Photographer: “Say cheese!”

Owl: “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

Wow dude, nice butt!

Lightly toasted rodent eliminator.

The bath photo is absolutely adorable,really glad to see the owl recovered after some time at the med spa

Hell yeah what we needed was for the government to be even less efficient

Idk if I’d call it a replacement per se but elden ring is an excellent large open world game with some really good variety of weapons / spells to play with. It also rewards exploration really well with secret loot and even entire secret areas

This is appropriately spooky for the time of year, thank you!

This dude is a massive fuckin rabbit hole holy shit

Yeah this alien fucked me up as a kid, this movie was absolutely wild

C

She didn’t make a video and then hit the “instant global internet fame button” it’s just luck of the draw. Maybe consider limiting your nieces’ access to the internet because hawk tuah isn’t even the 10th worst thing they can find on youtube. It seems more to me that your siblings probably told you it was fine and you’re bitter they didn’t immediately stop your nieces from saying it.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING TURN TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH”

That’s where they do the vasectomies

I love the sign on the right with a fish that just says “pet”

Thank YOU. This is the MOST VILE SPECIMEN I have ever been visually assaulted with.

I need something that’s going to GRIP and CLEAN the cum out of my PUBIC HAIR every time I’m in the bathroom and the PINK SOAP doesn’t have that effect which is why I ONLY use TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGRNT

Or to the sides of a Hippo, given their high speed windshield wiper technique

I never would have thought to ask this question, but now I’m glad i have an answer Absolutely majestic

Scruffy grandpa owl just remembered a fart joke to tell his grandkids

Mmmmmm delicious heavy metals…