I remember going to a cabin with some friends and playing one of those icebreaker games with a deck of cards full of “thought-provoking” questions. I got something like “what would you do with an infinite supply of money?”

My response? I would positively haunt Mitch McConnell until the day he died. I would hire any and every person needed to completely saturate that goblin’s life with fuckery. He would lose all faith in everything, all sense of safety. I would build teams, departments, and institutions dedicated to knowing his every move and subverting his will at Every. God. Damned. Turn.

His eyeglasses would disappear daily. Every haircut he got would fuck his shit up. Every pizza he ordered would be a box of spiders. There wouldn’t be a bite of food crossing his lips that didn’t have pee in it, or worse. He would shit himself in public because every restroom within a mile would be occupied, blockaded, or on fire. I would never injure him irreparably or kill him. In fact, I would ensure he was as healthy as possible. I would want to prevent him from escaping for as long as possible. I would be the ruin of his joy.

So yeah, that broke the ice.