How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy? - eviltoast

I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • FeelzGoodMan420
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    17 days ago

    I don’t believe that most women don’t like skinny guys. That’s likely just BS. I have no idea what kind of girls OP is asking out. Maybe he’s asking the super hot biddy girls who only wanna date bros from the jersey shore? No idea. But that just doesn’t seem accurate. Perhaps the girls really have another reason and are trying to come up with an excuse. I have no idea.

    OP, if you wanna put on a little muscle mass without getting super into weight lifting, just do pushups/planks/other easy shit every day whenever you have a free minute. Merely doing that will add some muscle definition and make you appear a bit less skinny. You’ll notice some obvious results after a few months. You don’t have to go ham into weight lifting, unless you want to.

    Also, you may have a fast metabolism OP. If so, you’ll be fucking happy when you’re older and all of your friends are fat - and you’re still skinny ;-).

    • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Metabolism differences are negligible between people, barring some disease. OP might just be a genetic outlier in terms of being able to put on muscle mass.

      You also dont need to be a gymbro to put on muscle mass, 2-3 times a week 30-60 minutes in the gym is all it takes.

      https://youtu.be/cClSiXBNGa8?si=qxyWva8kRn__oTVv

      This video is excellent and these exercises can be easily done in 30 minutes and will yield better results than doing random pushups during the day.

      • FeelzGoodMan420
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        17 days ago

        Huh? What do you mean metabolism is barely different between people? Some people are fat naturally even with a decent diet and some people are skinny af regardless of what they eat. What do you mean there is no or little difference? There is large variability in metabolism speed between people. I know multiple people who are skinny and do not put on weight regardless of diet. If I’m wrong lemme know but that’s how I see it.

        • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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          17 days ago

          https://youtube.com/shorts/Se1oaRu0Pbw?si=OEsWwQ223S9g04rv

          https://examine.com/articles/does-metabolism-vary-between-two-people/?srsltid=AfmBOorZB7hjoCjkq1bI_PhVWvT7Y-AKXz8apPWiUrCy-VvCxJdkhH0d

          Extending this into practical terms and assuming an average expenditure of 2000kcal a day, 68% of the population falls into the range of 1840-2160kcal daily while 96% of the population is in the range of 1680-2320kcal daily. Comparing somebody at or below the 5thpercentile with somebody at or above the 95thpercentile would yield a difference of possibly 600kcal daily, and the chance of this occurring (comparing the self to a friend) is 0.50%, assuming two completely random persons.

          To give a sense of calories, 200kcal (the difference in metabolic rate in approximately half the population) is approximately equivalent to 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, a single poptart (a package of two is 400kcal) or half of a large slice of pizza. An oreo is about 70kcal, and a chocolate bar in the range of 150-270kcal depending on brand.

          So a majority of people are within 3 pieces of Oreos in tems of metabolism difference and the extreme end is 9 piece of difference, but 96 % pf people are within 6 oreos of each other.

          • FeelzGoodMan420
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            17 days ago

            Interesting thanks. Appreciate the interesting information. Thanks for taking the time to type that out.

        • FeelzGoodMan420
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          16 days ago

          ClearURL extension for Firefox (might also be on Chrome) should remove that automatically when visiting a link. Also Firefox has a “copy without tracking” option as well when right clicking a link.

          Edit: also uBlock origin has a filter list to clean links, however I find it doesn’t capture everything that ClearURL does.