourage more broccoli consumption
Glad to see some scientific stuff under a “I would fuck his mom for serving broccoli” content.
Are you saying that I might stop hating coriander when I retire? But I really like broccoli, so maybe it’s a different kind of soap gene…
I hate having this gene variant, so many things taste bad. People judge you, it’s hard to order at restaurants, etc.
Broccoli tossed in olive oil, cooked in an air fryer until crispy and then sprinkled with course salt. Delicious 👌🏼
So going to try that!
My recent go to ( not broccoli though) is toss some fresh spinach in a pan with oil and hit it with lemon pepper seasoning and a little lemon juice.
Takes like 5 including prep if you don’t mind the stalks.
Do people not like spinach stalks? It’s like my favorite part… adds a tiny bit of crunch/texture.
Your recipe sounds really good as well. I’ll definitely give it a try
You forgot garlic. Copious amounts of garlic at every step.
I thought broccoli only got softer when cooked. Does this work if you don’t have an air fryer and you fry it in a pan?
Now I’m wondering what would it would taste like to marinade broccoli in butter and garlic then took them out and put them in a dehydrator to make them into chips
Just cut into bite size pieces, toss it in oil, salt and pepper it, put it on a baking sheet and roast at 425 for around 20 minutes. Don’t fry it in a pan. It will be delicious
This is the way, never liked broccoli until I learned to make it like this. I love adding different seasonings too depending on the flavor profile of the meal - curry and ginger powder for indian dishes, cajun seasoning if you like spicy, or garlic/lemon/italian seasoning.
Air fryers are just convection ovens. Its baking it.
They are actually different, but it’s based on locations and how/when they circulate air.
This may be an interesting read… Or not, fuck all do I know about what you enjoy haha
That page is giving me a 403 message
Strange 403 is access denied I believe. If your using a VPN maybe change to another location. I’m in the U.S. Switched mine to the UK and France and both worked. I use Spain a lot do to their laws on Piracy. (Legal unless used for profit)
Air fryers are closer to impingement ovens than convection (fan-forced) ovens.
Interesting, I had never heard of an impingement oven!
They’re not that common in residential environments. More common at businesses.
Broccoli and cheese is awesome. Other preparations like steamed are not as delicious, but ymmv.
Steamed broccoli + garlic salt, just dont overdo the brocc until it’s mushy
I think that’s where the reputation comes from. Overcooked broccoli is inedible, and I know people who refuse to leave any bite to it at all, which seems insane.
I feel like crunchy, fresh broccoli is a relatively new trend. I found out about it on my own, at my place as a kid it always looked like green boogers and tasted the way you imagine that would.
I think it used to have to be cooked to hell because in the past it legitimately didn’t taste as good as it does now. Selective breeding has taken a lot of bitterness out of many vegetables.
It got cooked to hell because most people can’t cook and that’s what they know. If anything broccoli tasted the better in the 80s, because it wasn’t as maximized for shipping.
I don’t know, man, this was the 80s and 90s, it’s not that long ago. It still tastes like I remember if you overcook it.
30-40 years is a lot of time to selectively breed vegetables.
Yeah, no, it’s not that it isn’t enough time, it’s that I’ve been eating broccoli and beans all this time, I would have noticed.
I mean, we all noticed the tomatoes becoming water balloons, it’s not like it’d be unheard of.
You wouldn’t notice slight changes over decades. You’d need to do a side by side comparison to say for sure.
Vegetable breeders for the veggies that you get in a normal grocery store don’t typically select for tastiness/flavor, they select for things that can maximize profits - hardiness, shipability, production, etc.
That and canned veggies. Don’t know if it’s because we were low income or if produce was just a lot more expensive back in the 80s and 90s. But, I remember eating a shit ton of canned “mixed vegetables” at my house and at friends houses.
My mom was a good cook, but I feel like we didn’t get a lot of fresh veggies unless we were living on a military base where the groceries were subsidized.
My mom used to have a microwave cookbook and would make most veggies in the microwave oven. This cemented my love for crunchy cooked vegetables. I can’t eat green beans in a restaurant because most of the time they are almost the consistency of porridge.
Steamed broccoli with a little soy sauce & Sriracha is one of my absolute favorite snacks. Cauliflower, too. I’m gonna go make some.
Steamed is my default method of cooking broccoli.
I cut the stalk up for soup and pasta. Then I lightly steam the florets and I like it.
In almost all cases, I frankly detest steamed vegetables. Probably due to my grandmother steaming the absolute piss out of ANY vegetable when we visited. My mother didn’t overcook them nearly as bad, but to this day I just don’t enjoy the flavor of any vegetable steamed nearly as much as I do roasted in the oven. High heat + short time + delicious, crisp, lightly charred goodness
well that escalated quickly
You never wanted to fuck your friend’s mom?
I mean… yeah. But after you hit thirty and you can have all the milfs you want. It’s free moms.
Many years ago my kids pediatrician recommended feeding the kids kale smoothies. I didn’t have any Kale at home so I cooked bunch of broccoli to mush and mixed it with bananas. Those kids eat half a pound of broccoli for breakfast just about every day now. They also eat it raw or crunchy cooked. Definitely the best medical advice I’ve ever gotten and the kids are used to a very simple and quick to make breakfast that keeps them full for hours.
Tldr: Kids constantly surprise me and sometimes they like vegetables.
In what way is „kale smoothies“ a medical advice and why would you designate it as the best, if you didn’t even follow it and used different vegetables?
This comment is so over the top weird, I feel like I missed the joke here.
It’s medical advice because it came from a doctor in a professional setting when we were discussing how to get more iron in their diets since we don’t eat many fortified foods. Kale and broccoli are close enough nutritionally to be swapped if one is just looking for the vitamins and minerals. Lastly, It the longest I’ve ever continuously followed a recommendation and it has made my life way easier. That makes it the best advice I’ve gotten.
Thanks for the clarification!
It reads like a 1 star recipe review
No a 5 star “It tastes amazing! I changed everything!”
/r/IDidntHaveEggs
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Well, german but Broccoli and cauliflower with breadcrumbs and butter. Grandma always made this, which is why i liked it as a kid.
Broccoli is like green tofu. It tastes like whatever you cook it in. There is perhaps no other food which has more surface area for holding sauce or seasoning.
Cauliflower
Yeah I was going to say this. Cauliflower is like the “plain” version of broccoli lol
Mandelbrotcolli
Broccoli in Thai curry is the way! So good!
To be fair, everything is good in Thai curry.
That’s my favourite thing about broccoli - I take a bite from the bushy part and get an explosion of flavor
Broccoli rules, one of my favorite veggies, along with carrots and fresh green beans.
Throw asparagus in there and I’m in.
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
