Wonder which model Samsung it was…

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I feel slightly better knowing that the Chinese suffer from Chinesium-based products as much as we do.

Are Xbox players paste-eaters or something?

🎶Who lives in a nightmare under the sea?🎶

It’s like a half hour long fever dream…

🎶your own….racoon…Jesus 🎶

Moon hummus…

Conversation in a future space Starbucks: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Yes sir…”

Conversation in my local Starbucks tomorrow: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Sir, I have a taser and pepper spray, if you leave now, I won’t call the cops.”

Spiderman: Applies for a home mortgage Spiderman: Home Town Buffet Spiderman: Home Shopping Network

When I see how some women were treated in the 50’s, I get the feeling the scariest thing to many men would be a woman they couldn’t command.

Smashing Pumpkins: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

R.E.M. - Automatic for the people

Is it too much to ask for a Godzilla movie where he and king king go to a coffee shop and pretentiously sip stadium-sized espressos while animatedly discussing which philosophers would best perform a rail grind down the worlds longest handrail while whistling “Country Roads” by John Denver and juggling a piece of the original cross, the Loch Ness Monster’s kidney stone and a VHS tape containing the last remaining copy of a deleted scene from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood where he laughs at a fart. 10/10 would watch.

DD Mmm YY

HarmonyOS version “Tianamen 4 June 1989” is more efficient at reporting back to glorious communist overlords, quickly silencing anti-party sentiment and discovering more ingenious ways of denying human right violations and genocide. Must download today!

The Vespa 150 TAP, aka, Zoomy Ka-boomy

From the people who brought you the Walkie Talkie, presenting the new Scooty Shooty

Wait…there are people that clean their earbuds?

Had a friend borrow a large sum of money from me. Yes, I did it. Yes, I was repaid on time.

Thumb drives?