Sombyr

As a Vermonter, I also get offended when people think I’m from America.
They are correct and I’m not happy about that fact.

The day I added a GameCube to my retro setup was the day I accepted everyone gets old eventually.

In horror games, I always try to domesticate the monster by letting it follow me around the map without catching me. Then I have a buddy.

You know what weirdly does fill me with dread though? Space games. I played around with space engine and it doesn’t matter what I’m looking at or where I am, I am just super uncomfortable and want to stop. Those’re my horror games.

I’m not the only one who thought it was fucking hilarious, right? I know it’s supposed to be body horror, and I do generally find Junji Ito’s stuff goddamn disturbing and horrifying, but this is the first one I saw and it just looked so funny to me that all his other stuff caught me completely off guard.

Also a trans woman, same experience. Somehow getting compliments all the time has been one of the hardest parts to adjust to. Dunno how to respond to them, and can’t distinguish which ones are creepy because they all feel good after so long of getting none.

I do a similar thing to help myself get started, and the secret is it doesn’t have to be chores. Step one can be literally anything that’s easy to do that you’re not currently doing. For instance, my step one is often something as simple as talking to somebody. Then step 2 is something closer to what you need to do. Like if I’m gonna need to do something that requires more energy, my step 2 could be taking a walk, or if I can’t get myself to do that, pacing around a bit.
You just work up until doing the task you need to do becomes the natural conclusion. If my task was cleaning the bathroom, the next step after walking might be brushing my teeth, then I say “Well I’m already up and doing stuff, and I’m already in the bathroom. Might as well clean it.”

And it’s not always gonna work, which I think is okay, as long as it works often enough that my space remains livable.

👋

As somebody with schizoaffective, which is similar to bipolar, I can definitely get those extremely rapid cycling mood swings over the course of just minutes. According to my psychiatrist, this is, in fact, a very common experience.
The smaller mood swing’s magnitude is affected by the larger ones though. Like being in a depressive phase, if I snap aggressively, I’m more likely to follow that up by crying and apologizing after, whereas in a manic phase I’m more likely to abruptly completely ignore it minutes later and now act like you’re my best friend.
I can’t speak for if that’s a normal thing in bipolar, but it’s definitely a thing in schizoaffective, and is dramatically more common when a major life event stresses me out.

That’s what I do. If somebody’s gonna be pissed no matter how you pronounce it, might as well piss them all off equally.

It’s partially that, but I more use obscure definitions for words rather than their intuitive ones. The issue is I don’t know what the average person will understand.

The bigger problem is probably that I’m super autistic and expect people to know what I’m thinking just because I know it. I write a thousand paragraphs clarifying useless details to try to be clear, and then somebody will be like “Okay, but you never even once mentioned what it is you’re talking about,” and I’ll be like “Oh, I assumed by the fact that I said I was excited and mentioned several things that don’t happen in real life that it was clear I was talking about a new game I was enjoying.”
I never know what details are actually useful to clarify until somebody’s getting confused about one of them (or usually more like 50 of them.)

I text multiple paragraph texts back to back over and over again. I’m told even being that verbose I’m still completely incomprehensible most of the time.

Depends. Nicer to men? Probably. Nicer to women? Hell. No.
Can’t count how many times I’ve seen people call out things like body shaming of men, but do the same thing to women and suddenly it’s a “natural expression of human sexuality.”

I suppose it’s just the end result of any community dominated by an extreme majority of men, but it sure as hell doesn’t feel good and has made me heavily consider deleting my account and just finally giving up on social media entirely.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone actually ask somebody to leave where I’m from. If it gets too late and our guests are still there, guess they’re staying the night. Luckily, most people leave before then.
I’ve lived most of my life in tiny Vermont villages, for context.

When I was little, I had times where I just straight up slept at the dinner table because I refused to eat. My parents learned quickly that if they didn’t want me to starve to death, they were gonna need to make foods I actually liked.
Once they’d been doing that for a while, I got a lot more open to trying new foods, even ones I didn’t like before, because now everyone else was eating and enjoying food I didn’t have and I wanted to be a part of that. Didn’t make me automatically like everything, but it did open me up to a lot of healthier options.

Don’t even have to be that old to experience that. There’s this weird phenomenon where if you’re born at the tail end of the 90s, anyone born 2000 onward feels infinitely younger, even if the actual age difference is only a few years.
I was born 1998 and I still look at anybody born in 2000 like “you’ve gotta be 12 years old max.”

I sort by active because the slower flow of content helps me avoid a social media addiction. I just check the few posts that hit the top of my feed every day, then exit Lemmy for the day.

Fun fact, you can still hallucinate with aphantasia. Or so I’ve heard at least. I guess hallucinating and imagining with the mind’s eye must work with different mechanisms.

https://youtu.be/K3x8Tm7urfk?si=-_GUHpbEJN0BPash

I like your positivity.

Luckily, I am happy most of the time nowadays, just, y’know, in spite of my disorder.

As somebody with schizoaffective, I don’t understand where you’re coming from saying it means I’m the only one with power over myself. In fact, I’ve found even after being well medicated I’m incredibly easy to manipulate. All you have to do is tell me somebody’s trying to control me and instantly I’ve spun a 2000 foot deep web about how they’re doing it. Then you just tell me you have the solution and suddenly I’m eating out of your hand.

And my emotional barrier is paper thin. I only look unaffected by things. In reality if I’m the slightest bit scared or upset, I’m breaking down inside and spinning another web to fill in the cracks. My whole existence is built on delusions and lies I’ve built up to keep myself together, such that even now that I’m in a place where I theoretically could start breaking them down and rebuilding properly, I won’t, because I’d fall apart, and I can’t handle that.

I’ve decided to just be happy being fucked up. Not because that’s right, but because that’s the only thing I can survive.