@SuddenlyMelissa - eviltoast
  • 3 Posts
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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: February 14th, 2024

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  • Incedible story, thanks for sharing. I totally understand that day 1 feeling. I was SO scared about it all, but almost immediately I felt more ok with myself. It’s still strange to me in some ways, my mind and body have never been further apart in their expression of gender, but my disphoria has lessened so much. For the first time in my life, I’m actually starting to accept myself.

    When I started down this road, I mentally prepared myself for others to react strongly to it, one way or the other. Instead most everyone just accepted it, and told me I should just be me and do whatever makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, their understanding and acceptance has been excellent, but sometimes I felt like I needed that challenge. Almost like I wanted someone I’d have to convince to accept me. I’ve since come to realize that I was looking for that because I hadn’t yet accepted myself. I think I was hoping that if I could convince someone else I’m female, I would believe it more myself, or work harder to prove it.

    In a way, I was looking to create some sort of triumphant coming out story, like something out of a movie, where I say “No, this is me!” and start fighting for myself. That’s not how real life works though, and instead I needed to take the time to realize who I am. It was only once I did that I was actually able to start fighting for myself and standing up for who I am.