I can’t be the only one who has been on both sides of this, yeah?
I’ve seen it before. They don’t mask some behaviors that you have learned to mask. It feels like they lack self awareness about it and it is off putting.
But then I realize it’s probably how I sound like to normal people too.
Without actually saying it in so many words, my therapist has indicated that I probably don’t seem as weird to “normal people” as I think I do.
your therapist is just paid to say that
/s if you need it
I also wonder if they’ve deliberately dropped the mask because they feel comfortable with me (and I betrayed that by feeling like the little guy on the right)
Aaaaaaaa the ole “I can’t stand this person because they’re a prime exhibition of the traits I really hate in myself and supress as hard as possible”. Unfortunate when someone accidentally activates my self hatred as regular hatred, they don’t deserve it
Hi, I’m from All. Is calling a person on the spectrum “Acoustic” as a light hearted joke ok?
Edit: thanks everyone who responded! Sorry if it’s a dumb question. I used to think that using the word “dude” as a gender neutral term was ok until I got yelled at by internet strangers so now I double check every memey phrase.
It depends on whether they laugh.
Sometimes you take a risk in comedy. The risk is real. The choice is yours.
You must choose. But choose…wisely
Humor is like baseball. If you hit 1/3 of the time you’re doing amazingly well
I keep reading this with different vocal archetypes like radio-announcer, in-a-world, Shatner, Schrute, etc. Can you tell me what your inner head voice sounds like?
That’s a really fun question. Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of a Henry Rollins or a Dan Harmon, with just an amuse bouche of Paul Reubens. HA HA!
OMG thank you, that’s perfect!
Depends on the person.
You really have to see how it resonates with them
As with all jokes directed at people. One person may laugh about a joke about their dead mother, and someone else could be offended by you saying their cat is chubby.
I think it’s good to check. I’ve experienced similar things with words like “dude”. It’s safest when speaking to friends, I’ve found. Like, I game with a group of friends who are almost entirely trans/nb, and none are men, yet sometimes we will jokingly refer to the group as “lads” or similar. In the context of me saying it, it isn’t offensive to them, because they know that I respect their gender and identity, so it’s clear that it’s ironic and joking.
With strangers, some extra caution is warranted. For example, I am autistic and often make autism related jokes at autistic friends, in a way that could be offensive if I was saying it to a stranger. To give a specific example, if a friend said they wouldn’t be around later because they were going out with friends, I replied “don’t lie — you don’t have any friends, you autistic weirdo”. In context, this was very funny because both of us are autistic so the fact that I was saying it to my friend negates the insult because we both clearly have at least one friend (another layer of funny is that my friend’s friends were also very neurodivergent, so another disproving of the “autistics don’t have friends” insult). Without this irony, that comment would seem cruel and mean-spirited.
The problem is that you can’t necessarily assume good intentions from strangers, especially on the internet. I have been insulted in the way I jokingly insulted my friends, and it hurts (and I think sometimes jokes with friends can feel like healing from the hurt of genuine insults and slurs). It’s hard to laugh at a joke when you’re not sure whether it’s a joke or not.
In the context of dude, I think that’s a good example of why hard and fast rules don’t work. I’m a cis woman and generally I’m fine with being called dude (and also tend to use it in a gender neutral way (with the understanding that some people won’t receive it in a gender neutral way, even if I intend it that way. In practice, that I know some friends who prefer not to be called dude, and I try to be mindful of assumptions when talking to strangers)).
Sometimes though, I do feel irked to be called dude — often it’s in an online discussion where it seems like the person I’m speaking to is assuming that I am a man (because thinking of men as default is a pervasive thing that even I find myself doing.) Often assumptions like that aren’t personal, but especially as a woman in science, I often feel weary of the frequent implications that I am a guest in male spaces. “Weary” is the key word here — sometimes if I feel irked, it isn’t so much about that individual conversation, but more a case of the background miasma of unpleasant people in my life causing me to become hyper vigilant.
This is a long way of saying that whilst it’s good to be mindful of using memey phrases (especially amongst strangers), you should try not to take things too much to heart if you are chewed out by someone; sometimes the level of ire that someone expresses is disproportionate to your error because their annoyance may relate to how many people have made that error towards them, rather than the number of times that you have made that mistake. Online conversations unfortunately make it too easy to assume poor faith of people, and that can lead to a very hostile tone to things. Having a lot of shit to deal with isn’t an excuse for being unkind, but it can be an explanation. That in mind, it’s useful to check about what’s okay to say, but realise that there’s no straightforward set of rules. What’s okay for one person might cause someone to blow up the next. Or it might vary day by day. This is frustrating to deal with if you’re just wanting to avoid pissing people off, but I find it easier to understand if I think about how little context I have of the person who is yelling at me. Their life circumstances may cause them to be overly guarded, and that’s not your fault, but you can help to shift the balance by showing compassion and acknowledging that there’s a human on the other side of the screen, and apologising and moving on (which may or may not mean changing your behaviour in future).
This got overly long, my apologies. For the record though, I don’t think it’s a dumb question you asked. It’s a kind one. Figuring out how to coexist in a messy online world is hard, but being considerate of other people’s needs is a good start.
Thank you, that was extremely well said!
My wife and I regularly refer to ourselves as “artistic” when neither of us are particularly art-oriented 🤣
High-functioning artistic!
I think it’s funny. But it definitely depends on the person/situation.
Dude is a gender neutral term. Does that answer your question?
Dude is gender neutral in the 2nd person but not in the 3rd person
I’m glad you’ve decided for everyone. Many thanks, language dictator.
Do you mean to question the wisdom and authority of our fearless leader?
Fuck don’t tell anyone
Nah, that’s bro.
No, no it is not.
Maybe don’t live your life based on the opinions of internet strangers?
These are good and kind lemmings tho, not just random people
“Dude” is more problematic as sounding aggressive, dismissive, or juvenile than gender issues. There is a loophole, though. If you are a man who is willing to say, “I fuck dudes,” you can call anyone a dude.
Generally, no. Some people may not have a problem with it, but others consider it offensive, mainly due to its recent use as an insult on social media to bypass hate filters.
For me its kinda similar except I regularly interact with people who are significantly more autistic, then neurotypical people tell me that feeling uncomfortable is ablism -_-
this is the part of autism that nobody likes to talk about
Happens to me 😅 I have a ok-but-pretty-noticeable stammer, but when I have to listen to someone else who have it worse I’m like « Is this what it feels like to listen to me?! »
(Only internal monologue of course… I wouldn’t treat someone else like I’ve been treated 🫂)
I have ASD1, and I have a few students who have it as well, possibly ASD2 for one of them. It is…a challenge sometimes, to say the least (which is how much I would LOVE if one of them would say sometimes as he rambles incessantly when I am otherwise occupied). I do my best to help my autistic students feel heard and to be understood while also giving them insight into their autistic traits that some (mostly neurotypical) people might find challenging and insight into how they might be able to fit in better with others.
Wait there’s an autism percentage? Shit I need to know what percent I am. 99 or 100%?
Well, it is a spectrum, which implies that you could theoretically put a percentage on it.
But your 12% and my 12% could be very different due to the expression of different traits.
Logarithmic spectrum.
Exponential
Autism people: stonks!
I’ve been sitting on this for like 5 or 6 days.
IT IS THE VACCINES
Honestly the people who are obsessive over vaccines are probably Autistic.
I dislike the concept of a single-axis, back-and-forth “spectrum” such as your 12% would imply, but more of a multidimensional conglomerate of myriad spectra (plural), where e.g. spoken language when not overstimulated is one, spoken language ability WHEN overstimulated is another, social interactions when not oversocial-ed is one axis, social interaction ability while oversocial-ed is another, tactile sensory is one axis, smell/olfactory sensory is another, visual sensory is another, etc.
Because that’s the reality, is that it’s a mish-mash of several interconnected axes and spectra, that tend to go off the rails a bit faster / more easily than NT / allists seem to go off the rails and break down
Autism can range from non-verbal to high-functioning and everything in between. My nephew is nearly 17 and has a mind functioning on a third-grade level. I struggle heavily on a social level and often am overstimulated by lights, sounds, unfamiliar environments, etc.
Not all autistic folk have the same “level” of autism.
Sounds like I’m at the same level as you. Also I appreciate a real answer to my joke lol.
Tbf, there’s a lotta folks who come in here from other instances without even looking at where they are, sometimes making thoughtless comments.
In case you were one of those, I thought it best to explain. 👍
…I also did not realize it was a joke until you said something, so make of that what you will.
That’s okay, jokes in text form do not often hit the way they were intended.
I was typing it out thinking “Oh this is going to be so funny when others see my stupid joke about autism percentages teehee.” Perhaps not one of my best jokes.
functioning on a third grade level
I feel that sometimes. I can get along with 5-10 year old children pretty well as I find them relatable. I sometimes talk like I’m 5.
It’s like mob psycho
I’ve definitely been both of these guys on the same day.
I’ve been both of these to the same person (or at least that’s how I read their response).
Turns out, autism is not a monolith. Who knew?
Me being two people at once:
my DND group frfr
Me and my brother lol
I get annoyed when people have a speech impediment or struggle with people. Not because I have something against them but because I struggle with the same things sometimes.
What does this even mean?? I’m trying to read through the Comments to make sense of it and see if somebody’s given a “translation” of what it’s trying to say … 1% more person isn’t allowed to talk too much? Original autie is sensitive to the chatter so dislikes being talked at?
I’m trying to follow, but I’m missing something crucial to the interpretation of whatever this means
what nobody likes to talk about is that when an autistic person meets another autistic person who is slightly more annoying than they are, they are exactly as pissed at that person as a neurotypical person would be if not more so