@Wage_slave - eviltoast

It’s largely Sarcasm. And by large, I mean lots. Like, most, if not all of it. It’s gonna be sarcasm.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 29th, 2023

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  • I am so happy with the advances in keyboard technology. i have really heavy fingers when i type. Not physically, but I’ve always used a bunch of force despite my best efforts.

    And love mechanical keys, so that makes everything super duper loud.

    Thankfully there are entire youtube channels devoted to keyboards and I was able to find a board that can be mechanical and wonderful but not sound like the end of days whenever try and send an email or type out anything too long. ___


  • In a time which measurement makes even the biggest of brains strain, humans have finally become an advanced civilization. With wave after wave of new and exciting diseases wiping out the once controlling older generation and lowering the population to sustainable levels.

    Earth was back, BABY!

    The whole is not perfect, to truly achieve world peace, and to be taken seriously by aliens if they’re out there ignoring us, a secret sect of specialized time jumpers has begun the task of correcting historic follies and stopping specific threats that at one point in time created insurmountable damage to humanity.

    Now the technology is fickle. Still in beta and the procedures can only be completed by specific humans. We’ve sent out best and worst. There was an 87.00047 rate of time redacted melting.

    Imagine how long it takes to melt if you have your time redacted by the machine. So it requires a very unique person who is quite likely a product of inbreeding. Scientists have been trying to figure out the melting matrix, and so far successful “Librarians” have had abnormalities that are most commonly found in branchless family trees.

    The job, is to go back and chronicle everything outlined in your directive packet. You’ll have to find ways to stop some of histories worst people without killing them. Prevent catastrophic events, without alarming the public. Be light on your toes, good with your fists, and focused in the mind.

    We know medically, this might be incredibly difficult. You can’t get distracted by attractive cousins. No time for darts with the boys. The season finally of Pappas pig, forget about it. You’re there to stop the worst of the worst and the world’s largest disasters.

    Or in rare cases, ensure that the disaster goes through. It’s a tough job and the whole time, you and your fellow Librarians must constantly be recording and creating a record of your travels.

    Ultimately, your information with create the Human Chronicle, and complete a book that will ultimately teach the world how to grow, and avoid the monsters that exist to create chaos and destroy humanity, one bit at a time.

    TL;DR: Sweet, but stupid time traveller’s going through time to secure a prosperous future for humanity. Use hilarious and out of the box thinking to stop bad guys, and ensure you’re taking notes of the time and place you are sent to.

    TL;DR pt2: if you didn’t read it, you dodged a bullet.



  • Being pretty anti social and born with bland anger for a facial expression, the masking was welcome. Sure when my hood is up I look like I am going to disappear into the shadows and re-emerge with a lethal implement to satisfy my woke urges for violence and combatting murder using death, but i really like the color black. It’s not my image or anything, just the wardrobe is all.

    That and I am not a healthy human. My physical form is like trash, but without the smell and pleasing taste. So masking up and staying that way has done me pretty well in combination with the shots of mind control serum and jager. Still got covid and it almost killed me. So healthy people not getting the vax kinda blows my mind.

    As I was saying, I have remained at large pretty masked up. I am kinda new in my area. It’s small town, so the antivax crowd is large by volume, but never say anything, really. Mostly dumb looks, and words amongst themselves. Whatever. They are all masking up now because of the really large retirement community that is practically this towns reason for being here.

    just shy of 8k population, everyone has a grandparent here. A hospital that has a dedicated extended care/hospice wing (think terminal and end of life senior citizens) , but no place to donate blood, should paint a picture of what would transpire if a significant outbreak hit the community. There has always been enough seniors at any given time here, that there is a huge focus on their care and wellbeing. While the place is the disneyland of depression and sadness that legit nobody leaves alive, it is very well run. the elderly get treated fairly well by this community which is a shock because coming from a 1m+ city, they almost just disappear.

    But I remind you that at a hospital, you can’t donate blood. Or have a baby there anymore I last heard, but that’s a whole different puddle of soup. A fucking hospital.

    So, while it saddens me that we gotta wait for people to die or be at significant risk to take measures, I welcome back the mask. And even those reluctantly masking up, I appreciate y’all “fuck fine” wearing of it.

    Good luck, and may your sense of taste be forever in your mouth.





  • When I was a kid I had two radios.

    One with a cassette player in it that had a mic built in for recording. I found it in the trash.

    The other was a small FM/AM alarm clock that was dangerously hot at all times and had a noise as it was an analog clock with the little cards that flipped and the such. My opa gave it to me when he said it got too hot for his liking.

    It was not long before I had figured out that if I played the radio really loud on the clock, the cassette mic would record the songs onto whatever tape you had. Be it blank, or with tape over the security gaps on the top, any tape will do.

    Hardest part was the timing to start and stop the tape. And making sure you were in as close to total silence as possible as the mic picked everything up.

    Even if the hot buzz of the alarm clock motor fighting to flip into the next set of minutes would make it on the tape, the recording/welfare piracy continued. It was the sneezing/siblings walking in/parents making ugly sounds that were the worst as you’d have to stop the tape, rewind to the part of the tape you were using, and wait for the radio station to play the song again, so you might be able to try and tape it again.