If I remember right, she’s in the very first scene of SNW. A bearded Pike in Alaska riding a horse to a cabin where they’re staying together. She’s gently needling him about whether he should go back to a command. I think she’s about to leave to go back to her ship after a vacation together. Something like that.
On M’Benga, I can’t quarrel with a thing you say and I haven’t been through what you’ve been through. But I’d encourage you to consider that he’s not a finished product. If this show gets to continue as far as it can, we know he’s in for a lot more change. Maybe he has to heal from here to end up somehow working under McCoy. The state he’s in when he hides this from Pike isn’t the end for him. Maybe this is part of trauma we get to watch him process from here?